Boris-bunions

the suffering never ends

What about with butter and garlic seasonings?

ladies! is there honestly anything sexier than

bread

My roommate wants to fuck cedric the sorcerer from Sofia the First. Should I be worried?

When a life or death situation comes up:

Me: just relax. It's cool.

When a minor inconvenience enters my life:

Me: jUST RELAX! WHY AREN'T YOU RELAXING!!

she weaponized her gag gift im crying

Take this with you

My friend has been ignoring me for 3 full days now. Should I prepare myself for abandonment?

I was talking to a kid in my daughter’s class today, and she said that she thought it would be fun to write a story about the Titanic, but with supernatural creatures.

So I said, “Yeah, that would great! What would the creatures do? Would they save the Titanic from sinking?”

And she gave me the most disgusted look. I have never seen a 9 year old face look so appalled.

“No,” she said, speaking very clearly so as to never be so grossly misunderstood again, “they’re going to eat the passengers.”

God I hope she lets me read it.