KING OF MY LIFE

KING OF MY LIFE

All Hail Shresus (Shrimp Jesus)

All hail Shresus (Shrimp Jesus)

@comettingmurder

(Ty to my friend for making this beauty)

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More Posts from Comettingmurder and Others

2 months ago

I think they should make that pre-storm smell into a drug and let me snort it. Or let me scatter it in the air around my neighbor's house and watch him go slowly insane as the sunny days smell like storms and also make him slightly high so he's wrong about the weather all the time


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3 months ago

But what if they're feeling horny

Just saw someone misspell “grind on your bulge” as “grind on your bugle” and got very scared for a minute. Please leave my bugle out of our sexual escapades. I need it to play Reveille or perhaps Taps


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1 month ago

Sometimes, I think about horses.

That's it, that's the post, I just like horses


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2 months ago

Back in my early twenties when I weighed about 90lbs I was always freezing cold. For this reason I wore jackets like an exoskeleton, layering a button up, hoodie, and an outer long wool coat. The upshot of this was always having tons of pockets, in which I carried a vast array of things.

Practical things like my keys, wallet, chapstick, of course. But also less conventional things like stray buttons, paperback books, little toys, nail clippers, and open bags of candy when I offered strangers new acquaintances candy they always said yes which either says they weren’t raised right or I’m more charming than years of being told not to do that.

I really loved my coats but I did sometimes need to move quicker than they allowed. I remember a friend’s utter astonishment when I saw someone I needed to run up to and said hold my coat. He was left holding my carapace and when I returned he couldn’t stop staring. “You’re so small under there, I’ve thought you were a normal person this whole time but it was all coat!”

At the doctors office getting weighed a week or so later I asked if I needed to take off my coat and boots. She said no, and I stepped on the scale. “A hundred and twenty pounds,” she announced.

My eyebrows shot up and I said, “Sorry, hang on.” I shucked my coat and boots to her impatience and stepped back on.

Her eyes widened and she looked back from me to the coat before saying accusingly, “Ninety seven.”

I nodded and redonned my protective carapace.


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2 months ago
Mr. Astley- Mr. Astley I'm Certain Your Cover Is Wonderful-

Mr. Astley- Mr. Astley I'm certain your cover is wonderful-

Unfortunately, I am afraid of clicking anything with your name on it because the song might happen-


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1 month ago

Today in APUSH, we got to the part about Stonewall. In a very conservative town, our teacher is a lesbian who might probably be ex-military. Suffice to say, no shit was taken and I admire her very much.


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2 months ago

Like to STAB

Reblog to STAB AGAIN


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2 months ago

Am talking eyeball

you have to remember that your icon is who's saying your posts


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2 months ago

The science behind why Dr. Pepper is the best

Pepsi Distributed Dr Pepper (on The Left) And Coca-Cola Distributed Dr Pepper (on The Right). Dr. Pepper

Pepsi distributed Dr Pepper (on the left) And Coca-Cola distributed Dr Pepper (on the right). Dr. Pepper isn’t owned by either company, it is it’s own company Keurig Doctor Pepper, BUT they don’t have a bottling facility. In an area, they use whichever bottling facility gives them the best deal. That’s why sometimes it’s Pepsi shaped and sometimes it’s Coke shaped.


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2 months ago

Thank youuu

@gigglesum @ketchup-will-live-through-this @fall1ngawayfromm3 @lucasartsydudeeee15

❤️🌷SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING 🌷❤️💕

tagging my favs : @ver-lecstappen @ellieisque @adutchlover @lestappen-on-top @starrwrrld @randomwordsonpaper @morecomplicatedthancarbon @sharlsbandana @caprifiles @yappielestappie @chock-and-bates @f1writingbyme

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comettingmurder - Cometting Murder
Cometting Murder

he/him, 16 years old, figure out the rest yourself :)

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