Blitherdooble - Vin

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

current mood

One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.

(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)

This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”

Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”

It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)

moments

250127

11/100 days of productivity

song of the day: lune noire-isolde lasoen

pretty okay day today. starting to lose my motivation a little bit but i have midterms coming up. i have a chemistry one next week and i am very behind on content which is... unfortunate.

academic: finished my chemistry lab and my lab report. finished my calculus problem set. halfway finished my physics problem set. finished my chemistry quiz with a friend. attended an engineering symposium and got free pizza.

research: did some research into egg albumen adhesives. apparently our wet lab is using it as a control so i'll have to add the protocol to our paper. it was very interesting though.

selfcare: got myself a nice turkey apple brie sandwich today. i had no idea the sandwiches at my school's sandwich and soup bar were that good. it was so yummy i will be buying it again. sadly they close at 2 but i want to try other sandwiches.

tomorrow: i have to submit my appliation for a summer research position since it's due in 3 days. my school is having a club fair so i will be getting free stuff.

250204

19/100 days of productivity

song of the day: cry for me- the weeknd

studied until 3 am for chemistry. did some practice midterms and rewatched all my lectures.

241227

song of the day: where are you- 54 ultra

mostly ran errands today which took much longer than anticipated. i had to push the majority of my tasks to tomorrow. despite that my mood was great which is a win in my books. i bought a new planner for 2025 and it has already proven to be useful.

research: assigned tasks to my team. (we are a little behind schedule for our publication). sent out a few emails to the journal.

selfcare: on the last bit of a horror game i've been wanting to play for a while. i might finish it tomorrow. also did a bit of drawing but i don't expect to have much time for that as the new semester is starting.

tomorrow: buying a new notebook. after that i can get started with preparing for the new semester. key goals: make topic list, mind map, set up notes. i'm quite excited to decorate the pages with all the new stickers i got. i also plan to finish my blog article (which is due in a week).

250206

21/100 days of productivity

song of the day: big sleep- the weeknd

pretty tiring day today. my ceiling light is still out (it has been a week).

academic: completed two pre labs and a lab and a lab report. finished my biology essay assignment that's due tomorrow (i've been putting it off since i've had midterms). caught up on calculus since i've had to skip this week for midterms. got two math problem sets assigned at once and due at the same time which is just plain ridiculous.

research: our wet lab data is finally starting to look okay. our adhesive still isn't strong enough but at least the graph looks like a graph. i'm still editing my article which is due in a week.

self care: cleaned my room and finally got rid of the salt snow dirt stains on my floor.

tomorrow: have a physics lab. i need to catch up on chemistry and biology. also have a first aid course this weekend so i should review for that. also going out to celebrate my birthday with some hotpot!

250124

8/100 days of productivity

almost done my calculus problem set and applied for a scholarship. just have citations left for my article. have a biomedical engineering conference tomorrow that i am very excited for.

“I don’t want to be a sweetheart. I want to be the fucking love of your life.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie