"crystalbrain-i Am A Fucking Moron" NFT 1/1 Ethereum

crystalbrain-seaweed75 NFT 1/1

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crystalbrain-seaweed75 1/1 | crystalbrain-seaweed75

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

ok did u ever see the matrix, i guess it was a movie? there was a lot of green digital shit goin on like a bunch of zeroes and ones fucking together in a black void of weird shit, it was a good movie. but imagine seaweed; if you get possibly vegan seaweed u can cover the sides of ur sushi with it, so its like a bunch of motherfucking sushi-sandwiching green-stuff. but if u look at seaweed in the matrix maybe it would look like this. why make art about seaweed?? i dunno, there's lots of renahsahns dudes who made like bowls of fruits for dollars by the new class of people created by money changing i guess. so i guess if u can make art about fruit of the loom or whatever u can make seaweed matrix art.

but oh know something is kinda fucked up about this art; no its not jpeg corruption, there's some fucked upness to this picture, and u can rest assured that it is not ur braincells being sodomized by seaweed in the brainus but some actually really intentionally fucked up stuff. like every post i must ask what the point is about all this? and i asked myself this and i didn't get a good answer but instead of feeling despair and putting a bullet in mah brain i decided to post this and tell u about the angst i feel in not having a good reason for this existing other than…

…i need to pay for the demonburger to eat at burger king which is teh flesh of demons i guess but its plant-based demons so whatevs.

crystalbrain-le avion NFT 1/1

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https://zora.co/collections/0x5838e5923e479BD4d12868F9D554E7f68880Fb2F/1

ok, so birds are a strange thing. they fly over u i guess, and sometimes they fly at u i guess; it's a matter of taste or braververy for the bird i suppose. if the bird was an eth addict and u had some eth maybe it would fly into ur home or ur wallet or something. maybe it could be a meth addict bird and then it'd be skinny and ugly but this one looks more like something else, maybe a hypnagogmagogic hallucination (fuck, i hate teh book of revelations). but remember u can't spell meth with out e-t-h. that's ETH that u give me, and i promise I won't give any birds meth.

flying over ur head and pooping on u is sometimes things birdz do, yes. oui. why is there french in here? does crystalbrain even speak french like some guy that went to france so the maga dudes wouldn't nail him to the cross for being a filthy artist? i don't know, crystalbrain sometimes isn't too smart about these things, but crystalbrain is aware that in french pornos french girls go "oui oui oui!" when they're getting it on. that reminds me of the little finger that went we we we all the way home i guess, but maybe this is stupid because the finger wasn't on some french girl in a porno speaking sign language translation to the masturbators.

i guess what crystalbrain's trying to say is that crystalbrain is 1) fucking maybe insane maybe not and 2) created this art about birds which has nothing to do with meth or french girls saying oui or maybe it does. crystalbrain don't know.

https://undefinedlabelnoise.com/index.php?crystalbrain=index for a curatated list of crystalbrain NFTs.

biography of crystalbrain

summary:

crystalbrain is a foolish idiot brain. they are composed only of the finest sugar, salt, and perhaps more illegal things, perhaps not…crystalbrain tries to maek a thought, but a thought owns them they think. they think to theirself "why do i exist" but then smells their armpits. crystalbrain sometimes says he, sometimes they, but 100% of the time is an idiot god brain. crystalbrain refuses to belieeve that the romans didnt pay their soldier dudes in salt, becuz crystalbrain doesn't want to admit they're wrong. crystalbrain rules over the entire universe and this is why the universe is so fucked. crystalbrain never got very far in parasite eve but thinks he's a "respect mah authority" on this game. crystalbrain has more video games than books in their brain. crystalbrain won't shut the fuck up and thinks stupidity is still stupid because he's stupid or maybe smart in that respect.

crystalbrain heard that if u took a piece of shit and threw them into space they would eventually turn into a crystal due to entropy, or maybe this is wrong. crystalbrain spent their youth doing speed enemas in their brainus. crystalbrain has never had a husband, a wife, or any kids that grew up to be little crystalbrains. crystalbrain has no electricity in their neurons but just really cool lightning shit that is the domain of enlightenened stupidity.

in the beginning…

…there was a tv. this tv got fucked in the ass and decided to give birth to a brain. this brain was in the fetal state inside the tv tube. after growing on disney, the maligignant semen created by priests who jack off in confessionals created quanantum shifts in reality that caused tv to explode, and one of these broken tv shards was crystalbrain. he was lodged in teh brain of an infant but no one ever knew, and having caused brain damage to this infant created a negative feedback loop of complete stupididity. the child didn't know it, but his subconscious did, that he would have to rise up and get revenenge on the priest who jacked off in the confessional and created the abominatation that is himself. this was a life-long task and there were all kinds of hurdles to complete, includuding not getting molested by anyone, learning how to avoid doing basic arithmetic, making sure that he grew up with proper non-heterosexual orientation, programming dick pics in QBASIC, and smoking copious quanitities of marijuana, crack cocaine, and meth.

part 2:

crystalbrain read the book naked lunch by william s. burroughs but he was 2 stoopid 2 understand it, even though it was written on drugs. he had hallucinations from the movie blade runner and modern society seemed to open up to him and make him a king in his own mind. the only problem was that he was aktually in rehab for going psychotic from doing lots of drugs. this was an unfortunate side effekt of being the kind of guy who smokes crack all the time, and he found taht the best course of action would be 2 make noise music. so he did this and set up a set of speakers 2 blast merzbow in front of the archdiocecese of some city or another. this caused priests 2 roll on the floor in agony clutching a knife and cutting off their pedophile genitals, but only a few boys were saved from being completely groomed and molested by catholic priest guys.

the nuns did not approve, but fortunately crystalbrain had artificial intelligence training on how to deal with nuns with machine guns. was it he that had the machine guns, or the nuns who had the machine guns in taht last sententence? it may have been both because the nuns advanced on him with machine guns and virginity on their minds but he totally wiped out like a squadron of nuns and they were black and white and red all over. this was a monumenental acheivment and he went on 2 become the king of the church for 2 minutes until the national guard arrived, but using telepathetic mind control powers he was able 2 maek the national guard become on his side, so they went rampaging through the cities leik a bunch of methed up guys with machine guns, which they aktually were since he gave them all glass pipes and huge chunks of crystal meth to smoke. anyways they were going 2 taek over whatever city but they ended up having homosexual intercourse instaed. this was expected because dudes with guns aktually want 2 fuck guys in the ass but they're too dumb 2 realize this so they shoot ppl i guess.

crystalbrain wandered the streets liek a manic preacher, telling people the gospel of drugs, but he really had kind of ruined his life because now everyone wanted him dead. so he sort of shifted down into an alternate dimension on the darkweb where there was a metaverse where dudes were selling acid and he met a dude with a bunch of cryptocurrency and they had lots of drugs. so now crystalbrain went into the school playground near the place he grew up and started telling ppl that taking LSD is fun becuz he felt bad about the idea of selling meth to kids so he just sold them acid so they would hallucinate lots of gaping maws of infininity swallowing their minds and sanity in a psychedelic void.

to be continued…

part 3:

doing hard drugs took its toll on crystalbrain but he had magical powers 2 heal his body and mind he got from a ghost in a graveyard. he had stayed up for 4 days and realized that reality was bullshit and that he had the power 2 heal his wounds liek a greek god or something. then he went 2 try 2 stop a train with his bare hands but no matter how much crack he smoked the train always knocked him out of the way. he decided 2 taek a bunch of thermite and melt the railroad tracks on a train in russia and this indeed caused a crash but it wasn't as satisisfying as making it crash by standing in front of it and punching it. he had a vision, a goal in his mind taht he would one day punch a train and it would fly into the sun and burn up. this was a dream he held on to for dear life.

one day he discovered pcp and this was indeed the cure for his ailment of not being abel to punch a train into the sun. he smoked some marijuana that was laced with pcp and suddenly he was the most powerful being in all of eternity and it felt really great. he found a train and punched it so hard that when it hit the sun it caused a solar flair that heated the earth by 10 degrees fairenheight for a couple minutes. if u ever felt hot maybe u were in his reality where this happened (in some other realities he did not succeed in stopping the train and got hit by it and died i guess but this is the good reality we're talking about where crystalbrain punched a train into the sun and maeks NFTs still).

crystalbrain-rectal trump NFT 1/1 on opensea.io

OpenSea

crystalbrain-rectal trump - Collection | OpenSea

crystalbrain...

ok, so the thing about this is that this is teh RECTAL TRUMP, yes, this is what teh CIA wanted to do to donald j. trump, which is SHIT ON HIS FACE. this fact which is 100% true is becuz he was such an annoying sonuvabitch, we couldn't get him to do anything right. he had his own uninfoformed opinions about everything, he wouldn't listen 2 us or smoke crack, he was such a fucking shitface and this tribute is the 100% desire of crystalbrain to put FECES ON DONALD TRUMP'S FACE. yes u see him peering into eternity's rectum, and crystalbrain ate alternate dimensional versions of trump in order 2 send a huge amount of dump at trump. if u look closely u will see that the crap is made of TRUMP HIMSELF.

the thing about trump is that he's liek teh guy at the party who won't shut up. now i don't know about you, but here at crystalbrain's organization we take great pleasure in laying a log cabin on the faces of people who won't shut teh fuck up about how great they are. no, this is definitely what donald j trump had coming 2 him, he is totally covered in shit and this is a good thing for the future of humanity. we don't liek his ass so he gets 2 get a load out of ours!! we had 2 get minions 2 tie him down but in teh end it was worth it because teh stupid sonuvabitch finally shut up once he was choking on our excrement. imagine this for teh future of mankind: donald j trump UTTERLY HUMILIATED by SHIT.

don't even get me started on what we have planned for vladimir putin lol.

crystalbrain-web spider 1/1 NFT on OpenSea

OpenSea

crystalbrain-web spider - crystalbrain-web spider | OpenSea

ok so this is some real motherfucking shit dropped down from god's asshole like an asteroid of feces. it says "web" and it could be constru

ok so this is some real motherfucking shit dropped down from god's asshole like an asteroid of feces.

it says "web" and it could be construed as a web, i guess. but its motherfuckin' got a spideer on it! yes, spideers are par for the course for crack-smoking interdimensional reaganites. i mean every time we'd see one at the white house reagan would push a button and dudes would come up with these fuckin hoses full of bug killer yeah? and then we'd get to see a spideer die a horrible death. whut are my cocksucking, cunt-kicking thoughts on green spiders? i say those motherfuckers are radioactive and i don't want them uraniuming up my shit, capeche? even if u bring in some plutonium-proof suit or some shit near me just keep the motherfuckin green spider away from me, do u understand?

i haven't even addressed the question of "why" there's a green spideer there, what the punctuation marks are doing on it, and what the fuck the point of this all is. i guess the point is that green spideers are kind of like pop culture, and they can grow on u liek a cancerous tumor. see we get in ur head with pop culture, we're not jacking off or joking that we've got lotsa shit we need to control ur minds with, and that's our green spidierman. peter farker, spidier man.

see, back in the the 1980s we had a bunch of shit we could use to get people to be cool with us doing things. we had tv, radio, the music industry, the media. they pumped out this notion of some super-dude called a superman or some shit and it was cool like a college campus in antarctica. but then some people didn't liek this superman, and that is what we need teh motherfucking green spidiers for: to hunt these people down and turn them into peter farkers to our cause of money-making.

crystalbrain-hexadecimal NFT 1/1 ethereum

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crystalbrain-hexadecimal 1/1 | crystalbrain-hexadecimal

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

ok, so there's these things called computers right?? and i guess there's these motherfuckers called bytes if u follow my drift, and because i'm so full of psychiatric drugs sodomizing my brain cells it's a weeeee bit hard to explain, but u can have a byte shown into your eyeballs with two numbers, but the numbers have to be liek:

0123456789ABCDEF

instead of:

0123456789

so instead of just numbers, u have alphabets in there 2. right?? but anyways cryptocurrency addresses use this numerical fuckery for their addresses. why? because u can show a byte as two numbers or letters and its always 2 characacters i guess.

omg i just explainained somethin 2 u. maybe all of drugs arent as bad as i thought and i can form a cohererent thought ok?

BUT ANYWAYS, u will probabably not realize that the numbah 16 has something to do with the patterns in the image. there's a 10 which is actually 16, and the 16 is actually 10. does this maek fucking sense??? NO. not if ur dumb.

but anyways….this is called hexadecimal numbers and i learned about them before i became stupider from killing massive amounts of brain cells, which may be an ongoing process if the 12 pillz i take in the morning are any indidication.

why would i maek an NFT about this? bcuz i liek hexadecimal, maybe because the last number is "F" which is the letter for "fuck" or "fondue" even tho i don't eat fondue because i'm vegan. if u want a homage 2 hexadecimal, u got it right here & u can take out ur ETHs and buy this leik usual.

crystalbrain-trump micropenis

undefined label NFTs

crystalbrain NFT: crystalbrain-trump micropenis

An NFT on undefined label by crystalbrain

ok, donald j. trump just doesn't understand teh whole CIA thing, which is that we have constant, orgiastic, cocaine-fueled man-on-man sex orgies. we didn't know why, but evenentually we figured out why donald trump has no fuckin gay sex with us: he has a very, very, very small penis. eye think that trump paid stormy daniels money 2 say that his penis looked liek toad from mario kart becuz this is actually a compliment compared 2 the reality of trump's incredibly small penis. it is really small, at first i thought i was looking at a clitoris but it was not the case becuz there was a nutsaq underneath it, and it was liek just a tiny little dick with two gigantic balls that apparently maek him act even dumber than me. he was really bitchy about cocaine acting all holier than though about it but we eventually got his ass to do a line. he wouldn't smoke crack becuz his two gigantic manballs made him a testosterone filled racist but since cocaine is for rich ppl he thought, we were able 2 convince him 2 at least try it. all i gotta say is that donald trump out-assholed everyone, every CIA agent was completely baffled as 2 how someone could be such a grandiosose asshole and i for one did not want him near teh cocaine again. he didn't know how 2 be a world leader, becuz he couldn't handle his cocaine.

so anyways, he doesn't listen 2 our coke-addled advice and then the fucker turns on us and tries 2 get rid of teh legislature we control, leik hello? we're teh CIA, we were on to your ass the second u wouldn't show us ur penis, did u not know that we used interdimensional superpowers 2 keep u from overthrowing our cool little circle of rich cocaine heads? u think ur a real machivellian but ur not realistic enough, ur just leik a really dumb schoolyard bully who's mad cuz he got a D minus on a math quiz and his dad fucked him in the ass as punishment. seriously, what can i say that hasn't been said about u? oh, i know, u call hentai "japanese cartoons" but these are actually sex demons that ur penis will never experience.

because its too fuckin' small.

crystalbrain-anaeris dorisopen NFT 1/1

ok, so crystalbrain is not too smart sometimes, maybe because of all the crystals put in there like new age dudes.

crystalbrain posted an nft that they had already posted; dumb huh?

and in the post was something like the idea that someone had taken the nft onto an an anti-nft blog and posted it as free art and welll....

crystalbrain’s response was that, yes, basically, u can do that because these are just fucking images that people specoolate on but that you can buy the nft because...

uhm....

well....

uhhhhh....

let’s seee......

hmm....

buy crystalbrain’s NFT lol

now on to the descriptive text of this one:

ok, so i have a bunch of these freaking ghosts in my head i thought for a while. like u know those scientologists? well they're dumb i guess, but they think these alien fuckwad things called thetans attach to ur body like scotch tape or ticks or something. anywaaay, what i mean to say is that i am completely a lunatic, and thought that my memories were actually ghosts in my brain, like they had just wandered in and hijacked some neurons. then i started thinking, maybe these ghosts were actually just a joke, like all this stuff i remember, its actually a fucking joke like "why did the ghost cross the road? because it was haunting the chicken!" see? i just made that shit up, and maybe a ghost told me to do it. that would be really dumb new age bullshit wouldn't it? just being made of ghosts. like your 5th birthday party? just a ghost 5th birthday party? the first time u ever jerked off right? a ghost. like imagine just ghosts everywhere. like maybe u don't even have a body, maybe its just that a bunch of ghosts tell u that u have a body. see? i'm a smart thinker, hire me as ur cult leader and i'll tell u its ok to screw a lot of people.

https://zora.co/collections/0xb8642926904C3D27566e27A515971E2eacd65f5a/1

crystalbrain-crack cocaine for the soul 1/1 NFT ethereum

market.zora.co

crystalbrain-crack cocaine for the soul 1/1 | crystalbrain-crack cocaine for the soul

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

ok, so crystalbrain got introduced 2 crack cocaine by this dude in the motherfuckin' CIA in a VR simululation to train nicaraguan rebels. he had a glass pipe which he put a flame 2 and he took a hit and all of a sudden it was liek a hailstorm of nun-killings just jumped into his brain liek a complete disasterpiece of youphoric wonderfulness. this was after having a gay orgy with manuel noriega and some colombian dudes and it was a perfect moment of spectackular crack rock hitting wonder. this was not the first time crystalbrain had done drugs, no, he had smoked marijuana, tripped on psilocybin mushrooms, dosed on LSD, gotten fucking jacked on speed, taken benzos, rolled on ecstacy, inhaled huge balloons full of nitrous oxide, gone to other dimensions on salvia divinorum, snorted heroin, chugged cough syrup, gotten blown out of his mind on DMT, and this among probably hundrededs of other reasons is why crystalbrain did not live up to his full potential as a contributing member of the matrix.

but being with CIA agents smoking huge rocks of crack cocaine as a test 2 see if crack was a good idea 2 fill the ghettos of america with in order to be a proper instrurument of the government to keep poor people jonesin 4 a hit, he decidided that what his soul really, really deep down craved was an extatic union with the god…of crack. yes, crystalbrain had met his new god, and being 10 years old and fondled by ronald reagan he decided he would go on a mission 2 get every threat 2 the status kwo hooked on this incredibly racist form of cocaine. he snuck around on an alternate form of existence putting telepathic thoughts to buy roses in glass toobs in the inner cities of amerikkka and it was his complete desire that not only should everyone who was poor smoke crack, that eventually aliens would put the entire planet earth into one big crack pipe and take a gigantic hit off of the pipe and get high for liek…15 minutes. and thus crystalbrain went back 2 school and started selling crack cocaine 2 his classmates in the school bathroom.

it was not known at the tiem but crack cocaine made its way through multiple layers of existence, and so there were demons smoking crack, angels smoking crack, and there was god himself sittin' on his throne smoking a big fat dime rock of crack with his donations from churches. satan got in on the game and started smoking crack, but this was just in the judeo-christian realm of existence. there were buddhas smoking crack, lao tzu's force ghost was smoking crack, in the star wars universe obi wan kenobi was smoking crack with anakin, and everyone in the entire multiverse was having a great time getting high on crack. but then they all got addicted and started selling their assholes to buy crack, and then the DEA became an interdimensional entity and forced its way through the multiverse, and everyone got busted because they were selling and smoking so much crack.

crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii

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crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii 1/1 | crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

ok. alrite…we have a sundial here i guess, but its a really fuckin abstract sundial, with a bunch of roman letters liek a clock i guess typed above it. it even says fucking "sundial" on it. hey u know what my favorite time is? when i get to eat food, or maybe when i punch myself in the face with a roll of quarters. u know why i do that? because a fist + money = -money - fist so its like not punching yourself at all and losing money. but this is bullshit because u still punched yourself and u have ur roll of quarters still.

time is a delicate subject 4 me, yes. i have always treaded on the topic of time with due caution, as it is definitely not something to mess with. time deserves respect! time is our friend! but did u know that time is just being split into three categories, the past, present, and future i guess. do i care or even understand such things? i do not, because i smoked so many drugs that i decided it wasn't worth thinking about anymore. did u know that time is a really complex thing, liek something that there's many views upon and scientific understandings of, and that its really hard to explain here because i'm limited by my crystalbrain 2 only 4 dimensions, but time is one of them, and time is on my side, yes.

people don't really get time, its a beautiful, beautiful thing that can be divided up however u want probably, but i wouldn't mess with it because its probably power itself or soemthing.