HAPPINESS BIRTHYEAR

at this point my digital footprint isn't even a footprint anymore it's a digital landmark 😔

Would you get a LOOOOOOOW TAPER FADE?

it doesn’t match my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 so no

i love sacabambaspis they look so silly

it looks like you wanted to make a choice after all. well, this one is yours.

late night doodle of stanley and the coolest bucket to ever exist

I’M SCREAMING RIGHT NOW

THANK YOU TJANKY OU THANKYOU

Nancy Clothspin / Coil Puppington

Context: Clay brings Coil to the office for the first time since hiring his new assistant, Nancy ( @bread-sheeran ).

Clay sat Coil down in the chair just outside his office, patting the boy’s head absentmindedly. He glanced around the room, seeing no sign of his well meaning but useless assistant, grumbling to himself. He was too sober to care - hoping in the back of his mind she had quit - instead turning his attention back to Coil.

“You stay here and play, peanut.“ He instructed before stepping inside his office and closing the door.

Coil sat in the chair for a while, swinging his legs as he glanced around the familiar space. He got up after a few minutes, climbing into the folding chair in front of the folding table. He picked up a piece of paper that, to his five year old brain, didn’t look important and began to make paper airplanes.

He tossed them about, watching them soar and disappear around corners or crash onto the floor. Just as went to make another one, he heard someone cry out. He looked up, seeing a young woman round the corner rubbing her eye. Their eyes met, both widening and freezing in place.

Nancy was the first to break eye contact, glancing back and forth to try and see if there was an adult around. When she saw none, she looked back at the toddler sitting frozen at her desk.

“Uh.. are you.. lost?” She asked.

Coil hesitated before shaking his head.

“Well.. where are your parents?”

She did NOT apply for a babysitting position.

Coil blinked, pointing to the closed door of Clay’s office. Nancy followed his little hand before looking back at him.

“Mayor Puppington didn’t have any meetings on his calendar today-“ She muttered.

At least, she didn’t think he did.

Coil shook his head again which only served to confuse Nancy more.

“Okay.. well, what’s your name?”

Coil stared at her.

Creepy.

“Uh.. can you.. talk?”

Coil stared at her.

Creepy fucking-

“Okay! Well! Come on” you little child of the corn “let’s go find your parents.” She walked toward him and lifted him by the armpits and held him out stretched from her.

Coil continued to stare at her but he looked more terrified now. He kicked his little feet in a desperate attempt to get down but alas, it was no use. She carried him down the hall to the main lobby, trying to avoid his big lamb eyes.

She reached the front desk and set him down on it, “Hey uh.. this kid was at my desk, I don’t know where his parents are.”

She explained to the elder woman running the front desk. The old woman glanced up from her newspaper and perked up when she saw Coil.

“Coil, sweet heart!” She cheered, digging through her purse to give the boy old candy that she probably also offered baby Jesus, “What are you getting into now, hm?”

“So is he.. yours?” Nancy asked.

“Oh, heavens, no! He’s Clay’s boy.”

Nancy’s head drew back a bit in confusion, “Mayor Puppington reproduced?”

Wasn’t he gay?

“Yes, he’s got three boys. I would bring him back to where you find him before Clay notices he’s missing.”

Nancy’s brows furrowed, a bit confused as to why that would be a problem. The only thing Clay seemed to notice was booze. None the less, she lifted Coil off the desk again in the same way and carried him back to the office. She set him down on the floor and for a long, uncomfortable twenty seconds they just stared at each other.

“Well- uh.. do you.. want.. a drink?” She asked, rubbing the back of her neck.

Coil nodded, still holding the candy in his little hands.

“What do you want? Uh.. high ball?”

Coil stared at her and she stared back.

“Water?”

Coil nodded.

Great. Now she was a babysitter.

She returned with a glass of water for Coil and gave him a few pieces of blank paper and a pencil for him to doodle with. The second she say down, Clay flung the door open.

“Nancy why is my flask empty?”

Probably because you drank it.

“Sorry, sir, I’ll get right on that.” She sighed, getting up and taking his flask.

“You keep an eye on that for me, Coil, make sure she doesn’t slack off, hm?” Clay beamed, ruffling Coil’s hair which only caused Nancy to sigh again.

Good to know her boss trusted a toddler more than her.

man

i can't believe this was my first tumblr post

bread sheeran

explodes

oh god i found some of my old art from when i was 10

my mom and dad were so proud of my ‘beautiful drawings’ and displayed my little books across the house like paintings in a museum

but now i’m wondering what i was on while drawing them

what if moral orel was called 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 orel and he heard adults around him say 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 things which caused him to commit vile and 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 crimes

what the actual fuck is wrong with you