Chocolatechipcookiez - Chocolate Chip COOKIEZ

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

me: tries to do geometry

my brain: I don't understand

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

Frog and cranberries it must be fall.

Yael Grobglas as Petra Solano on Jane the Virgin (2014-2019)

damn right *finger guns*

Social anxiety problems