Deathtoyouandtoyours - Get Off My Blog

Definitely. Not proud of it, but I do get that urge. Just one bite is all I want

Okay, this is gonna be a weird question...

But do any other ND individuals feel the need to self-harm during a sensory overload episode?

People keep telling me my job is supposedly easy, but it's not to me. It's so hard every damn day. and I feel guilty because I'm making more money than plenty of people who have it way worse, but I've gotten so depressed. I don't feel like it's worth it most of the time. I'm off 2 days a week, the building has air conditioning, and we get an hour for lunch, which is more than most people, but I'm still so upset all the time. And being so guilty about it is even worse.

Welcome, esteemed guests! Tonight's mental shit show will feature stories such as:

"I've Convinced Myself That All of my Co-workers Hate my Guts and Want me Gone! Do They have a Reason? Probably! But it Wouldn't Matter if They Didn't!"

Brought to you by the Rsd/ Undiagnosed ADHD foundation, The Slow Workers Union, and the Corporation for Teaching Autistics Social Cues.

Followed by: "I'm Trying to Keep Myself From Soiling my Pants and Keep Them From Falling"

Funded by: The Lactose Intolerant Idiot Research Fund, The People Who bought Their Pants Size Too Big and Lost Weight so They Feel Even Bigger Council, and The Belt Hater Advocacy Group

And for the Finale: "They're Making me Work Faster Than I Normally Would and I Can Barely Keep Up. My Body is Tired, and I Want to Quit. I Just Want to Go Home and Do Nothing More Than Sleep for a Year or Two."

Sponsored by: The PRMMI (People's Republic of Mistki and Mommy Issues), Tired Autistics Running on Energy Drinks and Daydreams Inc., www.No-I-wont-go-to-therapy-ill-keep-venting-here.org, and viewers like you :)

Please silence all devices, take any crying children outside, and enjoy the show.

I've gone from refusing to call what I experienced trauma to looking into finding a psychiatrist to see if I have cptsd.... (Over the course of several years unfortunately)

2006: "No. My parents aren't hitting or beating me. They're spanking me, and for good reason. :/"

2010: "I don't think you should spank kids, but what my parents are doing isn't bad. I think a pop on the hand makes more sense, but these spankings aren't abuse."

2014: "Well now I'm depressed. My parents definitely have a lot to do with it, but I don't think they were physically abusive. Definitely verbally and emotionally but I have no trauma."

2016: "it could have been so much worse, but it's all stuck in my brain and I can't get it out. It's definitely me being sensitive. That stuff doesn't cause trauma."

2019: "So it is trauma... But it wasn't that bad. I heard about little t trauma. That's what it is. I still have no right to complain."

2020: "Trauma is trauma. Why am I comparing? They messed up and I should've left by now. They were physically abusive, but still not that bad. Little t trauma still counts."

Very recently: "Nevermind. Big T trauma. It is most certainly that bad. I wouldn't have reacted that way back then if it wasn't."

Suck that it took me so long

Autistic culture is randomly switching your conversation style mid sentence. Specifically going from the most eloquent person you’ve ever met to talking like the child of a hill billy and a british pop star.

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

I feel like my brain is just broken beyond repair.

Nobody knows what wrong with it. All we know is that something is wrong.

Whatever it is is irreparable. All I can do is learn to live with it, but I don't want to. It's not fair.

PLEASE WATCH AND REBLOG - DON'T JUST LIKE - THANK YOU

BISAN IS AFRAID THIS MAY BE HER LAST VIDEO. THE OCCUPATION IS PLANNING TO INVADE NASSER HOSPITAL IN KHAN YUNIS, THE LAST FUNCTIONING HOSPITAL IN THE GAZA STRIP.

SHE WANTS PEOPLE TO SHARE THIS. PLEASE, PLEASE REBLOG.

I can't stand people who constantly ask for help but try to turn around and bite you when you try to help them. If I'm pointing out a pattern in your behavior that keeps leading you to ruining friendships, relationships, etc, don't be mad at me for what you've done to yourself. If you're wondering why everyone keeps breaking up with you a you keep losing friends, and someone who literally grew up with you tries to tell you that you're the problem, then maybe you are. That's not always the case, but you can't just sit there yelling over someone because you don't want to hear it. You can just walk away.

If you're in a public part of someone's house on speaker phone, people can hear your conversation. Be mindful of yourself. If your partner tells you that you've been immature, and someone wants to help you fix that, you don't have to accept the help. But you also shouldn't be a massive douche about it. Don't beg me to help you with random things in the middle of the night (for free, I might add) and then come back later and catch an attitude with me over the smallest things.

If I've talked you out of suicide, done your homework for you (even though you always agreed to pay me but never did), covered for you to keep you out of trouble, cooked for you, cleaned up your messes, given you advice every time you asked for it, and come to get you out of a rough spot, don't snap at me over nothing and then turn around and act like it never happened just to ask for my help again. If it's mental illness, you could at least apologize, but no. Nothing ever seems to be your fault. You never see how you could possibly be in the wrong. Don't stay up until it's time for you to leave and wonder why you're tired, stressed, and sickly. Don't keep hanging out with bad people and wonder why all of you keep getting into trouble, getting arrested, and fighting each other. Don't be overly demanding of your partners, walk all over them, act like you're better than them, constantly catch an attitude with them over nothing, start arguments over tiny things, and verbally assault them and then wonder why none of your partners are what you want them to be or why your relationships keep failing. Don't run around the house, stomping, blaring music, screaming in party chat, cackling, and singing at the top of your lungs at 3 am and then wonder why everyone is annoyed and glaring at you. Don't you DARE ask for divination constantly (once again for free) and then turn and tell me that my tools are "just a stupid necklace" or "just some dumb, cheap cards" after I get upset about being disrespected. Especially knowing full well that you've done much worse for much less.

Everyone is done with you. The person who was supposed to raise you had given up, so I will too. They weren't doing a good job in the first place, but everyone can only handle so much BS from one person. A lot of the problems in your life are entirely your fault, yet you never believe you're in the wrong, no matter how many times I not only try to warn you and help to prevent these things, but also help you pick up the peices afterwards. I'm done with you. I have no more sympathy left for you. The next time you drink to much, I'm doing the bare minimum. If you're not dying, piss off. The next time you smoke too much or smoke something too strong, I'm not helping you. The most I can do is call and ambulance. The next time you threaten to end it, I'm calling an ambulance. You don't want to be sent to the psych ward, but you definitely need it. It's not because of most of these complaints either. You genuinely need someone to keep you from hurting yourself.

I hope to get away from you soon and never have to speak to you again. Every little thing you do just wears away my nerves. You like to switch up and treat people like dirt whenever your friends are around. Your voice is so loud and grating, yet you don't care that you're bothering people. You're always touching someone or their belongings without permission, no matter how many times they tell you to stop. You only care about anything or anyone when it's your partner. You'll cook a whole continental breakfast for them but won't clean up your mess. Then, you go and waste food. They never eat it and you usually throw it away. YOU'VE HARASSED AND ABUSED THE FAMILY PETS and then you wondered why they don't like you. You acted like you hated me ever time your crush or your little friends came over. You've talked shit about me within earshot, and women me up by harassing with because you thought it was hilarious. Don't forget about the time you went in my room to steal my stuff and hide it, or how you read my diary and tried to run off with it. I only hope that you stop acting like this. If you keeps this up, I hope you get what you deserve. You can run away if you want, but it won't have the effect you think it will. Someone will miss you, but it won't be me.

In short, you make my ass itch.