He's So Real

You know. While I do appreciate the headcannon that Odysseus and Penelope had absolutely sick nasty sex as soon as he got home, my opinion is actually that they went straight to bed and slept through the night and well into the next day, getting the best sleep either of them has gotten in 20 years.

Because like. We know why Odysseus would need to rest finally after being in the Trojan war and then being hunted by gods and monsters for the next ten years.

But Penelope.

Penelope was home. Waiting, and then she was told the Trojan war is over and Odysseus should be home any day. And then months passed and then that turned to years. And now suitors are claiming her husband is dead and she needs to choose someone else. And at first they’re polite about it but then they grow increasingly…not so polite about it.

Odysseus was battling monsters, yes. But Penelope lived with them. I imagine she spent every night sleeping lightly, knife in hand and facing her bedroom door—maybe not sleeping at all. She wouldn’t be able to stop all of them but she wouldn’t go down without a fight.

And nearly ten years passes like that.

And then Odysseus finally makes it back and all the suitors are dead. Yeah, fucking him is nice but holy shit she needs to fucking sleep.

cr: the song is Gold, Guns, Girls by Metric

"Generic passenger car pack" (https://skfb.ly/6sUFy) by Comrade1280 "2014 Toyota Corolla E180 EU (with interior)" (https://skfb.ly/oLAVz) by Armored Wave special thanks to @pan-da-hero for cheering me up during this long long journey and to [redacted] for doing hand modeling for me no questions asked <3

you go to college and no one wants to play warrior cats anymore. bitch we need to take back sunningrocks.

Epic AU

Odysseus: How many suitors are there? Servant: 128. Though, twenty of them formed a guard, after Antinous turned out to be a dick. Odysseus: *Thinking* Servant: Ten are away with the prince, the other ten are keeping guard over Penelope. Odysseus: Why? Servant: They're being bodyguards Odysseus: No, why did they come if they're not seeking the Queen's hand? Servant: Oh, they're trying to convince the Prince to marry their daughters. *Meanwhile* Guard #1: *Watching Telemachus with one of his friends* I'm starting to think the Prince might be swinging the other way. Guard #2: That's alright, I've got a son.

MORE TOUTEN AAAHHH AHHH HELPP MEEENHAAAHHH HELPPPMAAAAH i cant stop drawing them the lore ive created is immense

fuck them kids

I literally can’t make eye contact with you without grinning like an idiot omg

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

mental illness so weird cs I randomly become suicidal once every couple weeks😭