OP What.is.mental.illness [Instagram]

i have never met an unpsychotic person who knows what it actually means to “not encourage the delusion” …not a single one

[Image description: four slides with black text on a light blue background that read as follows: 

Victim blaming by abusive parents looks like… “You’re disrespecting me by having boundaries that are inconvenient to me. Therefore, I’m entitled to hurt you.” “You know I get mad when you do this and you did it anyway, so it’s your fault I hit you/yelled at you/belittled you.” “You’re hurting my feelings by accusing me of being a bad parent.” “What have I done to deserve this?” (Usually as a reaction to you establishing boundaries). “You’re tearing this family apart (by fighting back against the abuse).” “You’re a bad child. Look at all the bad things YOU’VE done to ME.” (often, those things are trauma reactions, like avoiding their presence or acting behind their backs). (When you try to hold them accountable) “Oh, I forgot, you’re always right and I’m always wrong. Nobody cares about me or my feelings. I do everything for you and this is what I get in exchange.”

In reality… Every person is responsible for their actions. You didn’t make them abuse you—they CHOSE to abuse you. You have the right to be able to establish boundaries without fear of punishment. You have the right to have your needs met. Your trauma reactions are not something you’re doing to disrespect them—they’re something your body is doing to protect you from harm. End image description] 

These are just some examples of things abusers say to frame their abusive actions as the victim’s fault (taken from personal experience and the stories of people who have messaged me). Feel free to add your own examples if they’re not listed here and if you want to help spread awareness about what victim-blaming looks like!

And remember: abuse is never the victim’s fault.

What does guilt-tripping by abusive parents look like?

What does gaslighting by abusive parents look like?

adulthood really does hit you like a fucking truck when you spent all of your teenage years thinking you were gonna kill yourself eventually,

I have trouble taking care of my teeth because everything that involves doing that is a sensory nightmare. I decide to do some research to see if there's anything I can do about this. The results?

"How to make your autistic child brush their teeth"

"Autistic Children and Sensory issues relating to tooth brushing"

"How to get your little shit to brush his fucking teeth"

Like, yeah Google, thanks, that really helps. And like, even if I was a child, some of the advice seemed... unhelpful. Like, doing a dance and singing a song while brushing your teeth? Even for a kid, I don't think that would help distract from a sensory experience as intense as brushing your teeth. Like, the extremely intense and unpleasant flavor, the intense feeling of the brush against your teeth scraping across it, even mouthwash has such an intense and disgusting flavor that I have difficulty keeping it in my mouth for more than a few seconds. I wish there was SOMETHING that could be done.

prescribe me adderall or i will start cooking meth in my fucking bathroom you fucking psychiatrist

Therapist Red Flags

Therapy is important and can be really helpful, but not all therapists are good at their job. Here’s a few things to look out for when you’re seeing a therapist:

Not listening to what you tell them

Ignoring confidentiality (except in emergencies)

Making you feel judged or ashamed

Ignoring or trivialising your needs

Consistently being late

Making fun of your needs / accomplishments

Being judgemental or critical of you

Not taking your feedback on sessions into account

Condescending facial expressions or body language

Ignoring what you want to do / accomplish in therapy

Talking too much about themselves

Making you feel like problems are all your fault

Being insensitive to your culture or religion

They’re making you feel bad about yourself

Using the phone or getting distracted during your sessions

Attempting to make romantic / sexual advances on you

Making you feel stupid or invalid for what you say or how you feel

Forgetting important details about you / your life

Pushing you too hard before you’re ready

You wondering if their behaviour is a red flag. If you’re looking it up then chances are you already feel uncomfortable in therapy. You should never be forced into seeing a therapist who makes you feel uneasy. There’s no shame in leaving and finding a different therapist.

Not to sound like a 90s shallow prep, but how you dress can affect your self esteem, and putting energy into wearing things you actively like and projecting an ideal of yourself through fashion instead of seeing clothes as things you have to put on out of obligation helps.

It also can give you a sense of control over your appearance that you otherwise wouldn’t have lmao

i feel like tumblr has kind of changed the meaning of the word "echolalia" into something that can be more precisely described with "vocal stimming." people on here use echolalia to mean "repeating a word or phrase over and over because it feels good" which fits the definition of vocal stimming. that's the established term for doing that; echolalia usually means something else.

the classic meaning of echolalia isn't repeating a word that sounds good, but is actually a conversational pattern where one person repeats the last thing that got said. for example, someone might say to me, "i'll bring you the rest of the articles tomorrow" and i'll reply back "articles tomorrow." it could also be just repeating yourself after you've finished talking, like i'll say a sentence, think i'm done, then catch myself repeating the last few words of the sentence.

i also do this in ASL, so it isn't just about the mouth-feel of the words. also the words don't necessarily have to be particularly pleasing or stand out in any way. when i do it, i'm not even really trying to communicate anything, it's just how i process language. that's different from vocal stimming, which is when a word is so pleasing to say that you say it over and over again.

the reason i care about this distinction is that echolalia is a majorly stigmatized feature of autism (though it also occurs in other neurodevelopmental conditions that affect language). it's often seen as a sign that an autistic person is "low functioning" or as something to be trained out through ABA. i've never met another autistic adult with echolalia, and when i do it, it confuses the hell out of whoever i'm talking to unless they know about it as an autistic thing. i just hope that other autistic people with echolalia know that they aren't the only one who does this, and it isn't anything to be ashamed of