Caption:

Caption:

[Man 1: (singing) One last time. Did you just... flick my hand away from your hand? It just like registered like three seconds later. Why did you do that? You didn’t want the Hydrangeas to see? They’re homophobic ya know. That’s why they’re not blooming as well.

They’re spewing hate. So they’re not... blooming. That’s how that works by the way. If you spew hate you don’t bloom, as a human. So you can tell when someone’s unhappy and they’re causing pain to someone else, you’re just a flower who’s not blooming and you’re mad you’re not blooming.

But it’s because you’re mad at the other person. So just stop being mad at the other person and focus on your blooming. Focus. On. Your blooming! (laugh) They’re really not doing so well.

Man 2: And that’s because they’re homophobic?

Man 1: Or the soil.]

More Posts from Cursed--cowboy and Others

2 years ago

rain in the mountains !

2 years ago

every other race: just found out that shit is a fertiliser

the dwemer:


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4 years ago
2 years ago
cursed--cowboy - cursed--cowboy
2 years ago

Me: *draws a tarot card to describe me; picks The Fool*

Me, a fucking fool: “Oh, I wonder what this could mean”

2 years ago

Danger bush

2 years ago

OC questions I’ve asked my friends & TTRPG players…

… Ranging from somewhat profound to intensely inane. Thought I’d share them in case anyone else can get some use out of them!

What was the last time they pulled an all-nighter, if ever?

What’s the weirdest place they’ve ever slept?

If they were living now, what type of face mask would they wear — ie, plain black, patterned, with words, etc?

As a young kid, were they particularly attached to any comfort items, like stuffed animals or a blanket?

What do they think of abstract art?

When going out in cold weather (say under 0C/32F), what kinda outfit do they wear?

Are they afraid of heights?

Are they a fast/slow/average reader?

Are there any foods that they really fucking hate?

On a scale of 1-10, how bothered are they by the sight of blood?

When’s the last time they laughed so hard they cried, if ever?

Do they prefer baths or showers?

What’s a reoccurring dream/nightmare that they have, if any?

When they visit museums, do they go slowly, reading everything, or go through quickly?

Do they ever cry at movies/books/shows?

Have they ever kept a journal?

Are they good at jigsaw puzzles? Do they enjoy them?

What’s the most physically uncomfortable situation they’ve ever been in?

What do they do when they’ve got a song stuck in their head?

Favourite type of baked goods? Are they good at baking?

Are they a good kisser?

How much do they follow the news? Has this always been the case, or has it changed over time?

Favourite ice cream flavour?

Do they ever cry because something is too cute?

Do they have any superstitions?

How consistent/regular is their sleep cycle?

If they were to play D&D, what race/class would they pick?

Do they sing in the shower?

Can they play an instrument? Which one?

Can they ride a bike?

Favourite meal of the day?

What do they smell like?

Do they like to doodle?

What’s one of their guilty pleasures?

Do people usually notice their eye colour?

What are their lying “tells”? Are they aware of these tells?

A friend whips out a camera unexpectedly and goes “say cheese!” — what pose do they strike?

What would be the worst quality that someone could attribute to them, in their own mind? As in, what would they think is the worst thing someone could think about them — that they’re selfish, lazy, violent, cowardly, stupid, etc.?

How do they mark their place in a book?

Big spoon or little spoon?

How much time/thought do they put into their outfit on an average day?

What’s the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever spent money on?

What’s a funny story that a stranger has about them?

What do they consider the kindest thing someone has ever done for them?

What’s the cruelest thing they’ve done that they don’t regret?

What’s their least favourite chore?

The person they care about most/their best friend asks them to hide a dead body. How willing are they to help, no questions asked?

What’s the favourite way to eat potatoes?

If they were a plant, what would they be?

If they had to give an impromptu hour-long lecture on any subject, what would they talk about?

What would be/is their most-used/favourite emoji?

What would/do they put as their computer/phone wallpaper/ background?

Have they always had their current hairstyle? If not, what’s another hairstyle they’ve had in the past?

When they can’t fall asleep, what do they do?

What do they consider the best decision they’ve ever made?

What do they wear for a day out at the beach?

How do they feel about babies? How would they deal with a friend’s baby being put in their arms?

Most embarrassing situation they’ve ever experienced?

How do they feel about rollercoasters?

Have they broken any bones and if so, how?

Do they consider themself a good liar?

Would they rather have very cold weather (under -20C/-4F) or very hot weather (over 30C/86F)?

How good are they/would they be at Monopoly?

Do they like musicals?

Have they ever been blackout drunk? Under what circumstances?

What genre is the book that they’ve read the most times in their life?

What’s something they (at this moment) think/hope they’ll never have to admit to someone else?

How good/bad are they/would they be at assembling IKEA furniture?

What’s something that really scared them as a kid?

Ae they allergic to anything?

What’s the longest they’ve ever gone without sleeping, and why?

Feelings on spicy food?

How much do they jay-walk in cities?

Do they have any tattoos or piercings? Do they want any/more?

Preferred way to eat eggs?

Do they consider themself an optimist, pessimist, or realist?

If they’re served a food they don’t like (at like, a restaurant or someone else’s house), will they eat it anyways or leave it to the side?

Would they describe themself as funny?

How physically flexible are they?

What’s the most bored they’ve ever been?

What’s one book you’ve read that you think they would also like?

What’s a scent that never fails to make them nostalgic?

What’s the worst thing they’ve done on a dare?

How did they celebrate their coming-of-age?


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cursed--cowboy - cursed--cowboy
cursed--cowboy

https://cursedcowboy.carrd.co/

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