Phone Is Pretty Much Completely Broken Buuuut My Laptop Cam Still Works :3

intro post

hello! i am cyanospectre (been here plenty of times under various names) and you can call me Corvus, Cyan, Spectre, whatever you want really. prns are he/they but i don't particularly care (AMAB!!!!)

i'm audhd and this has only led to me being even sillier (and like twice as freaky. i think the lack of knowledge regarding social norms and boundaries has really pushed my "comfort zone" so to speak.)

interests: Persona series (in the middle of p1, beaten p3, p5, started p4), Death Note (duh.), Ace Attorney (just beat aa5!!!), Hollow Knight, Terraria, Minecraft, post-hardcore (MCR, PTV, etc.), nu-metal (Korn, Evanescence, some Limp Bizkit, etc.), punk (Dead Kennedys especially), and so many more. i am so normal about everything i like (just ask)

i love making friends, even beyond the freaky stuff. if you wanna talk, let's talk! i'm just a little bit awkward :(

expect me to mix big huge complicated words like "indefatigable" while i also show how completely rotten my brain is. and also that one tweet that's like "sexting like dracula." that's basically me.

freaky shit below cut

POINT OF NO RETURN!!!!!!!

i was NOT joking i'm freaky as hell!!

first things first, i'm pansexual, but if you're older than me i'm only letting you dom me if you're afab. no offense, guys, i just don't want stuff in my butt. SOME exceptions may apply, test the waters first.

more than willing to sub for older afab people though!!! as long as you're good at it, ofc.

i don't send (in most cases, like maybe you're really coercive or hot or something) but i'm not sure why you'd want nudes from me anyway!

kinks (no particular order, i wanna ramble): oh boy where do i even begin... switch (primarily dom w/ wiggle room), age gap (especially older woman/afab), praise (giving/receiving), degradation (giving only, i'm fragile), bondage (both light and extreme, giving/receiving), bodily harm/torture, worship, knives, sh (iykyk), cnc (especially somno/intox but everything), fauxcest, and like so much more

the best part is that i'm willing to try everything at least once. either ask beforehand or try exposing me to it and see where it goes, just listen and i'll do the same.

i am still clinging to my shreds of decency and morality, please understand if i'm a little hesitant or awkward at first!

it's hard for me to keep a conversation going after it's started, at least at first, so please be patient <3

if you don't want to rely on tumblr's shit ass messenger, i have a few other platforms.

tumblr im- CAUTION!!! open at all times for any reason, but don't be too explicit and don't send anything risque!

tlgd/tlgm/disc- i don't really give them out unless you make yourself seem interesting (especially disc), sell yourself :)

i have some others but i don't use them much

i may get "templed" but you'll know it's me from this intro post, i'll continue using it or something like it :)))

hey ;)

addendum addendum:

long story short, i guess i'm just so obsessive over little things. i suppose i need to live by the motto "it's easier to beg for forgiveness than permission," but it's much harder than it sounds. the thought of someone not forgiving me (even if i barely know them) is unbearable.

ugh and i'm SO worried about either talking too much or too little. it freaks me out when i type a lot and someone responds with a few words or vice versa.

anyways weird depressive rant over, back to the freaky and the weird... probably. might come back later if i don't get over this.

sometimes i wonder if i'm too nice for my own good

as much as i love the IDEA of doing it, i'm really awful at degrading people because i want everyone to feel good :D

it mostly comes from a place of anxiety, i guess. like a voice in the back of my head that tells me that everything i'm doing is wrong.

oh what a dilemma i have found myself in... i'd appreciate any tips if people have them, mostly about swallowing that anxiety (even though i don't think anyone would really read this)

happy 4/20 to those who celebrate. may your blunts be many and your chills be few.

oh and happy easter ig. get some egg.

where the 1000 year old vampires at

who up lookin for a thrall

and i also want to BE this person ugh

i want to show someone how much i love them in every single facet of the word. i want to manipulate them like a puppet on a string and turn them into my perfect, ideal person.

i'm smart enough to know how to do it, too :)

ughhh crazy and obsessive people my beloved

tell me you're not going to let anyone else even talk to me, condition me to believe that it's okay and that you're all i need

follow me home to "make sure i get home alright" and then look through my windows just to "double check"

send me texts and voicemails about nothing in particular because you just want to talk to me

threaten to hurt me or yourself if you even start to suspect that i'm going to leave you

tell other people that they can't talk to me, spread rumors saying stuff about me so that i'm all yours

hurt them when you see that they're still trying

and if i finally start to realize what you're doing, maybe you just need to take more drastic measures :3

aghhhhh i woke up sick to my stomach... why must the universe torture me like this?

anyway i had a really freaky dream but i can't remember it </3 i'll update tumblr if i do

3 & 25

Tobacco? No, smoking tobacco scares me. I wish I could smoke weed but I unfortunately rarely have access to it.

And stargazing. Like just driving out into the middle of nowhere where light pollution isn't an issue and then just looking up at the stars with a telescope. Better with a picnic blanket.

what do you find hot about sh?

mental illness, primarily. both the fact that i am mentally ill and the fact that i love mentally ill people. trauma is just hot. physical and emotional.

i can't tell if i was too smart or too dumb to get gr00med.

i WANT to believe it was the former, but... it was probably the latter tbh.