AAAAHAHHHHAHHHHHHHHHH?!!!!!!!!!!!❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥🥺❤️‍🔥

Day 4- Accidental Crime

In a better world where Bruce Wayne got to be normal, he would have been an archaeologist.

i am once again begging yall to consider goa born deuce + him growing up as friends w the asl bros…

😂😂😂

Listen. Charlie Slimecicle doesn't have ANY bones, and Missa Sinfonia is ONLY bones. My hypothesis states that if they Power Rangers Mega Morph™ together, they will become the ultimate entity and instantly vaporize the Federation and all who stand in their path. any questions

i hand batman a baby. batman takes the baby. bruce wayne adopts the baby. the baby is introduced to the family. the family is not impressed.

-

Bruce, cooing over his new baby: aw, good evening honey, did you have a nice nap? of course you did, daddy was here the whole time! *proceeds to kiss the baby’s cheek multiple times*

Damian, beside them: *actively bleeding*

Tim: do you feel it now

Tim: do you feel your significance slowly dwindling

Tim: you are a middle child now damian

Tim: do you understand your fate. a middle child, damian. a middle child.

Damian:

Damian, unsheathing his sword: not for long

Before the baby’s Arrival…

Jason, admiring a motorcycle:

Bruce: *buys five*

Jason, glances at a shirt:

Bruce: *buys every color*

Jason: *stomach growls*

Bruce: *books the most expensive restaurant*

After the baby’s Arrival…

Jason: b

Bruce, attentively listening to the baby’s babbling, not even turning his head: hm?

Jason: can i buy this

Bruce, imitating airplanes to feed the baby: sure *tosses card*

Jason:

Jason: im hungry

Bruce, playing peek-a-boo: alfred. kitchen.

Jason:

Jason: *pretends to faint*

Bruce, moves baby away to safey, not sparing him a glance: yes sweetie that’s your brother jay. can you say it? say j-a-y

Baby, giggling, slapping jason’s face: da!

Bruce, gushing in excitement, picking the baby up: da?! did you say dad?! im right here baby! dad’s here!!

Jason:

Jason, still laying on the floor:

Jason, curling up:

Tim, walking by: middle child…the curse of the middle child…

Baby:

Dick: BABY :DD!!

Baby, with Bruce:

Dick: baby :D!

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby:

Dick: baby :)

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child:

Dick: baby :(

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child who just wants to spend time with his dad again because he misses him so much:

Dick: BABY >:[

Cass:

Baby:

Cass:

Baby:

Baby: *cries*

Cass: *narrows eyes*

Baby: *cries louder*

Cass: *hears bruce’s footsteps*

Cass, eyes narrowing again: smart baby

Baby: *stops crying* *smiles* *starts crying again*

Cass: you think dad will pick you?

Cass: *also starts crying*

Bruce, banging the door open, doesnt even notice Cass: BABY

Baby, sniffling, already being rocked in Bruce’s arms:

Baby, making eye contact with Cass:

Cass:

Cass: *starts crying for real*

Jim:

Barbara, glaring at her phone:

Jim:

Jim: haven’t seen bruce around these days…

Barbara: *glares at phone even harder*

Jim: must be busy with his new baby

Barbara: *types furiously while still glaring*

Jim: who knows how long ‘til he visits again

Barbara: *tosses phone out the window and leaves the room*

Duke, leaning against Bruce while playing a game:

Baby, on Bruce’s chest:

Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*

Duke:

Duke, pursing his lips: *picks game back up* *leans against bruce again*

Baby:

Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*

Duke: IS IT ‘CAUSE IM BLACK

Spoiler, tapping her foot impatiently: ugh where is he

Batman, gliding in:

Spoiler: finally! you’re la— IS THAT THE BABY.

Batman, baby strapped to his chest, wearing their own domino mask: …hm.

Spoiler: why. did you bring the baby.

Spoiler: it’s our hang-out day

Spoiler: me and you fighting crime and sitting on rooftops eating bat burgers

Batman, cowl ears drooping: …but the baby…

Spoiler, tears in her eyes: just admit you dont love us anymore!

Spoiler: *runs off*

Batman, in shock:

Spoiler, getting in the batmobile parked nearby: how was that

Red Robin, handing her money: perfect

Robin: tt this had better work

Oracle, watching Batman pace around guiltily through a camera: it will.

Orphan and Red Hood, huddled at the back, both mumbling: he ignored us…his favorites…he ignored…

Nightwing, also mumbling: replaced again…how many more times…

Signal: *snoring*

-

part 2

Zolu drawing based on the fanfic “two idiots, weed and food!” by peensock on ao3

😂😂😂

the whole ghostmaker thing was just a huge divorce arc

Selina Kyle / Catwoman by @/Blu_AJ on Instagram

Ok so I'm going back and reading batman 102-105 for reasons and I.... did we just ignore this when it was first published bc of the gostmaker introduction??

Why am i looking at Bruce's batussy rn DC please respond

Im forgiven for calling bruce my comfort crazy man bc at this point he's Tynion's sexy anime waifu