As A Resident Parent Friend

my lunch was some bastard child of sushi and onigiri with a delicious, perfect mandarin orange <3

the bastard children were 337 c@ls

rice (160), salmon (120), the srupid fuckjnf cheese (25), ground pepper (2) package of seaweed that i ate the rest of while making them (30)

a mandarin orange my precious (47)

total: 384 (337+47)

have a great timezone! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

✨ aesthetic✨ lunch

rice cakes (2) - 70

cream cheese light (2) - 50

gochujang (1/8tsp) - 2

roma tomatoes (50g) - 8

total: 131

tmw when u have 36 notifications n they're all from the same person (thanks for the spam homie :D)

so my neighbour is finally back and she came over to give us cupcakes on halloween bc shes just that awesome (my favorite person on this earth <33)

and during the usual how-have-you-been-hows -school-how-was-your-cruise song and dance she said

"oh you're just wasting away look at you!"

nah i was like "oh no haha just been getting back in shape for karate you know haha"

but inside i was like omg nice grandma neighbor thinks im wasting away??? :00 validation!!!!

my dinner! spicy "ramen" (konjac noodles), egg, sugar-free jello and cherry coke zero (god i love cherry coke zero my lifeblood frrr ❤️ 🍒)

i used two noodle packets (10 cal each so 20) and one small egg (60 cal) the sauce/seasonings are 22 cal and the green onion is 8.

plus the jello (2 × 5cal = 10) is 160 cal total!!

A more serious post I guess but I HATE HATE HATE people, who promote d1s0rd3red 34ting in the mainstream. Like shut up.

It is important that people, who are already unwell, have a space, but IIT NEVER should be close to the general population. Here I just have a space to vent and maybe make myself feel a bit better (being there somehow helps me keep it together, although I understand that it's more of an illusion of control and stability, but I need at least that), and I don't want some normie to see this shit and internalise it.

We already live in a very toxic culture (which almost circled back to how it was in the 00's), and I don't fucking want more people to be suffering.

both of u sleep <3

ilyt chickadee <3

imma do this now yes yes :3

day 1: stats and expectations

176 cm / 5'9

92 kg / 203 lbs

idrk what "expectations" means in this context but eh

expectations in terms of my goals r:

id like to be sk1nny enough that people tell me to eat more but not enough to get involuntarily committed. like "oh you're wasting away you should put some meat on your bones" not "you're becoming a skeleton bird r u okay?"

expectations in terms of how quickly i can get there:

im waayyyy better at med-res than low or high (low i just do med anyways and high i b1ng3) so it'll be more slow n steady (for 4n@ at least lol)