The Beautiful Soothing Chirping Of A Geiger Counter

miscellaneous marcien headcanons!

these were requested by @crazy-elf-from-vallenwood​ and are presented in no particular order 💕

They’re somewhere in their late-thirties-early-forties by 4E 1, and Martin is a couple years older but also a few inches shorter (5′5″ versus 5′9″). Lucien thinks their height difference is the most hilarious thing ever. Martin doesn’t find it very funny.

Lucien is gay, Martin is bi. Neither of them have much prior dating experience, but Martin definitely slept around with the Sanguine cult. He was expecting a friends-with-benefits arrangement with Lucien and was totally fine with that, but then, oops, he caught feelings!

Martin was the first to confess, but it was completely by accident… in the heat of the moment, so to speak. You know. While they were otherwise occupied.

Lucien is your classic Casanova flirt and is constantly putting the moves on Martin– sweet talk, pet names, slow dancing, you name it. Martin’s a lot more practical in his affection, though, and likes to show it with lots of little gestures, like breakfast in bed or other cute domestic things.

Lucien is very overprotective of Martin. He’s not jealous or anything, but he tends to assume that every visiting diplomat wants Martin deposed or assassinated or what-have-you. Even when he’s wearing finery around the Imperial Palace, he’s always visibly armed. Just in case! Martin is thankful for it because, after what happened to the rest of his Septim family, he’s honestly a little paranoid too.

Martin is very nostalgic for his rural upbringing and insists on eating traditionally “low-class” food and ingredients at most meals in the Palace; think soup, bread, in-season produce, and overall not a lot of meat. He likes to make his own meals by hand, when he has the time and energy. Lucien is hooked on the luxury of the Palace kitchens, though, and tends to gravitate towards the most expensive dish on the table during banquets, especially fresh meat like rare steaks. Still, he’ll happily eat anything Martin cooks, because Martin’s damn good at it.

Lucien struggles with a rare form of RBF known as Resting Serial Killer Face. Sometimes, when trying to be romantic, he accidentally gives Martin the heebie-jeebies. He’s secretly a little self-conscious about it.

That being said, Martin definitely has a “thing” for assassins, rogues, and other cliché bad-boys. He’s read a good number of romance novels over the years, especially while he was a priest.

Both Lucien and Martin love to get wine-drunk after rough days and tell each other crazy stories about their respective religious backgrounds. You’d be surprised how many hilarious anecdotes Martin has from his time with the Akatosh Chantry.

They each have issues with separation anxiety, and as a result, they’re almost always together. They’re pretty much seen as a package deal by most people, both inside and outside of the Imperial City. Visitors from other provinces have been known to mix their names up whenever they’re dressed equally fancy… “I’m Martin, he’s Lucien!”

Maybe I will become a furry artist who knows

He looks like those scared owls

That moment when the outlander that hired you reads a weird black book

*Noises received serotonin*

before you ask, yes, i AM very mentally ill, and no, i am NOT sorry

What the past couple days have felt like

Mortal in the New Sheoth palace: *stimming by doing flappy hands*

Sheogorath: *spots mortal and gets up, walking towards them* "...." *stands in front of them*

Mortal: ":> ?"

Sheogorath: *starts stimming with them*

Occasionally I see an npc so ungodly cool I’m a little disappointed they aren’t an important character. But in the same vein, I absolutely love how every npc feels like they could be their own main character. Absolutely obsessed with this BARGHEST netrunner.

Hail Sithis!