This Is So Important Im Canceling My Whole Day

In Too Deep w/ Satoru 18+ NSFW

(best friends to lovers)

You weren’t sure what made you put on the extra bit of lip gloss or the bikini that hugged your curves just right. You even did your hair. Subtle perfume. It wasn’t like this was a date. Just another hangout with Satoru—your best friend, your pain in the ass, the guy who once saw you eat half a pizza in your underwear and still dared to call you “pretty girl”.

The one who’d seen you at your worst—half-asleep with tangled hair and mismatched socks, drunk off two cocktails. The one who you had been through everything with. From the petty arguments about him carelessly hurting himself or that one time when your ex-boyfriend cheated on you and he held you all night as you sobbed into his chest.

So when you stepped through the glass doors to his backyard, and he turned around—lounging poolside like a model in a ridiculous pair of sunglasses and smugness dripping off his grin—why did your heart start hammering in your chest?

“Whoa.” His voice dropped low as he sat up. “You clean up nice.”

You rolled your eyes, heat prickling your skin in places that had nothing to do with the sun. “Oh please. You’re just not used to seeing me put in effort.”

Satoru smirked. “So you did try. Interesting.”

You snorted and dropped your bag, walking past him and feeling his gaze trail behind you like the sunlight on your skin. “Try not to drown in your own ego, ‘Toru.”

But he didn’t stop watching. Even as you slid into the pool, letting the water wash the nerves away, you felt his stare—and something in it had changed.

The water was blissfully cool against your heated skin as you slipped in. Satoru followed with a loud splash, flinging water at you like a kid. It was easy to fall back into the rhythm of your friendship: teasing splashes, random grabs, jokes, the occasional glances that lingered too long. He drifted closer, inch by inch, like the pull of gravity was just stronger between you in the water.

“I didn’t know you were so weak,” he teased as you lunged at him again.

You hooked your arms around his neck with a grin. “I’m conserving my energy, obviously.”

He grinned as he grabbed your waist and pulled you under for a second before bringing you back up, water cascading down both your faces.

Then he started moving toward the deep end—fast. You stiffened the moment you felt your toes lose touch with the bottom.

“Wait—wait, ‘Toru, I can’t—”

He stopped instantly, letting you cling to him, legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. One of his hands slid under your thigh to keep you steady, the other resting warm against your lower back.

“Relax, I’ve got you.” he said softly, eyes uncharacteristically gentle as you clung to him. “You okay?” he asked, softer now.

You nodded, but your voice came out small. “Yeah. Just forgot how deep it gets.”

“Lucky for you,” he said, standing with the water at chest level, “I’m annoyingly tall.”

You snorted, but your laughter faded. You were suddenly hyperaware of how close his body was, how your chest pressed against his, how his strong hands didn’t move an inch too far but definitely not far enough.

“You’re staring,” Satoru’s voice dropped a little, playful still—but something deeper laced beneath it.

“So are you.”

He didn’t answer. The silence stretched, warm and tense.

“I really wanna kiss you,” you broke the silence before you could stop yourself.

Satoru blinked slowly, and then—very deliberately—tilted his head and kissed you.

It wasn’t rushed—not at first. His lips moved over yours like he was memorizing you, like he couldn’t believe you were letting him. Your arms tightened around him, and he groaned softly into your mouth as the kiss deepened, hands sliding under your thighs to hold you tighter.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, half-floating and half-pressed to each other, but eventually, he pulled back just far enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he murmured.

“Then take us somewhere softer to die.”

His laugh was low, rough. Without another word, he started walking—still carrying you, cradled to his chest like you weighed nothing. You blinked, surprised. “You’re really—”

He smirked. “Yup.”

You barely registered the door opening behind his shoulder, the sunlit bedroom welcoming you in. Large windows gave a perfect view of the shimmering pool, your damp skin glistening in the filtered light as he laid you back on his bed, hovering over you with a hunger barely restrained.

Satoru looked down at you like he was seeing heaven.

“I’ve thought about this,” he admitted, voice low. “Too many damn times.”

Your fingers skimmed over his abs, trailing lower. “Then stop thinking.”

His mouth crashed into yours again—hotter now, needy. He tugged the ties of your bikini loose one by one, slow and deliberate, like he wanted to savor every second.

Your back arched as his lips traced a wet path down your neck, teeth grazing your collarbone. He kissed the swell of your breast before taking one nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue until you whimpered beneath him.

“You sound so fucking pretty,” he whispered, switching sides.

His hand dipped beneath your bikini bottoms, fingers finding you soaked and aching. You gasped when he rubbed slow circles over your clit, teasing and light.

“Been wanting you like this for so long,” he murmured. “I can’t believe you’ve been right in front of me, looking at me like that, and I didn’t do anything.”

“Do something now,” you challenged.

He groaned, deep and raw, then sat up to slide your bottoms off completely. You watched as he shed his own swim trunks, his cock already hard, thick and so ready.

He stroked himself once, then leaned over you again, voice a rasp against your ear. “Tell me you want this.”

“I want it. Badly.” you breathed.

He groaned, dragging his cock along your folds before easing in—slow, smooth, thick enough to make your breath catch.

“Shit,” he whispered, burying his face in your neck. “You feel so good.”

And for a while, neither of you said anything—just the sound of skin, breathing, and the creak of the bed under the slow, deep rhythm of his hips.

It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t messy. It was everything you didn’t know you’d needed.

And when you came—clinging to him, legs still wrapped tight like they had been in the pool—he was right there with you, eyes locked on yours, like he didn’t want to miss a second.

“That’s it, baby,” he murmured, kissing you again. “Hold onto me.”

You did. You held him like he was the only thing keeping you from sinking.

And maybe, in a way, he was.

Afterward, he collapsed beside you, dragging you onto his chest, both of you sticky and grinning like idiots.

You traced patterns over his ribs and muttered, “So, uh... still best friends?”

He laughed. “Best friends who do this? Hell yeah.”

You giggled. “You’re ridiculous.”

Gojo kissed your forehead, pulling the sheet over both of you.

“And yet... you keep coming back.”

Quiet Lotus Heart Seeds

how to begin your rebranding journey (self-rebrand tips)

1. start following accounts (like mine🫶) that helps you with your rebrand. whoever you want to become, how you want to live, use social media as a way to constantly be reminded to upgrade yourself. subscribe to youtubers who live how you want to live and those who will help you with what you need help with. you use social media everyday so you might as well use it for a purpose rather than endless scrolling. change it up, it’s okay

2. this kind of goes hand-in-hand with number 1, but change your mental environment. you are the content that you consume. you are the music you listen to, you are the tv shows you watch, you are the social media you follow— all this media is being recorded in your mind. your subconscious mind perceives it as real. think about it: people who listen to sad music are generally always pretty sad. people who watch crime documentaries are usually scared and on high alert 24/7. it’s okay to enjoy your favorite music, tv shows, movies, books, etc., but be careful of how much of it you’re consuming. change it up, it’s okay

3. change your physical environment. redecorate, move, clean, organize, go outside more, do everything you need to do to change your physical environment. this can be as simple as letting in fresh air and sunlight rather than keeping the blinds closed and being in the horrible fake yellow light and air conditioning (unless it’s extreme heat or cold outside.. obviously). maybe try eating out at that restaurant instead of having it delivered. always look to change your environment and surroundings. change it up, it’s okay

4. i suggest doing the steve harvey 300 things list. if you don’t know what it is, you write down 300 things you want for yourself and for your life. read it every morning and every night. pray over it. meditate over it. and work on some of those things. it’s not enough to just read and pray, you have to do the work. feel free to look it up on youtube

5. start working on your goals today. do something. anything. maybe you can only handle one goal at a time. that’s okay. maybe you can work on multiple goals at once, that’s okay too. it’s not a race. do something right after reading this, it’s okay

helpful things to remember:

it's not going to happen overnight, relax

you must enjoy the process and not try to focus so much on just the end result

you're going to have good days and bad days. again, relax

Today’s Mood board

“…but what I like doing best is Nothing.”

“How do you do Nothing?” asked Pooh, after he had wondered for a long time. […]

“It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

— A.A. Milne

Glowing beast

love this!

You’re uncomfortable being by yourself, and it’s ruining your life.

We’re all human beings, and it’s in our nature to crave interaction. To yearn for hour-long talks and constant messages. And this is normal, it’s perfectly fine. We all experience it. 

Problem comes when it reaches a point where you can’t survive without it. When your social media becomes the centre of your life, and you can't stop checking/refreshing/posting in hopes of getting some more of that sweet, fresh interaction. When you can’t sit for 5 minutes without needing to talk to someone.

You’re uncomfortable with being by yourself. Don’t get it? Let me rephrase. You are not able to sit in your own mind and be content. You can’t be alone with your thoughts, and this trouble comes when all your thoughts are inherently negative. When all your thoughts are about how you look, all alone and pathetic. About your appearance or something embarrassing that made you feel bad.

“Aeryne— how do I combat that?”

Well…

Be okay with being boring. Be okay with your thoughts going to “what am I going to have for lunch” or “that movie I watched was really interesting, let’s think about a scene I liked” Be okay with your thoughts being absolutely mundane.

Start observing. I’m sure you’ve seen babies or little children. They give you that thousand yard stare sometimes, because they’re always observing. We live in a life of stimulation, that doesn’t need to be your phone or your social media. Look at the colour of that wall, guess how fast that car is going. Fill up your time with some good old observations.

Get used to the fact that being alone is okay. And that no one else’s thoughts should affect yours. If someone thinks sitting alone = pathetic, loner, disgusting, I think they’re in for a rude awakening that life isn’t a 2005 coming of age movie. 

Now that we’ve changed your mentality a little, let me talk about the beauty of being solitary. The way of being alone.

Being alone, and having “me” time is so wonderful. God- being able to think about myself, and only myself? Not worrying about how my replies sound to others? My tones in speech? Glorious. When you’re alone, you have no one else to appease or listen to. Only yourself, so listen.

Woah- did you realise that? You can actually hear your thoughts. In this world of action, my mind is detached from all that hustle and bustle. There’s no one else’s thoughts or words filling up my logical reasoning. Just my own. 

Treasure your time with yourself. Realise what I’ve told you, apply it and you’re going to be comfortable with being by yourself. Here’s a personal challenge, if you can:

—Turn off all your notifications for an hour.

—Observe your surroundings.

—Listen to the thoughts, appreciate them.

thank you for listening, sweet ones.

xoxo,

Saint Aeryne