Literally Frank Makes Music For The Messy, For All Of Us Caught Desperately And Breathlessly In Needing

Good morning, you have to be the thing that saves you

Awhile ago @ouidamforeman made this post:

This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...

It. It kind of fucks. Severely.

And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.

I'll explain:

As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.

Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.

(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)

Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:

"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." --Genesis 3:24, KJV

Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.

(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.

...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)

So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.

But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:

The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.

Do you understand?

The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.

The flaming sword was given to be used against them.

So. Again. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell lures it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.

That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.

...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.

They're Crowley and Aziraphale.

(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)

In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.

It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.

...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.

And the Serpent--

(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)

--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.

As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:

"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." --Robert G. Ingersoll

The first to ask questions.

Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).

And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.

And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--

(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)

--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.

To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.

Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel, and it's ~forbidden. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.

It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.

And then you keep writing.

And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.

(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).

It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)

...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:

I love this shot so much.

Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.

You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.

"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every single human being. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.

But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.

Godfathers. Sort of.

i just need to grow my hair out -> i just need to cut my hair -> i just need to grow my hair out -> j just need to cut my hair

❝ And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one… that I suspect would hurt something awful. ❞

[VISIBLY ABOUT TO START GNAWING MY OWN LEG OFF] no yeah haha i love change :)

"Men would come. Men would threaten. Aziraphale would nod and smile and say that he’d think about [their suggestions]. And then they’d go away. And they’d never come back. Just because you’re an angel doesn’t mean you have to be a fool.”

Masterpost here.

Crowley here.

Book!Aziraphale was the one to suggest killing Adam. He did not bother reviving the dead dove in his sleeve, so Crowley did. He does have some inner conflict regarding his beliefs, but more subtle. Regularly spends evenings talking human nature, God, Divine Plan with Crowley. He is practical to the point of cruelty.

TV!Aziraphale always seemed softer, more manipulative than direct, and more nervous. He looks so soft and smitten towards Crowley, or thirsty af, that the image of softness stays. But what is there really? Besides that visceral feeling when he did not restrain himself, and devoured an ox.

We got stern Aziraphale when he made Crowley dance for him. And like shown at the top of this post. His demeanor opposing Furfur was a bit nervous at times, but he refused to back down even a little.

He was willing to protect Gabriel the Asshole. I wouldn't have blamed him if he had shoved Gabriel in the trunk and dumped him somewhere. But Aziraphale is a Guardian.

He is not close with humans. He couldn't give a shit about the people in the shops around him on a personal level. He'll protect them, but only really socialises with them when he has to. Or needs them as set dressing during an Eldritch Ball. I love that about him, he protects because it is the right thing to do.

He is more direct. Season 1 he'd play coy so Crowley would miracle away paint stains. Now he claims the Bentley for a roadtrip. I can't find a good gif, but we see him having trouble restraining himself at times when he's standing between the humans inside and the demons outside.

The Job minisode showed us he's been having doubts for a very long time. Not only about Heaven, about God. "I don't think God wants you to do this." Only to later hear God give a demeaning lecture to Job. Those seeds of doubt will blossom in Heaven.

We see Crowley taking pride in seeing his angel silencing a room of angels and demons. We see Crowley impressed when he heard Aziraphale did the thing with the halo. We saw how he looked when Aziraphale was gorging on flesh unrestrained.

How will he look when he sees Aziraphale, standing between Heaven/Hell and humanity? Determined fury in his eyes and blade in hand. Aziraphale guarding his world. His bookshop. His demon.

Crowley seeing his angel, completely prepared to kill God if that's what it takes to keep them safe.

oh teehee I’m in a silly goofy mood (I am hanging on by a fucking thread)

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

something something isaac lahey losing his older brother as a kid and derek hale also losing his siblings, older and younger. isaac staying loyal to derek long past the point that he probably should've only to ultimately be kicked out by derek very shortly after derek got his actual younger sister back, after directly using isaac as a tool to find her. the show trying to imply that isaac was romantically interested in cora but doing such a half assed job at it that it's both possible and objectively more interesting to interpret his curiosity about her as some kind of jealousy. is this anything?