U May Be Fooled By My Constant Melancholia And Generally Pathetic State Of Being But Take Heart In Knowing

Public transit be like your bus is due .....now! ........now! .....any second now.......okay now! Just kidding uhh..............now! Okay itll be 17 minutes ☺️ hope that helps. Aw shit we sent the invisible bus again

please want me remote editorial positions please desire me carnally

your honor, i maintain that the prosecution’s video is being played in reverse. in actuality i came upon a village that was already on fire and sucked up all the flames into my special magic wand. i then moonwalked in the wrong direction for some reason

i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

Watterson pulled no punches

oh shit we got december tomorrow…

It's embarrassing and also so damn joyous. I deeply love the discomfort... That is, the dis(covery of )comfort. It brings me great joy getting to know new people and getting to know them better.

early stages of friendship are Soooo embarrassing like yea sorry....... it's me again............ i enjoy talking to you and spending time with you....... you can shoot me point blank if you want i dont mind

Apollo Smintheus:

Poseidon: no no, the "swiss cheese" is a simile here. I'm not actually looking like swiss chee-

Apollo, god of healing: And done! Do you feel any better?

Athena: Yeah, thank you Apollo

*Enter Poseidon, looking like a swiss cheese*

Apollo, god of prophecy: I was waiting for you