I’m not depressed. I don’t think I’m depressed. I don’t feel depressed.
So why does everything point to me being depressed? I can’t even keep up a personal blog, which kinda sucks :/
Recently, I stumbled upon a little text-adventure game that pretty much summed up how I was feeling for the last two years or so- I can definitely turn my life around, but I just don’t. Maybe it’s a choice. Maybe it’s something I can’t control. Who knows. I blame laziness, mostly, but I’d suppose that’s a bandaid on the entire situation. I’m probably just a coward for responsibility. Here’s the game, by the way: http://www.depressionquest.com/dqfinal.html
I guess I do have my moments where everything feels like it’ll turn around and I’ll have a completely new life and all that, but I don’t think I’ve ever followed through. Sure, I definitely can make things better, but sometimes things just don’t work out.
Hope I can do what it takes, though- I’m really banking on the hope I can clean up my own mess and pick up my slack. Being able to make choices for myself I like, having the energy to accomplish simple tasks like doing my homework and agreeing to go out with my friends. It sounds so wonderful to live without this barrier. Please, please, please. God, I just need this one wish. I’d absolutely love to live with energy and the ability to go out and do what I want to, what’s good for me- God, please, I’m sorry I didn’t have faith, I just need this one thing. Please help me out, please listen to my prayers now. I’m sorry. I really want to live without this.
When I lose my extra weight and get a work habit and rearrange my room and get energy and work more it's over for everybody
the cure to all sadness is indulging is nostalgic content nobody can prove me otherwise
I’m really behind. I’m very much in deep water. I’ve got a bio exam in May, a 120-hour school project is going to finish at the end of the term, I’ve got a ton of French work to do- I’m in a froggy pot, and the water’s already well past boiling.
Not now, not now- I knew this past break has been a little extra good to me. What do I do now? What’s going to happen? At least I still have time to get myself in order. I need to prioritize, but so much of what I need to do needs strict focus and a ton of time. What do I even do? I don’t know what else I’m missing. What else has gone forgotten? Why do I always drop the ball at the end? Why do I always give up?
Will I have to put my new life aside to sink back into this? What do I do? Oh god, oh lord. I’m really scared. But I do have time. I have more time than I did in the past when procrastinating. I’ve got a little bit of a grip on this, I think.
There's a cute café near the arcade that's licensed to sell both Uji and Yamabuki matcha, so I took Sen there. We got a crème-brûlée flavoured mille-crepe cake and an oreo parfait to share, while Sen got his matcha and I enjoyed a warm hot chocolate.
It felt like forever since we last met up, so I couldn't be more thankful that we're seeing each other tomorrow, too. He really likes that tendon place near my house, so maybe I can treat him? Or should we could go get curry, as it's really satiating, and can also come with tempura..? I'm not sure...
Good luck on ur examn !! 🙏
Thank you!!! Once this is all over, I can finally hole up in my room and play games forever...
Any recommendations on fun hobbies/things to do during the break? I want to start filling out my days so they don't blend together as much... (ŏ﹏ŏ。;) Hopefully...
Though I don't like the sun, I miss when the days were warmer
HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy
So many plans made for after finals, but no idea how to get through said finals.
Can't I just skip to the part where I go to karaoke, skating, and cafe hopping? December 13th seems so far away...
My new friend group makes me so happy. We're all so cute together-- Four girls from different regions all over East Asia, somehow meeting in one class in Vancouver. Hanging out with them feels like I'm living in a webcomic. It'll be fun to spend more time with them, once we're through everything...
A mocha for the coming midterms... Let's hope it all goes well.