Fuck It, Schedule Game Sessions For Dates No-one Can Make. Might As Well Cut Out The Middle Man

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

POV: you're a bug

the way my jaw dropped at this bit

I woke up to this thought? And it made me smile~

Wrong way Au?

It's EASY to fly from point A to point B. Linear. Just on long, no traffic, straight line. And if you get lost? Go higher! There you are! But "normal" reporter families with Totally Human genetics can't exactly DO that.

Plus? It's part of the whole Americana thing!

Childhood.

Gotta do a road trip, see weird road side attractions, camp and hike a bit. Go somewhere other then the farm for once. Soooo~ everyone into the car! Yes, you too, Kon.

And don't look at Lois, kids. She hates this idea as much as you do. But it's for Dad. So we're doing it. Get in the car. Some times loving people means "suuuure, honey! I TOTALLY want to sit in an uncomfortable car for hours for your nostalgic dream trip!", so get comfy.

Problem is? He either can't navigate for SHIT (unlikely) or this patch of nowhere? Possibly haunted? Cursed? Fuckey. Very, very Reality Fuckey. Far more likely, honestly. They THINK that was the a same barn the passed four times now... but it looks... wrong? Off. Worse each time, in ways that are hard to place.

Where the FUCK are they Clark?

According to the GPS?

Here.

(You are Here. You are Here. You are He-)

Oh, THAT'S not cursed! She fucking KNEW they shouldn't have left the city. FUCK the countryside. She likes ONE(1) small town and it's where her in-laws live, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! If they die, she swear to GOD-!!!

Then Jon points to colorful tents up the road. A mix of the kind you buy at big box stores and Ren fairs. Balloons. What the fuuuuuck? "Fenton Family Reunion"?

Was... was that THERE a second ago?

Clark's very deliberate Not Too Tight Grip Of Panic ™ on the steering wheel? Confirms that No Honey, it was not. Kon points out? That eventually they ARE going to run out of gas. They should stop.

Words can not express how little the Kents want to do that. They have KIDS to protect. This feels "magical fuckery" to them. AKA? One of the few things Kryptonians very much CAN NOT handle.

And luck getting ahold of anybody back there kids? No? Emergency lines too?

Fuck ™.

Okay! Guess we're stopping! Stay behind us.

They park.

There are campers and trucks, modified tanks and trackers. A few horses grazing side by side with an honest to God moose and two mules. A Llama. Someone's anchored a dirigible. A boat with spindly chicken footed legs, like it's the house of baba yaga's sea faring love child. The name Fenton is slapped on everything. Peoples faces.

Grinning.

Everything grinning.

As they get closer, the racket gets louder. Crashes and smashes. Roaring laughter. Explosions. The screech of metal failing and the whine of energy overclocked. Fatty meats cooking. Spices from around the globe. Radios and instruments, at least one of which violently cuts off in a smash.

They pass an almost violently balloon choked arch, into chaos.

Grinning giants, everywhere. Every color, every shade, every race imaginable. The spectrum of humanity laid bare. Made large. Grinning, Grinning, Grinning. Crashing into each other, against, through. Smashing and laughing, as everything breaks around them. Titans.

Darting underfoot, children. Fast with wild eyes. Mad grins and fae laughs. Wives and husband's, partners and friends, dancing in and out of the chaos. Just as destructive. Perhaps MORE so. Grabbing meals from grills, laughing and joking, tossing children into the fray, all as they effortless hold conversations of their own.

Like a Dionysian revelry, all madness and joy.

Then they are noticed.

"Cousin!"

One of them booms. Locking eyes on Clark. He doesn't even have time to move, doesn't realize until too late, in all the chaos, that the man meant HIM. A running start is followed by a brutal, full body, flying tackle. Clark is taken skidding to the ground and into a headlock.

"LETS WRASTLE~!!"

He watches in helpless confusion as, with high-pitched war cries, a pair of twins jump Jon. They are wearing war paint. Krypto already taken out by a glowing green dog, now confused and wrestling off to the side. Lois has whipped out her tazer. Kon between her and who ever comes next.

By the time he wrestle his "cousin" off of him, he's lost sight of them both.

Dives into the fray.

Magic be damned, that's his FAMILY!

It... It's the most fun he's had in years. That any of them have. He finds Lois in a breathless, screaming, debate/fistfight with her new best friend. Samantha "call me Sam Or ELSE" Manson-Fouley-Fenton. Kon is in the mud pit, wrestling other teenagers in some sort of battle Royale. Jon? Has become king of the ferals. The other parents are impressed.

His years of Damian wrangling finally paying dividends, apparently.

By the time Clark FINALLY tracks down Krypto, there is already crowd and it apparently six heel turns deep into the WWE Grand Saga of the Fenton Pet's League. Krypto, what the hell. No. No you may NOT "form one last alliance against my sworn wrestling enemy, to prove the true meaning of Christmas!" It's the middle of SUMMER!

Clark... Clark is so tired.

He's also a Fenton now. Yes, he KNOWS that's not how anything works. YOU try explaining that! He's on the call list and card list. It's like the Addams family out here! They just... just DECIDED him and his family were related! They've apparently DONE THAT BEFORE!

They leave with directions, fudge, more leftovers then anyone could possibly eat, and a massive new extended family. One that honestly? The Justice League SHOULD have known about. The sheer destructive chaos they get up too? EVERYONE should be aware of them. It seems impossible NOT to be! But? According to THEM, it's a "family thing". Reality tries to ignore them for "it's own sanity"? What???

So yeah.... no more road trips.

How was YOUR weekend?

@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @lolottes @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation

Loved By Time

Part 2

"H-hi, um—crap... I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne. Uh... It's nice to meet you. My name's Danny— wait, shit— you probably already know that."

It was an odd first impression, to say the least. The boy in front of him is an open book; quite obviously nervous and uncomfortable. Black hair with white covering nearly the bottom half that doesn't look dyed, light blue eyes, and a telltale of a wide scar right below his left eye, making the skin lighter than the rest of his otherwise tan skin.

Bruce in turn chuckles kindly at him, shaking his head. There was only him currently in Gotham; all of his kids were still dispatched elsewhere so Danny had time to adjust to the new environment. He reassures the boy that he's fine— that he'll fit right in and, in truth, he was somewhat right.

Dick, Steph, and Duke were the first ones to greet him; giving the boy quite a scare. He had met with Tim not long after, surprising the latter on brief comments about his works.

The strange things about Danny started when he met Duke. The two had started off great; they both introduced themselves kindly and shook hands. But something must've happened while they shook—because Duke's face had paled slightly as his eyes widen. Danny must've noticed; because the boy himself immediately placed a hand to cover Duke's eyes, whispering something in a rush.

“Don't— I know you can see it. Don't look at it. Don't look at me in the eyes. Don't say anything.”

He then met Jason and Damian.

Something must've snapped within the two, because the next thing anyone knew, the two had practically lunged at him.

Bruce had no time to react.

No one had time to react.

No one had time to react when a large, eldritch abomination of a knight loomed over Danny's figure, caging him within one of it's arm. A large greatsword was drawn, pointing at Jason and Damian who abruptly froze, ready to strike the moment they move even an inch.

A silence engulfed the manor as their eyes all widen in horror; the only thing audible being Danny's heart rattling within his ribcage and his heavy breathing mixed with wheezing, clear panic etched in the way his breathing didn't seem consistent.

"Do not. Touch. The child."

&—

Read: Part 1

Valerie Gray gets a Security Job in Gotham

So, basically, Valerie's dad gets a new high paying Security Job at Wayne Tech, and he decides to bring his daughter into the Business since she can use her Red Huntress Skills

Not like she's gonna have much use for them, Phantom managed to establish a peace treaty between the Ghost Zone and Amity Park, so now there's no need for a Professional Ghost Hunter/Hero.

Also, she kind of needs to get away from that period in her life, and maybe move on from her breakup with Danny (and the argument that happened after the reveal)

So Val applies for the Wayne Tech Job alongside her dad, and during the Interview she manages to reveal most of her secrets, by the virtue of the face that she doesn't really care anymore. Not like it matters at all.

...

Interviewer: So, do you have any reverent work experience?

Val: I'm a retired successful Superhero from Illinois, Red Huntress, and I managed to fight off multiple Other Dimensional beings during that time. I also have experience traversing dimensions if that's helpful.

Interviewer: Uh...

...

Interviewer: How do you feel about fighting super-powered Villains once a week?

Val: Please, those guys are cool and all, but many of the Ghosts I've fought have the same powers but dialed up to eleven.

Interviewer: OK, gonna have to look that one up later...

...

Interviewer: How would you deal with attempted Theft by a Super-powered Rouge?

Val: Aim for the knees.

Interviewer: Can you elaborate?

Val: Aim for the Knees. Then the [REDACTED]

Interviewer: Remind me not to get on your bad side...

...

Inrerviewer: How do you feel about potentially/probably dying on the job?

Val: Basically everybody in my town is so Ecto-Iradiated to an absurd extent. If I got killed I would just become a Ghost and be back in by Monday.

Interviewer: OK that's just ridiculous

Val: My Ex's dog, Cujo, was killed while working as a Security dog, and came back to work the next week. If he can do that, I can do the same.

...

Interviewer: *pulls off fake Groucho Marks glasses to reveal Tim Drake* I regret deciding to review this batch myself.

you know what really gets my goat?

starting to suspect that tech bros actually just don’t know what reading is

DcxDp prompts

2/4

Danny Fenton, a new student at Gotham University, is 100% going to be a villain. Everyone knows it. The teachers, the students, even the dean knew that Fenton was destined to become a terrifying rogue. They all also were going to delay it as much as possible.

No one ever picked on Fenton, and any bullied kid quickly learned to flock to him, and he’d protect them. The teachers and RAs learned to turn a blind eye to the explosions from the student labs, and anytime Fenton had trouble in class, his friends quickly helped him understand so he wouldn’t get upset.(teachers debated on just marking everything correct, but they didn’t know if that would offend him more)

Everyone knew Fenton was a tragedy away from becoming the next Gotham Rogue, and given how he managed to build a rocket launcher for paint ball with half an hour, no one wanted to know what he would do with real anger behind him.

Danny loved his new school! Everyone was really nice to him. His friends were always willing to help him when he needed it, and always hyped him up. The teachers were always nice to him, and no one bothered him when he was inventing. The best part was no one bullied him! He loved Gotham.

His only concern was why his classmates got so pale when he talked about the local villains.