240201

I yearn for so much.

people who work/study in quantitative bio-adjacent fields, rise up. computational neuroscience where you get to see someone's thoughts in feelings in graph form??? so cool. biophysics where you can pass blood plasma through an electric field to determine whether a patient has cancer or not?? unbelievable. biomedical engineering where you can literally build a device to pump someone's heart and be the difference between their life and death??? oh my god. disease modelling, being able to predict AND prevent communities being affected by disease on a large scale through your analysis of data??? i love science

250115

1/100 days of productivity

song of the day: vienna- billy joel

had three very tiring but very productive meetings today!

the fire alarm went off during my physics lecture so i had to stand outside for 30 minutes. also met with an upper year bioengineering student and now i'm very interested in applying for a transfer.

research: met with a bioengineering/biomedical engineering professor and i can happily say that i now work in a bioengineering lab. also met with my research team for the first time since the break.

academic: finished my chemistry lab report and did some calculus problems. worked on some notes.

self care: got a bit of exercise (walking) in today! unfortunately i wore my doc martens for too long yesterday so it was a little painful.

above: icicles hanging off our museum, snowflake that landed on my sleeve

250204

19/100 days of productivity

song of the day: cry for me- the weeknd

studied until 3 am for chemistry. did some practice midterms and rewatched all my lectures.

250127

11/100 days of productivity

song of the day: lune noire-isolde lasoen

pretty okay day today. starting to lose my motivation a little bit but i have midterms coming up. i have a chemistry one next week and i am very behind on content which is... unfortunate.

academic: finished my chemistry lab and my lab report. finished my calculus problem set. halfway finished my physics problem set. finished my chemistry quiz with a friend. attended an engineering symposium and got free pizza.

research: did some research into egg albumen adhesives. apparently our wet lab is using it as a control so i'll have to add the protocol to our paper. it was very interesting though.

selfcare: got myself a nice turkey apple brie sandwich today. i had no idea the sandwiches at my school's sandwich and soup bar were that good. it was so yummy i will be buying it again. sadly they close at 2 but i want to try other sandwiches.

tomorrow: i have to submit my appliation for a summer research position since it's due in 3 days. my school is having a club fair so i will be getting free stuff.

they keep adopting strays it’s become a problem

250117

3/100 days of productivity

song of the day: you're in love- joe hisaishi

pretty good day today! my physics labs haven't started yet so i only had one lecture today.

academic: went library hopping and finished notes for 3/4 of my classes. (my biology slides actually make no sense). got started on my physics problem set and prepared for my lab workshop tomorrow.

self-care: might be masochistic but i find writing notes very relaxing! i suppose that counts as self care. i was watching let's plays while studying so now i really want to play a game. side note: i just found out that poppy playtime chapter 4 is coming out in 2 weeks? very exciting.

tomorrow: i don't think i'll have much time after my 5 hour lab and a party with my friends but if i do i'll work on my physics and math problem sets! i really need to stop putting off my biology notes but formatting it is just a nightmare.

welcome everyone who has been following me recently! i love making new mutuals- it's very heartwarming.

241228

song of the day: sticky- tyler, the creator

about halfway through priming for my courses. i was a little disappointed with the poor quality of the notebooks at the store but at least i have something to write in now.

also planned out my new years which helped destress.

sadly didn't get 100% completion in the horror game i wanted to finish: it is about 2 hours long and i must replay it for the zero deaths run. maybe i'll finish it in a few months.

research: didn't get any writing done today but since the base structure is already there, i just need a little more information and edit. i hope to finish it tomorrow but it will probably take a few days, realistically.

tomorrow's goal: finish priming for my courses and get started on calculus review (didn't get the best mark last semester). bake cookies? go swimming.

it's really shocking and sad to think that i only have a week left with my family before i go across the country and back to being totally alone. but i'm enjoying the time i have now which is all that matters.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become