Sexual Attraction? You Mean The Thing That Killed Romeo And Juliet?

it's so funny getting into tma after all the episodes came out but BEFORE tmp because i'm so used to being able to binge listen to this gay little horror podcast but now you're telling me i have to WAIT? what the fuck this is torture

not being a Bruce multishipper feels like an insult to the huge whore that this man has built his entire adult life upon being… like wdym you can only see him w one person…? Does the name “Brucie” mean nothing to you?? Has he not proven himself to be an absolute flaming bisexual???? Hold on I… I need to sit down..

i was talking about this with maverick but this line in deadpool 2013 always struck me as interesting:

“fate delivered you to me” seems like an innocuous enough thing (if you ignore the bone breaking happening immediately after) but you have to remember that wade’s concept of a higher power is probably greatly warped by his awareness of a fourth wall. “fate” here is a standin for a literal written-down narrative (and, more broadly, for the writers). fate is a real existing concrete thing for comic book characters, whether they know it or not. it reminds me of this page from legion son of x where david, while not outright addressing the viewers, reprimands a hypothetical author (that he refers to as a god) and audience for condemning him to this by writing and reading on:

anyways. i like the line on its own, but when you examine it through the context of “fourth wall awareness as a substitute for religion”, it becomes way more interesting.

This is probably a hot take but I don't think anybody actually cares who Batman is outside of the GCPD and conspiracy theorists.

When Batman first shows up he's a friggen poltergeist. He's a cryptid. For a second there maybe people thought he was just a creepypasta.

Then when people start to think… actually it kinda seems like he's a guy…? Like, he's a real…? Person…???

Then the GCPD is like, 'Okay, well, then he's breaking laws.'

But your average schmo is like, 'And? Yeah he's a guy; he gave me fifty bucks to get home last night. Right after he saved me from an acid piranha pit.'

But the thing is, Bats has his own personality. He's a whole person as the mask. People don't ask who Superman's secret identity is because, as far as they're concerned, Superman is just Superman, and when they can't see him, it's because he went home. It would be the same with Batman. They probably think he sleeps or hangs upside-down all day.

I think Gothamites like him as Just Batman; he's the city's pet monster, and they like it that way.

I think we get super caught up in the, "Batman's secret identity might be revealed! 😱" because Batman's secret identity is famous. But if someone unmasked Clark or Barry or Hal it would be like

"…I have no idea who this is."

And they expect the same of Batman.

GCPD wants to know so they can arrest him, conspiracy theorists want to know because they wanna know where he fits into the machine, gossip columnists want to know so they can get catch some drama, and real-person fanfic authors wanna know so they can accurately describe him when he takes his mask off to kiss Bruce Wayne.

Me explaining Jason lore to a friend:

Me: So his dad goes to jail and then he takes care of his mom while she's sick and develops addiction but she dies and then he's on the streets, where he's like, starving. But then he tries to steal the wheels of the Batmobile and meets Batman!

Her: oh nice

Me: yeah, after a quick stint in a terrible group home he's taken in by Batman and becomes Robin and he's an absolute sweetheart, he has his issues sometimes but like they're so understandable and he's the cutest! And then he may or may not kill a man after finding the body of his victims who killed herself, and then he finds out his mom wasn't his bio mom so he runs away to find her, but he tells her he's robin and then she betrays him and sells him out the Joker, who brutally beats him up with a crowbar! And then there's a bomb that explodes and he tries to shield his bio mom from the blast! And she still dies! And he also dies! At fifteen years old!

Her: wait what

Me: and then he wakes up in his grave

Her : oh no

Me: and he has to dig himself out.

Her: what

Me: and then he immediately gets hit by a fucking car and is brought to the hospital where he immediately falls into a coma

Her: wtf

Me: and then he's catatonic because of brain damage

Her: ...

Me: It gets worse.

giant millipedes are so freaking cute I need one I love silly bugs ( ´ ▽ ` )

just watched Grian's video from yesterday where he ends it by saying that Cleo is gonna return any second now, but also Cleo just tweeted that they're still a hundred thousand blocks away, which results in the hilarious mental image of permit office!Grian standing in front of a nether portal for fourteen hours, occasionally looking at his watch and saying "aaany second now", entirely unmoving.

Pie Prank Gone Wrong

Beast Boy (holding a cream pie): This is going to be so funny! Cyborg you want in on this?

Cyborg (sipping coffee from a distance): I'm not getting involved. I may be half-machine, but I'm not stupid.

Beast Boy: You're no fun dude. I bet when he gets hit with this pie he'll laugh.

Cyborg (doubtful): Mm-hm.

The door to Titans Headquarters slid open as two men entered, and Beast Boy immediately splattered the pie right into Jason Todd's face. Roy Harper took a few steps back, a mix of amusement and concern on his expression, while Jason stood there, pie still covering his features, unmoving and silent. Cyborg nodded, having anticipated that this was bound to go wrong.

Cyborg (holding up his coffee): Jason, good to see you!

Beast Boy (covering his mouth): Oh shoot, sorry dude! That was meant for Nightwing. Still funny though, right?

Jason wiped the remnants of the pie from his eyes, Roy Harper took a few more steps back, stifling laughter.

Jason (seething): That's real funny, man.

He forced a fake chuckle, still dripping pie filling.

Jason: Roy, can I see your bow and arrow, please?

Roy (hands over his bow): Sure thing!

Jason (still smirking at Beast Boy): You’ve got ten seconds and then I shoot you with these arrows. As a prank!

Beast Boy: You're kidding?

Jason: 10, 9, 8, 7—

Roy (chuckling): You should turn into a bird; this is not going to end well for you.

Beast Boy: On it!

In an instant, Beast Boy transforms into a hawk and flew out the door just as Jason finished counting down.

Jason: 1! Time to hunt!

Jason bolted after Beast Boy, a determined grin on his face while the animal changing hero flew away. Cyborg took another sip of his coffee while staying seated.

Cyborg: I was just here minding my own business.

Roy: Smart choice.

sometimes i'm like fuuuck bruce needs to get a hobby. but he does have a hobby. by god he does have a hobby