Cr4shedout - Nya ˚.⋆☾

the universe conspires in my favor. good fortune and positivity have arrived. my dreams are physically unfolding. i deserve prosperity and fulfilment and release any unconscious resistance to this. i have the power to create my reality and this is the reality that i choose; my blessings are abundant and multiplying. i naturally attract the flow of divine riches and welcome the uninterrupted stream of this.

i'm dumb i'm gay and i'm full of love i'm literally the whole package

good emotional skills to know 4 college but also in general

this is stuff that i’ve found helpful and am in the process of working on. they may not be achievable for you without help and may not work for your specific circumstance, but this is a list of suggestions that you might be able to think about. i am also not a mental health professional so please do feel free to contradict me!!

self soothing.  having a toolbox to take care of yourself by yourself. bc sometimes nobody else is available and you just gotta put some lotion on, listen to a tune, and go to bed early. 

checking in. checking in with yourself to see if you’re okay. knowing how to alter your strategies when your strategies aren’t working. knowing when your strategies aren’t working. this is just taking some time every day to reflect on what goals you didn’t meet and why and what you can do to fix that.

there’s nothing you “should” be doing. if you get caught up thinking “i should be doing x” that’s false! stop that! “should” be doing better implies that you have some obligation to do whatever it is that you “should” be doing. you don’t owe anybody except yourself. analyze why you think you should be doing that thing and change that into…. “i want to be doing x because…” or “doing x will make me happier, because…”. overall, more productive and less self-shamey. 

disconnecting from the crowd. eating in a crowded dining hall can be stressful! knowing how to be alone in a crowd and stay calm is helpful

being okay with being alone.  tbh college is kind of… being alone a lot, in my experience. even though you’re surrounded by people, a lot of time is spent alone. making friends is hard. your friends have different schedules. you’re busy. shit sucks. we make the best of it.

knowing yourself. this relates to a lot of what i’ve already said but like. knowing your emotional state and knowing what helps trick the monkey brain is helpful. stop repressing your feelings, friends.

talking to strangers. ordering from a menu! paying library fines. going to office hours. asking for a cashier at the register if there isn’t one. ya this is hard. ya you gotta expose yourself. sometimes i just try playing a persona. like this isn’t me ordering a sandwich. this is a cool me who knows how to talk to people who is ordering a sandwich.

you don’t have to be friends with your roommates. you just have to live together in a way that doesn’t make you two hate each other. ideally, you two will coexist in a way that doesn’t interfere with the other’s daily life.

give and taking. on the topic of roommates, sometimes your roommate can be a shitty person, but sometimes you are the shitty person! give a little but if they’re negatively impacting your life, communicate.

communicating during disagreements. explain what your emotions are instead of blaming them. “i feel hurt when you…” or “i feel frustrated when” or “i feel unappreciated when.” if things get heated, ask if you both can take a ten minute break and then come back. and don’t bring up disagreements when the other party is preoccupied or going somewhere. you can legitimately schedule a discussion.

it’s okay to apologize. learning to swallow your pride gets easier each time.

knowing that people work differently than you. some people are not gonna click with you and it’s gonna seem like they have this whole brain process up there that is totally unlike yours. and yeah! that’s how it is. and that’s chill if they aren’t hurting anyone else. work with them and be flexible!! 

comforting people. you will probably/definitely see someone cry! hell if i know how to comfort people. someone please help. but some things i’ve learned are: 1) different people need different things. different people need different things! 2) people need different things at different times. 3) you can ask them what they want and it won’t be weird. 4) apparently a lot of people like hugs? but ask. and it’s okay to not want a hug. 5) just show that you care in some way if you don’t know what they need. i used to think that if somebody needed to tell me what they needed it was a sign that i just didn’t know them well enough and we weren’t compatible or i wasn’t being a good friend. that’s fake! friendship isn’t based off of fitting naturally in every way and making an effort to be good for them is important.

knowing it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. it’s okay if strangers think you’re dumb because you said something dumb in public. you know you’re not dumb. it’s okay if not everybody you meet likes you. it’s okay if you do something cringey. everybody has their own shit to deal with and you will not shatter their world.  grow and move on!

forgiving yourself. i’m trying this new thing where when i feel embarrassed about something i say. out loud. “i forgive myself.” and then i just try to grow from that and move on without getting caught in a spiral of shame.

knowing what you need vs what you want and what is better at the time. what you need: a shower. what you want: to not do that. solution: take a shower! or maybe what you actually need is to go to sleep? but guess what. you probably know what is good for you. the hard part is actually doing it.

realize that building habits is less work than discipline. emotional effort is expended every time you have to make yourself do something. just make it part of your routine and you’ll just think it’s normal to do all the good things! like, for example, i’m trying to make it a habit to eat structured meals instead of a “eat when i’m hungry” thing because i know that makes me skip meals, which is bad!

you won’t be able to do everything. forgive yourself for that. write down  things that are top priority and focus on them. everything else is not important right now and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to do them.

your health is important. i’m not saying health will solve all your problems. it won’t! but health will cause a lot of your problems to go away. because let’s face it. not sleeping causes a lot of problems. 

it’s okay to ask for help. we say this a lot but it’s hard to internalize it. here’s a thought: there’s so much shame and hesitation about asking for help so by doing that you’re actually being proactive (which is respectable) and mature, and therefore… not weak or stupid. ask for help even before you need it! most people love to help others. and especially take advantage of people who are OFFERING help. for example: counselors at school or TAs. it’s literally their job. they want to do it. and if you don’t want to talk to anybody in real life, my inbox is always open.

how can i lose a lot of weight while still maintaining my diet of exclusively mac and cheese and ice cream?

how do i lose a lot of weight in general lmao

every august without fail is like i will give you some of the most beautiful golden summer moments of your life but also you will be thinking about childhood and loss constantly. it will always be either 5pm or 2am

Before Sunrise (Richard Linklater, 1995)

okayyyyy

Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay.

about periods

they’re the worst

make sure you have Comfy Clothes

heat packs/hot water bottles? absolute essentials

if you don’t have them, lying on ur stomach helps LOADS

if you’re feeling nauseous, the smell of peppermint eases the nausea. no one likes throwing up. if you don’t have an aroma diffuser, drip a few drops of peppermint oil into a cup of water, smell it if you feel like puking

chocolate !!! especially dark chocolate

hot drinks, like soup,,,,, or tea !!! hot tea is so nice during periods, and it has health benefits !!

ice cream is nice but not great for periods :( TEA IS GOOD !!!!!!

this list goes out to anyone who doesn’t have periods as well. if u know someone who has periods, know that cramps are bitches. help them out.

sometimes the nausea gets really bad, but ALWAYS REMEMBER TO EAT REFULAR MEALS. when u wanna puke eating is hard, i understand sweetie but even a snack. not eating makes the nausea worse.

if the cramps get real bad, remember to BREATHE. unclench your jaw, loosen your shoulders and neck, breathe in for 4 seconds, out for 5. repeat.

if there’s someone to rub ur back or play with your hair, ask them to !!

seriously, it feels better

periods are like small demon babies that bloat your stomach for five days and make u feel icky, you deserve someone to rub ur back for ten fucking minutes goddammit

keep hydrating. water, tea, whatevs. but hydrate.

pee regularly, change your pad/tampon regularly. REMEMBER THIS. set reminders if you need to.

play some chill music, watch a sitcom

REMEMBER THE HOT WATER BOTTLE. THAT SHIT IS A LIFESAVER

i’m lying on my stomach as i type this now and i feel the sweet warmth blossoming in my sad bloated stomach where the bad gremlin period baby is hiding

THIS GOES OUT TO PEOPLE WHO DONT’T HAVE PERIODS

THIS GOES OUT TO PEOPLE WHO DONT’T HAVE PERIODS

THIS GOES OUT TO PEOPLE WHO DONT’T HAVE PERIODS

THIS GOES OUT TO PEOPLE WHO DONT’T HAVE PERIODS

THIS GOES OUT TO PEOPLE WHO DONT’T HAVE PERIODS

THIS GOES OUT TO PEOPLE WHO DONT’T HAVE PERIODS

seriously please help us we are but sad uterus-bearing souls haunted by stupid blood babies

please

good luck period-bearers ily all

oh yea if you sleep a certain way (on your stomach, on your side, etc) make sure to adjust your pad so that you won’t leak

borax is good for cleaning period stains

Perhaps she was the one who said,       Turn around.

— Portrait of a Lady on Fire, 2019