I Hope In My Next Incarnation I'm Reborn As A Protagonist From A Dostoyevsky Novel

OH MY LORD

Sometimes I wonder how my brain works

"I need to be a child again" *cue war flashbacks to my childhood* "oh shit nevermind"

Call me Snoop dog the way the standards I set for myself are so fucking high

Sure she's prettier but will she make you feel violently uncomfortable? Is she the humanoid spectre that shows up in your nightmares?? Will she bake you brownies that are laced with her blood??? Will she take a bite out of your shoulder while you two are cuddling???? Will she convince you to peel off your skin layer by layer like an onion because it just doesn't sit right on your body????? Will she conceive and give birth to the Antichrist????? When you die, will she plant your corpse into the soil like a seed so that you'll flourish into a beautiful tree and bear fruit that she can savour in her decadent little fruit salad?????? Is she the human incarnation of one of the seven deadly sins???????? DOES SHE NOT EXIST????? No????????? Exactly.

Not me yapping to my audience of 0 people

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I need to be the most beautiful girl someone's ever seen I need to be brought flowers on dates I need to cry into someone's arms and I need to be held through the storm until the tears blow over I need to be seen and heard and treasured I need to be touched I need to be cradled I need to be kissed and worshipped and romanced and sexualized I need someone to kill for me and set the world on fire to keep me warm and offer to do the dishes for me despite my insistence I need someone to bring me tea and ibuprofen when I'm on my period I need someone to mourn and rage and weep and be weak with me I need to be ineffably valued I need someone to listen and understand or try to understand even if they can't I need to be someone's one and only even through the worst of the worst and the lowest of lows I need someone to tell me stories to take me away from the horrors I need someone to love me and love me and love me and love me even though they don't have to. SOMEONE PLEASE JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

*RIPS OUT MY HAIR* there's nothing like the fulfillment of creation!! *RAMS MY HEAD INTO THE WALL*

searching for some fyodor dostoevsky content but im met with some ugly ass anime guy with a fuck ass bob cut

Thinking about this :(