Lillian Gish In Night Of The Hunter  (Charles Laughton, 1955)

As much as I desperately want my fics to be up to the same standard as a traditionally published work, I’m not a literary editor.

I’ve been an editor of professional copywriting for many years, but I’ve come to learn that there is a gap between the skills needed for professional/technical editing and literary editing. Maybe not a vast gap. It’s still there.

All that to say, fanfiction gives writers and editors an opportunity to learn new skills. We should always keep honing our craft, no matter what that looks like.

I hate that there’s a stigma around fanfiction writing because it presents such a rich opportunity to grow as writers and editors.

And I hate even more that such a stigma stems from misogyny. There’s a pre-conceived notion that writers who are women (often queer women) and young don’t have anything worthy to offer. Of course, it swings in every direction for women of every age. Misogyny is no respecter of age, but the way some folks talk about young women’s writing makes me want to throw hands.

You — yes, you, fanfic writer reading this — need to keep doing what you’re doing. There is no more noble endeavor than creating something you love in earnest.

Don’t stop. Please.

I have read fanfics that have left me in tears, both happy and sad, had me laughing my ass off, wanting to scream. Fanfics might be seen as weird and taboo (weirdly enough) but no one can say that some fics aren’t so well written it feels like you’re reading a best selling book!

This is canon as far as I'm concerned

insp ☆

unplug to recharge

Far and away my favorite trope.

Like what do you mean they’ve moved from simple friendship to deep, unconditional love so seamlessly that neither of them noticed? That their lives became irrevocably entangled without a second thought?

I’m feral for it. Rabid. Shaking these two back and forth in my jaws like a delighted dog with its favorite toy.

"Didn't know they were dating" is slowly but surely becoming one of my favorite tropes. What do you mean, these two characters who are soulmates haven't actually been in a long-term relationship like everyone thought? What do you mean they didn't know? Everyone knows!

Today feels like falling down an extremely long staircase in slow motion.

So far my 30s have been like a second childhood.

I came out. I’m reconnecting with things that brought me joy as a kid. I’m rediscovering myself on my own terms and gearing up for the next phase of my life.

Really looking forward to my coming of age arc in my 40s ❤️

i think you can be 40 and have a coming of age narrative

Untitled Jotakak

Name: Untitled

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Ship: Jotaro/Kakyoin

Status: Unpublished WIP; unedited

Notes: AU where Kakyoin lives; post Part 3/ pre Part 4

Here's the thing about heartbreak: sometimes it's gradual. It's in the days of waiting for someone to come back, in the listening for a phone call, in the wishing and pining and knowing it will never work. Heartbreak is in the growing apart, the falling away in slow motion. It's in the sudden stop.

Kakyoin took the long way home.

He lingered in the cold, mostly barren streets, pausing often to look up at the few stars he could see through the streetlights. Heavy footsteps finally found him in front of the convenience store.

Perhaps it wasn't his brightest idea, but he bought a six pack. It didn't matter what kind of beer it was, really. As long as it worked.

The cashier rang him up, a knowing smile on her face. Or maybe that was just his projection. Surely unhappiness was plain on his face. Either way, he paid and went quickly on his way.

Down to the riverbank. Someplace as in-between as he felt.

He didn't want to go home and he couldn't really keep wandering forever. Sitting in the grass, he cracked open the first beer and sipped at it. The taste was sharper than he remembered. Not unpleasant, though.

The word that had been chasing him the entire way finally started to fade: engaged. Engaged. I'm engaged. Engaged.

Of course Jotaro's tone had been almost unreadable. But there was something strange and cruel wrapped up in his announcement. Why? That wasn't the Jotaro he knew… The man who tried to hide it but was kind down to his core. The man who was shedding his delinquent facade as he grew older, becoming a better version of his old self every day.

The one he'd wait patiently by the phone for in anticipation of their weekly calls. Who he'd reschedule his life around to make sure they could meet during breaks. The man who he was planning to follow to America as soon as he was fully healed and able to go.

His best friend.

The man he loved.

He was partway through beer three when things started to sting a little less. The idea of helping Jotaro plan a wedding and giving a speech praising the new union was painful. He was giving Jotaro away.

But, so what? He took another long pull from the can. I never planned on confessing or anything. I was going to keep the boat steady. This upsets everything, though. That bastard… we had a good thing going. Why waste it on a woman? On love?

Kakyoin made a derisive sound in the back of his throat.

"A good thing"? What good thing? A long distance friendship. Eventually going to the same college together. More of the same until they died? How would that have worked? Of course Jotaro would get married and carry on the Joestar line. Stupid to think that he would die a bachelor. Stupid to think that he would consider being with a man and losing the opportunity to have kids.

Kakyoin crushed the mostly empty can, the remaining liquid at the bottom spraying out suddenly. He barely noticed, his mind still wrapped up in his own thoughts.

They could have had kids together, damn it! There had to be options! Options that would be an uphill battle to obtain. And they could never get married, not really. Their families would be so disappointed. He imagined Holly's confused, upset face and it was too much.

He let the can slip out of his grasp and held his face in his hands. He was crying freely now.

All these feelings for Jotaro were wrong. He'd always known that this was part of his life he'd never be able to live. Stuck in a place that didn't understand or approve of how he felt. It was so painful. He had hoped moving to America would make things easier. It seemed so much more free over there for people like him. Maybe he'd even find out Jotaro felt the same way, eventually.

Not now.

He had to steel himself for the days ahead. The engagement changed nothing. He was still going to America. He'd still stay by Jotaro's side no matter what. Even if it meant pushing everything he felt so far down that he could never reach it. No matter what, he owed Jotaro his life and he would repay that at any cost.

His resolve strengthened a little, Kakyoin cleaned up his empties and pushed himself to his feet. The world felt fuzzy around the edges and his steps weren't the most steady, but he managed to make it home.

Once inside his apartment he collapsed on the couch and fell into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

My doc and I did some fiddlin with my ADHD meds and now I’m back in Executive Dysfunction Hell™

Forgot how bad it is down here fuckin get me out

people who dont experience it cannot comprehend how awful executive dysfunction is. I WANT to do the task, i have the resources TO do the task, i will feel better having DONE the task

but i cant fucking do the task

I truly want that, too.

To have someone fall asleep reading one of my fics, happy and at ease

That really is the dream

my dream as a fanfic writer is for one day, one of my fics to be someones comfort fic. like the fic that they reread when they don't feel good and want to be happy. i want my words to comfort someone one day

Yay!! Shells is back!!

Elliott and Willy being pals and swapping writing tips/life advice soothed my soul in a way I didn’t know I needed ❤️

Shells | Part 21 (shelliott stardew fic)

all parts | <- previous | next ->

so happy to be back!

Patreon here!