It's Not Glamorous, But It's Also Not Honest Work, And Nobody Needs To Do It

Actual 9 year old Dick Grayson, strapped into his booster seat, currently throwing a fit in the Batmobile because he ate all the elephants out of his animal crackers, “Zitka nooooooo!”

Batman, 22 year old new father, on the phone with Alfred because he has no idea if this is normal or trauma, “whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoidohewontstopcryinghelpmeplease”

the "canon isn't real we make our own rules" to "i am begging you people to revisit the source material" pipeline

when your crime lord son has glow in the dark eyes

lock the fuck in?? no way dude. I am TUCKED the fuck in :) good night

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Bruce is at a gala, okay, and he’s talking to a woman.

Random woman: “And we found out that we’re having another child!”

Bruce: *absolutely cackling inside, because this is about to be the funniest thing he’s done in weeks*

Brucie: “That’s wonderful! Where are they? Can I meet them? How old are they?”

Now Brucie is standing there, scanning the room for children with a huge grin on his face, while all of the random rich people stand around like ‘who’s going to explain to the adorable, well-meaning idiot that most people know they’re going to have children a few months before the children are born.’

And worse, who’s going to have to break the news to him that he can’t meet the kid today?

Because this man… this man has acquired all of his children with zero premeditation. Yes, he does have a bio kid, but that one showed up on his doorstep as a preteen. He did even less acquiring with that one than with the others.

Bruce has a blast acting out his disappointment, and has to turn some so that he can no longer see Tim and Cass leaning against each other and laughing, because otherwise he’s going to start laughing.

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

Stupid thing I thought of drawing ages ago when I was watching fruit basket

Learning that Jason was Red Robin first (during Countdown to Final Crisis) and that Tim actually stole that name and costume has made my entire week. Honest to god Tim Drake is the funniest character of all time. Imagine getting your ass beat for stealing from a guy and then doing it again anyway, top-tier character choice. I think he should take Red Hood next.