Instead Of Santa Giving Me Gifts This Year Can He Take My Tiddies Instead Plz

I haven’t slept in three days.

I’ve been working around the clock to back up over a petabyte of research data and records and articles from the National Library of Medicine before it gets attacked by that elongated dipstick and his gestapo squad. Trying to get copies of every federal research program’s data before it gets destroyed in the crossfire. I hope to God that it won’t, but I have no confidence that it will be safe. Lots of copies keep stuff safe.

Odysseus said he was gonna become the monster to "everyone but us" but neglected to inform his crew that "us" had three members and the other two are in Ithica.

Don't worry, no one in our family is [REDACTED]

God I fucking love all of these wtf

I HAVENT SEEN ENOUGH PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS WTF HELP

did dan and phil just refernce the hat fic i want to fucking cry!?!

affirmations

i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature

i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths

i am building a machine greater than myself

i am able to make phone calls and appointments

let your feelings slip boy

but never your mask boy

Anyone else sometimes get really high and start considering other pronouns? Anyone? No, just me then.....

END ME NOW!!!!

This deserves so many more notes