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must be the season

of the witch

🎃

“i have of late lost all my mirth” should be a valid reason not to come in to work

that moment when you kick yourself for not picking up that book you put off sooner

every time you want to date someone because you feel sorry for them, just imagine your descendants summoning you every single time you think your soul is about to rest because they won’t let the fact that you married someone horrendously facially challenged and your angelic looks did not, in fact, balance out as you thought it would

I mean come on, did all the characters lack common sense to the point they just brushed over Caelum's identical markings to Estrella's? I was prepared for a shocking plot twist, not the obvious one smh

did i talk too much? did i talk too little? did i laugh too much? did i laugh too little? did i overshared too much? was i kind enough? did i listen good enough to them? did i ask the right questions? did i embarrassed myself? did i show enough interest? did i notice all hidden signs of their emotional state? did i make them feel bad? did i interrupt them? did i make them feel good about themselves? did i leave them better than i’ve found them?

I was re-watching the little mermaid and it got me thinking: it would have been so cool to be a guest to eric's weddings tbh

this guy's been raving about this mystery girl he says saved him and left him on the beach but nobody believes him, then he found a different girl in the same beach, proceeded to date her for a couple of days in front of the whole town, but then turns up with a different one (allegedly the first one) and decides he's marrying her on the spot

and you're like, sure, I need to see this mess

so you go to the wedding and it's WILD: there's some sort of animal riot, every creature is attacking the bride (including the prince's dog), town date redhead is being carried into the wedding ship in a barrel by a small fish, you're like 'I need to see how this turns out' and then mystery redhead, who was supposedly unable to talk, starts singing???? and talking??? and they're about to kiss???? but then the bride turns into sexy cthulhu???? and the redhead grows a fish tail???? and sexy cthulhu bride drags redhead into the water??????

you are taken ashore while the groom goes to fetch one of the brides, unsure which but all signs point to the redhead that was carried in the barrel, and then there's a storm, and sexy cthulhu becomes gigantic and is wearing a crown and you're like 'work, bitch' while eating snacks and then it's all over and sexy cthulhu disappears

but then there's another wedding announced and you're like 'I'm sure it can't top the first one' but you attend and TRITON shows up too????? myth and legend lord of the sea king triton from the stories????? with a white beard and an 8 pack and the same crown sexy cthulhu was wearing??? turns out he's the FATHER OF THE BRIDE??????? and there are mermaids everywhere, all around the ship, kind of unnerving tbh really really scary situation, but it's fine because triton is making rainbows in the sky and hugging the bride and manipulating water and you're also pretty sure the chef just got decimated by a crab?????

royal weddings should all be like these tbh this prince sure knows how to throw them like nobody else in the disney pantheon

What do I bring to the table? I bring my presence, my time, and my devotion. I have nothing else to prove and nobody to impress.