Bro Got Up And Skedaddled

I think vampires went extinct because of how fucked everyone eats, extra strength Tylenol,weed,caffeine, enough sugar to drop a horse ect

Could you imagine when they invented "the pink stuff" and it didn't have its dye yet, like they didn't have the budget and it was called "the white stuff" but one dude was like "lol cum scrub" and then they had to put pink dye in it and all of then where like "God fucking dame it jarry we can't call it cum scrub! You got the the WHOLE MEETING CHANTING FUCKING, CUM. SCRUB."

Herobrine ass

G1 Transformers becomes a lot more unsettling to watch when you take into consideration that all the animation errors are canon.

An odd flex I have is that I can sleep comfortably with any part of my body peeking over or over the side of my bed no blanket with jeans on and no pillow

A FROG BROKE INTO MY HOUSE

we had him in a Tupperware for the night and this morning I pimped him out in a giant storage container

(The enclosure is supposed to be pretty bare, apparently that's how they like it) I threw a starfish in there for ✨decor🙌✨ and I guess I'm going to have to hunt for bugs now. I'm open to names.

I'm making this my new catchphrase now, watch out grandma

I drew peach as a prostitute, because she would probably get voted out of office or something, for like tax fraud, then goes homeless

Not being straight is in its self hell fire, and I am a moth zigzaging through the air tords the flame.

I absolutely cannot deliver food, one bad day I'm just takeing it.

signs here in Florida, one I encountered the other day while fishing, never fails to make me smile