Ok, Crystalbrain Is An Insane God Idiot Brain That Makes Nft Art. Are You With Me? Crystalbrain Likes
ok, crystalbrain is an insane god idiot brain that makes nft art. are you with me? crystalbrain likes the FUTURE and BRAINS and FRACTALS and making BEAUTY from out of their spacious, vacuous crystal brain.
you may buy this NFT here from zora.co
if you want to see a page that lists crystalbrain's NFTs with insane godlike rambling commentary by the brain theirself, view it here:
#nft #nftart
More Posts from Crystalbrain7 and Others
crystalbrain-failed megalomaniac putin 1/1 NFT on opensea
mr. putin was always a difficulty. wtf is he invading countries crystalbrain didn't give him permission to invade? if ur going 2 invade a country, u better make sure u have crystalbrain on ur side or he'll ritually sodomize u while smoking a huge rock of crack cocaine, which is the fate that awaits vladimir putin. yes, he will be anally humiliated and made 2 be the bottom of some serious man-on-man action. u don't go invade ukraine if crystalbrain says no, or the CIA says no, or u will fall from grace. we have zelenskyy all pissed off becuz u invaded his country, wtf were u doing, drinking that vodka shit? u need to have a nice session with our buddies in intel and share ur sexual exploits while getting high with us, that's ur problem mr. putin, u don't know how to have fun so u kill ppl.
now, u will find that there's going 2 be lots of ukrainian soldiers blowing the shit out of everything u send at them becuz ur a dumbass, and that's what happens 2 dumbasses that can't fight wars right and don't know how to handle their crack cocaine and listen 2 repressed homosexuals who wanna pretend liek they're some kind of right-wing philosopher asshole who's 2 afraid of anal sex so he fucks over russia with his dumbass thoughts. imagine 4 a second if u could stop drinking vodka 4 a moment and think about what ur actually doing. u will find that its some dumbass shit. no one lieks u, we all think ur some kind of guy with a failed country that he had a chance 2 maek into a great eden of debauchery but he instead sent all the dudes off to get their asses blown off by HIMSARs
ur a fuckin dumbass putin and u fell from grace dude, if hell still existed even satan would kick u out.
biography of crystalbrain
summary:
crystalbrain is a foolish idiot brain. they are composed only of the finest sugar, salt, and perhaps more illegal things, perhaps not…crystalbrain tries to maek a thought, but a thought owns them they think. they think to theirself "why do i exist" but then smells their armpits. crystalbrain sometimes says he, sometimes they, but 100% of the time is an idiot god brain. crystalbrain refuses to belieeve that the romans didnt pay their soldier dudes in salt, becuz crystalbrain doesn't want to admit they're wrong. crystalbrain rules over the entire universe and this is why the universe is so fucked. crystalbrain never got very far in parasite eve but thinks he's a "respect mah authority" on this game. crystalbrain has more video games than books in their brain. crystalbrain won't shut the fuck up and thinks stupidity is still stupid because he's stupid or maybe smart in that respect.
crystalbrain heard that if u took a piece of shit and threw them into space they would eventually turn into a crystal due to entropy, or maybe this is wrong. crystalbrain spent their youth doing speed enemas in their brainus. crystalbrain has never had a husband, a wife, or any kids that grew up to be little crystalbrains. crystalbrain has no electricity in their neurons but just really cool lightning shit that is the domain of enlightenened stupidity.
in the beginning…
…there was a tv. this tv got fucked in the ass and decided to give birth to a brain. this brain was in the fetal state inside the tv tube. after growing on disney, the maligignant semen created by priests who jack off in confessionals created quanantum shifts in reality that caused tv to explode, and one of these broken tv shards was crystalbrain. he was lodged in teh brain of an infant but no one ever knew, and having caused brain damage to this infant created a negative feedback loop of complete stupididity. the child didn't know it, but his subconscious did, that he would have to rise up and get revenenge on the priest who jacked off in the confessional and created the abominatation that is himself. this was a life-long task and there were all kinds of hurdles to complete, includuding not getting molested by anyone, learning how to avoid doing basic arithmetic, making sure that he grew up with proper non-heterosexual orientation, programming dick pics in QBASIC, and smoking copious quanitities of marijuana, crack cocaine, and meth.
part 2:
crystalbrain read the book naked lunch by william s. burroughs but he was 2 stoopid 2 understand it, even though it was written on drugs. he had hallucinations from the movie blade runner and modern society seemed to open up to him and make him a king in his own mind. the only problem was that he was aktually in rehab for going psychotic from doing lots of drugs. this was an unfortunate side effekt of being the kind of guy who smokes crack all the time, and he found taht the best course of action would be 2 make noise music. so he did this and set up a set of speakers 2 blast merzbow in front of the archdiocecese of some city or another. this caused priests 2 roll on the floor in agony clutching a knife and cutting off their pedophile genitals, but only a few boys were saved from being completely groomed and molested by catholic priest guys.
the nuns did not approve, but fortunately crystalbrain had artificial intelligence training on how to deal with nuns with machine guns. was it he that had the machine guns, or the nuns who had the machine guns in taht last sententence? it may have been both because the nuns advanced on him with machine guns and virginity on their minds but he totally wiped out like a squadron of nuns and they were black and white and red all over. this was a monumenental acheivment and he went on 2 become the king of the church for 2 minutes until the national guard arrived, but using telepathetic mind control powers he was able 2 maek the national guard become on his side, so they went rampaging through the cities leik a bunch of methed up guys with machine guns, which they aktually were since he gave them all glass pipes and huge chunks of crystal meth to smoke. anyways they were going 2 taek over whatever city but they ended up having homosexual intercourse instaed. this was expected because dudes with guns aktually want 2 fuck guys in the ass but they're too dumb 2 realize this so they shoot ppl i guess.
crystalbrain wandered the streets liek a manic preacher, telling people the gospel of drugs, but he really had kind of ruined his life because now everyone wanted him dead. so he sort of shifted down into an alternate dimension on the darkweb where there was a metaverse where dudes were selling acid and he met a dude with a bunch of cryptocurrency and they had lots of drugs. so now crystalbrain went into the school playground near the place he grew up and started telling ppl that taking LSD is fun becuz he felt bad about the idea of selling meth to kids so he just sold them acid so they would hallucinate lots of gaping maws of infininity swallowing their minds and sanity in a psychedelic void.
to be continued…
part 3:
doing hard drugs took its toll on crystalbrain but he had magical powers 2 heal his body and mind he got from a ghost in a graveyard. he had stayed up for 4 days and realized that reality was bullshit and that he had the power 2 heal his wounds liek a greek god or something. then he went 2 try 2 stop a train with his bare hands but no matter how much crack he smoked the train always knocked him out of the way. he decided 2 taek a bunch of thermite and melt the railroad tracks on a train in russia and this indeed caused a crash but it wasn't as satisisfying as making it crash by standing in front of it and punching it. he had a vision, a goal in his mind taht he would one day punch a train and it would fly into the sun and burn up. this was a dream he held on to for dear life.
one day he discovered pcp and this was indeed the cure for his ailment of not being abel to punch a train into the sun. he smoked some marijuana that was laced with pcp and suddenly he was the most powerful being in all of eternity and it felt really great. he found a train and punched it so hard that when it hit the sun it caused a solar flair that heated the earth by 10 degrees fairenheight for a couple minutes. if u ever felt hot maybe u were in his reality where this happened (in some other realities he did not succeed in stopping the train and got hit by it and died i guess but this is the good reality we're talking about where crystalbrain punched a train into the sun and maeks NFTs still).
crystalbrain-crown prince mohammed bin salman in the cannabyss 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok, so this crown prince guy is similar to liek some dude in the west who got too involved in reading stupid satanic books and thinks he's some machivellian nietzschean superman but he can't match my powers cuz i destroyed heaven and hell and its all my show man. this guy smokes way too much pot, liek i shouldn't talk becuz half of my time is spent hitting teh crack rock but this dude thinks he's so fuckin edgy because he smokes so much weed. i was liek, "dude, ur teh crown prince, u need to smoke crack liek all teh other world leaders" and he just was liek "huh?" becuz he was so stoned. and i was liek "dude, ur not cool enough yet, here, hit this rock" and he got so cracked up and he was all paranoid from teh weed and coke mixing together and decided to attack yemen…and then he tried to think he was the ultimate edgelord becuz he'd smoked teh crack and he talked about his political manoovering and i'm liek "ok, we get it, ur an asshole, we all are dude, get over it"
i'm not sure what to think of this guy, he needs to grow teh fuck up and worship me, becuz i'm his interdimensional crack dealer who has liek a limitless supply of crack and a huge dong, and he's liek sitting on motherfucking mammoth amounts of oil so i know he can fuckin buy some from me. but then he won't pass teh pipe when u smoke with him, he tries to power trip and starts showing off by liek having a journalist executed blatantly and i'm liek "dude, u r such a fuckin dumbass, real men smoke crack, put that marijuana shit away, its makin u paranoid".
now teh thing about crack cocaine is that smokin a lot of it maeks u reallly paranoid but this guy just talks about how i'm his nietzschean superman when i fuck him in teh ass, as liek an excuse for his homosexuality that he barely conceals with his edgelord wars in yemen and syria. what a fuckin douche, i really hate this guy; i hope his ancestors come to him in a dream and castrate him and he wakes up with no balls, becuz it wouldn't make much difference, this guy already has no balls; he's just givin commands. he doesn't even liek bdsm himself, he just lieks a vanilla assfucking and that's just boring these days, i can't get these dictators to do anything original, it's all "oh, i'll tell my guys to go get these people" and then they give 'em liek a few blowjobs and a few envelopes of cash and boooooom they think they're so cool.
dickhead.
crystalbrain-distortion self NFT 1/1
ur ETHs go here:
ok, so sometimes brains have somethin in them…i dunno what u'd call it, maybe Xtreme Games in the self, like Xtreme sports for the soul if ur believing in a ghost that wants to jump outta its body instead of a brain. BUT if ur believing in a brain, its sometimes woven a tapestry of FUCKING RAGE or something, like that's just melting the self around itself and ur seeing this kind of…just the beginning of it melting itself. its an angry self, that's feeling the kind of rage that is subtle like the sound of a freight train running over a hundred people when ur too far away to hear their screams.
so u just see all this crazy shit, like melting colors and all these emotions get fired up like a cigar in a havana cigar shoppe with a guy that maybe likes castro or not, and it just burns away the self and ur just sort of starting to see it twist and turn like some dumb 60s dance. but u don't see the feelings distorted unless u look real close. are you with me? i'm not so sure i'm with me, becuz of mah anger, but if u are, that's good.
anger kind of makes me want to make jokes about decapitating ppl with a butter knife even though that's hard but that's neither here nor there.
crystalbrain-broken sphere NFT 1/1
send ur ETHs here:
ok, sometimes u have a sphere or somethin i guess; liek think of the 360 dedegree angels around u. i mean angles not angels sorry, fuck that. but u can be liek, ok…everything around me is fucked, theres like a bunch of shit that just don't make sense, maybe becuz u r crazy. it might not be that u r crazy tho, it could be other ppl around u r crazy. so everything is just fucked up liek i said, there's just a broken sphere: 360 degrees of fucked. its just liek broken glass and other dumb shit around u, just annoying stuff.
i guess our sphere is kinda broken maybe? or maybe not; maybe if u were liek schizophrenic ur sphere would be broken, liek just a bunch of crazy shit around u liek a bad acid trip but it just keeps goin on and on. does this sound appeeling? i dunno, i think it could suck; liek u'd just be paranoid i guess because everything is just liek broken glass. i dunno what i'm really talking about, i'm a moron, my sphere might be broken maybe.
get outta my sphere!
crystalbrain-cell illusion
ok, so one time crystalbrain was thinking how other brains have science or biolology classes, and there was this thought like "ok ok, there's mitochondria in ur cells" and then crystalbrain was thinking of how he played on the playstation in his brain with something called parasite eve by a company that made final fantasy 1 through 566 or something, and it was fun to play yes? well, no, crystalbrain didn't get very far in the game, maybe his television simulator sucked or something, but he was strangely satisified with the idea of mitochondria mutating humans into unbelievable monsters that like kick the shit out of and eat humans.
was that the plot of the game? it is not known for sure, yes, crystalbrain thinks it is. and u play as a blonde woman who actually isn't dumb unlike those mean jokes. but she has a gun or something.
what the fuck is the point of all this? well, the idea that there's something within urself that could totally own u at living and transform u into a beast or maybe some kind of freaking cool behemoth is a great idea, like what if they roamed around the countryside just chilling and freaking living like awesome beings that everyone either runs from or thinks they're some kind of gods and they form armies that conquerer the entire galaxy but instead of being mean like the enemies in parasite eve they're just chill?
what the everliving fuck does this have to do with the picture?
like what if mitochondria were actually computer programs that made u look at ur cells like this? i dunno i mean, i'm just an ETH gatherer…yes…
crystalbrain-the treachery of reagan
ok, so ronald reagan was my republican gay sex partner when i was ten and he introduced me 2 teh fine art of smoking crack cocaine before he brainwashed me into victimizing ghettos in america wit the new form of freebase…we would hang out with dictators and the CIA and shit and just be taking huge hits of crack and we got so fuckin high and started talking about platonic philosophy or some bullshit liek that. i dunno, i was born when i was 9 in a TV but ronald reagan was the guy who fucked the TV in the ass and caused it 2 explode. anyways we were in a gay turkish bath and passing a pipe back and forth (it was the pipe u see in the picture) and we were discussing the fine points of enslaving people under a bullshit economic idea called trickle down economics or somethin when george bush walked in and he had this huge quarter rock that was fresh out of the microwave. we passed that baby back and forth and got so fucking coked up on that motherfucker that i actually thought that unsuccessfully voting for him even though i wasn't 18 yet would be a good idea. this was illegal though, much liek smoking crack or having nuns killed in third world countries.
anyways, it was a really good time. there was crack on the streets, the contras had their weapons and training 2 overthrow a democratically elected government, punk rock had already shot its wad, and no one could stop us until i turned traitor because HOLY SHIT these republican dudes are fucking insane! ok, so i stole all the crack i could and decided to go to another dimension where I buried liek $5 million dollars in individual vials of rock in teh arizona desert next to some atari games. i heard they exhumed the games but they totally missed the crack rocks that were liek 10 feet away. what the fuck, people? that's cash money right there. i don't know what to say except that i had a falling out with reagan because he liek got me addicted to crack when i was 10 and that just isn't cool man.
crystalbrain-wings of seven NFT 1/1
send ur 0.034 ETHs here:
what can i say about seven??? it's such a cool number! if u were a man with wings leik an angel or some shit liek that, u would have seven limbs right?? i'm going to say that this picture gives u wings because the salesman who sells crack in my brain said to promise this to my buyers. beware i can't verifify if this is actually true, so DISCLAIMER: i am full of shit possibly but maybe not. but what else can i say about this??? it's green, liek dollar bills i guess, which is kind of a neat thing if ur looking to buy a house or eat or have some fuel for ur rich guy fireplace. so as for the number seven, i can't possibley say enuff good shtuff. yeah the bible has some dumb shit going on in sevens but u can forget about this, because this is a non-christian seven, leik if u were a buddhist and u wanted this seven, u could have it without any of that bowls of gods wrath stuff.
what else can i possilby say about this? it looks liek it grew from an ancient civilization that exists on a leaf or sumthin, i can say that. wouldn't it be cool if ancient civilizations possibly with aliens grew on leaves? i would totally freak out and spooge if that were the case and i'd use my two wings to fly to the moon or something to tell the people on the moon about it. i mean no one on earth would believe me except for those dudes that take too much LSD or mushrooms, but on the moon, I dunno, maybe? or maybe on neptune because its the 7th planet from the sun, that would work cool i guess.
so if u want complicicated patterns in sevens u can totally take out ur ETHs and buy this NFT which i offer to ur brain.
crystalbrain-bull mitosis
[1/1] nft on zora.co (eth)
ok, so i feel like there is a strange, strange, eerie thing about this...like a god of bullshit or something is trying to reproduce his profits after putting his sperm in a bullshit egg. is this acceptable? we have become a society of bullshit, it's not hard to imagine that bullshit itself could be a subject of art. but this isn't just any bullshit, this is a really cool looking fractal representation of bullshit which begs to be traded among investors like the nest egg of a dude who bet all his money on TwatCoin or whatever shit people came up with. Is this acceptable for us who have to live with the financial fallout of a dude with like zero ethics sticking his dick in the ass of an obscene bull? I do not know. What was I even talking about, i have like seventeen psych meds to turn loose like ballerina dancers in my neurons, so pardon me while i take a chill pill. i guess you could say that i have a love-hate relationship with bullshit. it sometimes seems like our universe is made of bullshit, but it is not so, it is only the job of the bullshitters to make u think this so they can make u drink like, mandrake tea or something like that. are you still with me? i'm not still with me...bullshit has won this round.
crystalbrain-kim jong un toilet 1/1 NFT on opensea
ok. so i was in kim jong un's meth lab he uses to ship shit to the yakuza and dennis rodman shows up with like this military garb and he's liek asking kim jong un how he looks and shit. and i'm like, dude, ur in teh wrong place, ur out of ur league, if u get any farther into this shit even van damme isn't going 2 come save u from the can of stalinist whoop-ass that kim jong un is gonna unleash on u. anyways dennis rodman looks liek i hurt his feelings and so i fuckin get give him this bump of 100% pure crystal and he brightens up liek a christmas tree. anyways, i just sort of let him show all these basketball moves that kim jong un's generals pretend 2 be interested in, and then after kim jong un smokes a chunk of ice he's liek ranting and raving about how he's gonna send another bomb flying over japan……into the ocean, just to fuck with them. and he laughs and he gives me this look liek i'm expected to laugh, so i'm pretending to laugh and i can hear the basketball in the other room…it was some serious shit, man.
anyways i ask for some food and he's liek "hell naw, i gave u some meth u don't need 2 eat" liek i'm some kinda dude who just because he's just smoked meth in north korea with kim jong un doesn't need 2 eat. wtf man, i'm liek trying to think of a way 2 get out of there and i'm pissed so i used my telepathetic mind powers and take over kim jong un's mind. then i instruct him 2 put his head in teh toilet and i give him a swirly. his head is all wet and shit and i liek take his pants off and there's leik some serious gay sex going on when dennis rodman comes in teh room with his rod out and i'm liek "dude, can't u see i'm givin the old swirly screw to kim jong un" and he's liek "ok, ok whatever". anyways kim jong un drowned in teh toilet so that was a nuclear crisis averted but the yakuza were pissed becuz they didn't get their meth shipments. however one of kim jong un's body doubles just fuckin started pretendin' 2 be the dear leader again, and i'm liek, "fuck. my work is wasted." but i think this guy doesn't have what it takes 2 be kim jong un becuz he's not a preening sociopath and i think this woman who runs the secret police wants 2 kill him already. we'll see how it goes. anyways i have 2 swim across a river to get 2 china but since i have superpowers it was easy. i even caught a bullet in my teeth and spit it back at a border guard and he flew all the way from china 2 seoul, south korea and all the south koreans were liek "wtf is this dead dude doing here"?
anyways i get into china and i'm liek trying 2 diffuse military tensions between the US and china now, so wish me luck.
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crystalbrain is deadly serious about being contemptibly stupid and also making digital art.
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