Anatomy Is So Fun I Wish I Could Just Spend Hours Studying Only Anatomy.

dawn : the first appearance of light in the sky before sunrise

~ being awake before everyone else

~ having the whole world just for yourself

~ soft rays of light filtering through the windows

~ hopeful, serene, content

~ alone, but not lonely

(my personal favorite <3)

Read more poetry, listen to more jazz, look up more facts, stack books around you, try new recipes, put up pictures, create art, talk to loved ones, buy people flowers, write letters to everybody and nobody, watch old films, watch new films, watch biopics, take long walks, go on bike rides, get yourself sweet treats, stretch in the sun, take afternoon naps, embrace the long metro rides, go on late night car drives, dance with friends.

To live is the greatest adventure of them all.

Things That Make Me Feel Like I'm Living My Best Dark Academic Life:

- reading novels under candlelight all night simply because i can. feeling tired but satisfied the day after, mild dark circles under my eyes but head full of stories.

- wearing rings on any available finger, especially my silver snake ring or the gold ring with a green gemstone passed down from an older relative. Even typing on a computer becomes more DA when they reflect its light.

- the feeling of a warm mug of coffee in my cold hands on a rainy, dreary morning. Or a refreshing glass of chilled water when the sun has decided to pay a visit.

- writing letters and poetry for my boyfriend by hand, decorating them with pressed flowers and one spray of my signature perfume. Sealing the brown envelope with wax and then delivering them by hand, or by placing them in places he will surely find them.

- following on from the last point, the feeling of secrecy and pure romanticism when he does the same in return. the joys of seeing his words on paper or the paintings within those sealed envelopes, knowing that they are for my eyes only.

- sharing facts in conversation with friends when the topic calls for it, especially when i am able to reference my subject of study.

- the first breath of the outside when i open my window in the morning.

- stove kettles and perfectly brewed tea.

- late night debates and discussion about the meaning of it all.

- the euphoria of strangers complimenting my outfits.

- sitting in my local costa with my boyfriend and our best friend (when we could.)

- the knowledge of how old my university campus is, creating imaginary stories of all the people who, like me, have walked its corridors and marvelled at its beauty.

- the feeling of satisfaction after completing a wordsearch.

- warm baths lit only by candles, the floral smell of bath salts or bubble bath filling the air.

- the rush of adrenaline after finishing and handing in an assignment just in time.

- seeing my bookshelves overflowing with books, both new and old, unread and well loved.

- when i am able to casually quote poetry or literature flawlessly in conversation, the satisfaction when others notice, and the sense of mystery when they do not.

- long walks in autumn or the stereotypical english weather with my closest companions.

- staying up late, or all night, to write stories and poetry. reading out my words to the night sky in the privacy of my bedroom. the sense of pride in knowing that these words and moments are between myself, the moon and her stars. they are ours alone.

there are several more, but these are some of my favourite.

i’m fasting for 15 hours

How long are you guys fasting for?

I’m interested in seeing who’s suffering (i.e., me) and who got it easy lol

Reblog with how long your fasts are

I’m fasting for 17 hours

everyone gangster until you pull on your not so platonic friend's armor

so apparently it’s cool to wear your boyfriend’s clothes now?

but when i, patroclus-

Very honest photo dump about how the month is going (i need a miracle to get me through these exams)

i used to be such a skeptic whenever i came across any mental health advice asking you to “move your body” or “drink more water” or “eat nutritious food and get sunlight” because how can you narrow down my psyche to these physical constraints?

to me, these seemed like empty words ringing across a hallowed hall devoid of any warmth or feeling. only once i started implementing these have i realised what a power the state of your body and biological functions hold over you. i don’t feel that heavy burden of feelings dragging behind me like a phantom, choking me and consuming me and binding me in an inescapable vortex inside my head. physical liberation from that dictator of malaise and despondency has turned me into a changed woman.

i no longer recognise myself and i couldn’t be happier about it. i should learn to forgive those past versions of myself, i really know i should but perhaps i shall need more time. i don’t think it is in my nature to be forgiving yet. does god not require penance in order to unshackle you from the manacles of your sins? perhaps more atonement from my end is required to appease my grieved subconscious. or maybe im just meant to linger in the shades of what could’ve been. either way, i think im liking who im becoming.

STEM DARK ACADEMIA

I'm a little upset at the lack of stem in dark academia, so here's my list of aesthetic science things, STEM ACADEMIA (dark edition)

• relating a little too much to the mad scientist trope (and telling everyone "no, no I would never do anything like that, I just want to help people" but like imagine if we could resurrect people)

• rereading Frankenstein every year, specifically in the month of october

• "why is STEAM a thing?? Art? who that?"

• minoring in classics because you still like mythology and history and reading

• finding the science in art (why things make you feel a certain way, how they do that, what effect they've had on health and medicine) and finding the art in science (isn't it incredible that dna knows how to tell plant cells to break down chlorophyll and this makes the gorgeous fall colors)

• reading every book that mentions at all a scientist or has a character who is interested in stem (they are few and far between)

• enjoying the structure of math and engineering but thriving off the chaos that is science

• where are the mad scientist women? I need this

• people being surprised when you tell them you're majoring in something "really science-y" after being an absolute bookworm and musician all throughout your childhood and having to defend what your heart desires (no? just me?)

• CARDIGANS are peak stem culture

• "why aren't you a doctor? why aren't you going to med school? why are you doing insert reasonable science degree here and not becoming a doctor? don't you want to help people?"

• wanting to go into genetics but wanting to go into botany but wanting to go into theoretical physics but wanting to go into astronomy but wanting to go into geology but wanting to go into chemical engineering but wanting to go into astrophysics but wanting to go into wildlife biology

• for some reason having a huge obsession with morals, ethics, and philosophy

• watching true crime just for the forensic bits

• watching mythbusters as a kid

• LISTENING TO TCHAIKOVSKY, BEETHOVEN, BACH, AND MOZART those are the stem classical musicians change my mind

• doing all your homework and frying your brain then getting to read a simple book that really refreshes you

• you had the astronomy and archaeology obsession as a kid

• listening to synth wave instrumentals

• MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL

• when people tell you that one cool science fact they learned and you try your hardest to encourage them but girl that wasn't even close to being correct

• ScienceDirect and PubMed are your go-to databases

• having lots of intrusive, existential thoughts that sometimes suffocate you, because you know better than most how much dark dna there is or how small we really are in the universe or knowing how much math explains and how little room there is for free will or thinking about how we are made up of mostly four types of atoms

• reading science or math textbooks for fun

• reading the fountainhead by ayn rand when you were way too young and didn't understand it but now parts of it emerge from the depths of your memory and you are struck by the power

• watching marvel and x-men and jurassic park just because

• reading sci-fi because it's the closest thing to real science in literature

• knowing a little too much about radiation poisoning and how to really dissolve a body in chemicals

• wearing white to make up for how little your professors make you wear lab coats

(sorry, I don't know that much about technology and I'm a literal grandpa when it comes to using it myself)

Muslim Dark Academia Things:

Being torn between the black hijab and the slightly less black hijab

Islamic architecture being so beautiful it found its way unto western countries

Islamic. Art.

Learning arabic calligraphy.

Staying up late, hearing athan (call for prayer) and going "holy shit its already fajr (sunrise prayer) ?????"

Not being able to sleep after Fajr (sun rise prayer) and going into a wiki search rabbit hole

Wanting to sleep after fajr (sun rise prayer) but reading one chapter and then the suns already out there and the birds have the audacity to chirp chirp ughh

Not everyone gets an Assalamu Alaikum (peace and blessing be upon you) because some people just don't deserve wishing them peace

Everyone gets a hey tho

Petting kittens because its sunnah (the prophet used to do it, and its preferable that we do although not an obligation) and you get hasanat (at least you try to convince yourself that's why)

Always having pocket change for charity cause you never know

Tiny but elaborate copies of the qur'an in case you get five minutes of silence

Being at peace 24/7 because God's mercy is bestowed upon all

No more peace your paper is late

Reading nawader (little stories from the middle ages! Like Kaleela Wa Dimna)

Mourning the library of baghdad, that had so many books that when it was destroyed the river turned black with ink

mourning the library of Alexandria

Having a favourite mo'athen (one who calls for prayer) or quare'a (one who recites Quran)

Messy Arabic notes. Studying nahw (arabic grammar.) Arabic prose.

Khalil Jabran (mostly known as Khalil Gibran) and people who pronounce his name correctly (no problem of you cant tho!)

Arabic poetry

Arabic poetry

Arabic poetry

Reading Shakespeare critically

"With every hardship comes ease"

"The best amongst you are those who own knowledge and share it"

Kohl just because

Reading about the golden age of islam and wishing you lived there

Knowing that your race, gender, colour, language, religion wouldn't have stopped you from learning back then because islam is a religion of equality

Having so many badass women to look up to

That bellowing abaya/bisht/dishdasha/khimar (middle eastern clothing? It's real hard to explain/desctibe these guys but they're very very loose for dramatic effect and modesty) that is just sooo pretty and mysterious

Arriving at your masjid just on time for prayer

The imam (one who leads prayer) asking people to "fill the gaps and straighten the lones"

That one sheikh that gives beautiful lectures/sermons and makes you want to learn even more

That other sheikh that tells you stories so elaborately you forget who you are

THE SHEIKH THAT IS BOTH OF THESE BEAUTIFUL SOULS

Going to harems with your fellow sisters

Smiling at people and complimenting them because its sadakah (charity you get rewarded for) and because it low key makes you happy

Knowing every little thing is rewarded

Reading from all your copies of the qur'an so that none of them feels lonely

Buying a lavish prayer matt because why not

"The prophet had a cat, mom, its sunnah" (sunnah means things the prophet did that we get good deeds to do)

I'll post a part 2 when anything comes to mind <3

Feel free to add more! In fact I would be over the moon if you do!