Listening To Music Like Holy Fuckkk Thas Sounds

Why am I the funniest at the buttfuck of dawn??

making any post about dc comics is just. i have to word this carefully lest i be misinterpreted and my corpse dragged around troy behind a chariot

Translation: WHAT?!? You egg!!

Dragons are extraordinarily good mimics, escaping human predation by disguising themselves as common airliners, some even going so far as to sport crude copies of carrier logos. This makes them difficult to track, though most sources agree that the dragon population is critically endangered.

While there has been some success with halting large-scale dragon hunting, conservationists are still concerned about a recent spate of crashes in otherwise healthy adults.

Given that dragons communicate via radio signals and that most crashes occur near military radar stations, it is theorized that the radar may be disorienting the dragons. Investigations are still ongoing.

Can we talk about how if jason and jazz got married and had a family (most of their kids would prolly be adopted), jazz would be the super successful breadwinner of the family and jason would perfectly fill the role of domestic housewife. He would mother hen SO HARD and he would love every minute of it. Three of his kids would climb him like a jungle gym while he did house chores like vacuuming and dishes and he would unironically drive a minivan everywhere. Jason = ideal housewife plz and ty

Jason? Housewife? I mean I can tell where you’re coming from fanon version of the guy but if you wanna do comic version of Jason, the dude would rather help Bruce on a mission than stay at home all day. Let me see what I can do because I mostly know Jason from when he was straight up a villain in comics.

Ok so he never really had a good father figure that shows what a dads meant to do. All of the stuff he knows is from asking friends on what to do, parenting books, Alfred, and books he’s read as a kid. Jason would be positively floundering with raising a bunch of kids at first. He’s good with kids so he does that just fine but dealing with kids for a long period of time? That takes some work. He doesn’t know what a normal kid is meant to do and what he can tell them. He grew up on Crime Alley and then became a billionaires ward. That’s quite the wild childhood living situation. What age do kids normally learn how to cook? How to lie? How to defend themselves? What are normal hobbies people have? All of these questions just swirl in Jason’s brain as he does his best to give his kids a normal life.

Jazz is the breadwinner while Jason is getting a solid 40% cut from mobs in his territory? I’d love a job that pays that much. I don’t think she’d be the breadwinner but Jazz definitely does a normal 9-5 job while Jason does stuff more at night. Jason staying with their kids during the day while Jazz is out of the house makes sense in that case. He spoils the hell out of his kids. He’s a massive pushover and does everything be can to prevent his kids from turning out like him.

He absolutely wouldn’t fit into your stereotypical role of housewife stuff. Still, imagining a 6ft tall 225lbs man of pure muscle and scars taking his kids to a local park and sitting on a park bench watching his kids run around and play while absentmindedly flipping a butterfly knife open and closed at incredible speed. Or threatening a kid who’s bullying his child with a whole ass Glock and then instantly switching to caring for his kid who got punched and checking them for injuries is some lovely mental imagery.

Additionally: Jason going to parent teacher conferences and forcing the school to implement disability accommodations classes for the teachers because one of his kids slightly mentioned that his teacher didn’t let him have extra time to work on his test like they should have. Casually cleaning his teeth with one of the scariest fucking knives you’ve ever seen while meeting with one of his kids friends parents. Bullying the principal to invite a mystery guest speaker to his kids schools for an Anti Drug PSA and low and behold, Red Hood walks into the school gymnasium and does a fucking incredible one man play and an almost poetic speech on the effects of drugs and how it can impact your families.

When his kids realize that they can simply climb on him and he doesn’t mind their weight they start doing it constantly. They scramble up his legs onto his shoulders and just sit there while Jason cooks dinner. The only sign that Jason acknowledges the kids presence is to warn them to not put their feet near the stove and to ruffle their hair when they get settled on his shoulders.

Jason not only has a mini van, it’s one of the most decked out mini vans to ever exist. This thing is built like a covert batmobile. You could take on an army of tanks with this car but he simply uses it to weave around traffic like a madman driving his kid to ice skating school.

Jason absolutely isn’t the ideal housewife but he’s a housewife that you Do Not wish to fuck with. You touch his kids and that’s the last thing you’ll ever do.

for my birthday this year, my friends and i did a drunk photo competition portraying norse legends. the rules were simple: after you pull a random prompt, you have 10 minutes to create the picture with household items. while shitfaced of course.

anyway, here is my team's low budget rendition of jörmungandr rising from the sea during ragnarök.

featuring me as the head of the sea serpent (left) and my brother as loki (right)

Hdgnj DPXDC Masterlist

Fanart

My favourite Posts

My prompts/asks

Short DPXDC Prompts #567

Danny possesses one of the many Bats in the Batcave and the Batfam, completely unaware that this bat is actually a whole ass person, just treat Danny as a strangely human acclimated bat that they see as a pet.

I feel like my life is like writing a sign and having to make the letters smaller each time because I did not plan and there is nO ROOM

foldingfacets DPxDC fic masterlist

Multi-Chaptered Fics

Bus to Nowhere I Just Wanna Talk Life Alert (PeePaw, please, I'm begging) Death Throes (Danny/Grundy - Dandy) Break-Ins At Three, Breakthroughs At Four (Jazz/Jason - Anger Management) Several Degrees of History (Lancer/Clark/Slade - Banned Books) Hopeful Life of Death (mind the tags) Partially Temporal, Partially Temperamental Caught Before The Fall (mind the tags - Dick/Clockwork - Golden Age) Brides, Birds, and Batshit Family Matters (Wives Fic)

One Shots

Our Love Will Last Us (mind the tags - Dani/Mar'i - Space Princess) Gotham Circusa - Wait, That's Not It (Dick/Danny - Green Elephant) Catching Snowflakes With Your Tongue (Bizarro/Klemper - Playdate) Peace, Quiet, and Another God Damn Superhero (Lancer/Clark - Literacy) Can't Hack My Heart (Roy/Tucker/Skulker - Technical Experts) Scavenged My Love Among The Ruins (mind the tags - Bart/Dan - Doomed Timelines) Lightning Through My Neck, And I've Found You (Danny/Grundy - Dandy)

Series

foldingfacets DPxDC Ship Week 2023 Break-Ins At Three, Breakthroughs At Four (mind the tags)