White Smoke New Pope

if i woke up as sam i would

UUUGHGHGHHGHHGHG WHY DO VALUES MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

i remember i once had a principal with the last name lopez and she named one of her daughters jennifer and i wonder how that kid is doing now

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

at barnes and noble rn and i can tell you the second i get a job i am spending ALL my disposable income buying books oh my gog

one time I had a dream that I unlocked a secret never-before-discovered achievement in Disco Elysium by squeezing into various nooks and crannies and got a special copotype called “Crevice Cop: seek out and inhabit crevices like some kind of man-spider” and I thought yeah!!! man-spider!!! crevice cop!!! this game GETS me!!!

and then I woke up to find that I had fallen partially down into the gap between my partner’s bed and the wall and was horrifically contorted and in agonizing bodily pain from sleeping in a position only comfortable to a brown recluse

hockey players… lacrosse players… cricket players…

all i said was i like bok choy

callout post for @clangcrunchyeowch he hates biodiversity and is racist towards vegetables

reaganomics was really just the precursor to ‘labubunomics’