Hi!

Hi!

How to not feel dumb in college? When i was in school, i thought i was pretty smart but then i entered college and it feels like everyone is smarter than me. This is affecting my daily life and studies too. What should I do? How do i start studying again?

Hello 👋🏻😊 That’s a common feeling and it’s understandable that you’d feel that way considering you’re struggling academically, and surrounded by smart people. Understandable, but in need of re-framing.

Firstly, the fact that you care about studying is a great sign. The fact that you’re seeking advice is also a great sign. I’m guessing you’re someone who values personal growth; that trait alone will take you further than almost any other.

Second, it’s important to remember that feelings are not facts. Just because you feel like your peers are smarter or more capable, it doesn’t mean you’re right. I think you need to do some reflecting and figure out why you feel dumb.

Try to poke holes in your theory:

In your class, is everyone there above your level academically, or are they just less shy than you about contributing to class discussion?

Has anyone ever commented negatively on your academic ability or intelligence?

Do you have a history of feeling dumb in other areas of your life, such as perceived social inadequacy?

Is your self-esteem low in general?

Were you ever bullied for anything, therefore expect to be attacked or ridiculed when you show “weakness?”

Do you come from a family that values academic achievement and their praise was your incentive, but now you aren’t being praised by the people around you?

Do you feel over-shadowed by a sibling? When siblings compete for the approval of a parent, it can greatly affect the self-worth of all siblings involved, because parental approval meant life or death when we were young — and that conditioning is hard to re-wire, if not impossible; our parent’s opinions will likely always matter.

Another way to phrase this question might be, “what makes me feel smart?”

The arena you play in makes a difference:

High school is generalized, college is specialized. You’re here with people who are passionate about the subject, and likely know a lot about it. In high school, you were with a bunch of people who A) most likely did not want to be there and therefore tried less, B) did not choose (most) of the classes they took, and C) may have been bad at those subjects because they didn’t care about them.

High school doesn’t do a very good job of preparing students for post-secondary. It’s possible you just haven’t yet developed the skills required to excel in post-secondary. You might still be in a learning curve.

Reasons why feeling less intelligent than others isn’t necessarily a bad thing:

Lack of knowledge implies opportunity. What you don’t know, is out there waiting for you to learn it. Not knowing can be an exciting place if you adopt a perspective that values growth, and is driven by curiosity rather than shame about not knowing.

It’s important to be surrounded by people who are smarter than you. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re not learning as effectively as you could be. Learn to be thankful for the smart people around you; instead of seeing them as competition or as mirrors of your perceived inadequacy, see them as inspiration, and seek their feedback — having a second opinion always helps, especially when they’re knowledgeable in your field.

Your worth is independent of achievement, competency, or status. Start to re-wire your perception of worthiness in general and this academic perception will follow suit.

I suggest you find a new word for how you’re feeling.

See, dumb is subjective. It’s inaccurate, because it doesn’t represent anything tangible. What is dumb? And by whose metric is “dumb” measured? Not only that — “dumb” is not constructive. If your goal is to feel and/or be smarter, you can’t call yourself dumb. It doesn’t work that way. As Dr. Jordan Peterson says, “If you want to be strong, stop saying things that make you feel weak.”

Suggestions:

“I’m not the smartest person in the room (and that’s okay)”

“This person is better at x than I am”

“I don’t know as much about x as this person”

“I’m not an expert in this (yet)”

“I’m still learning”

“They were a beginner once too”

“If they can do/learn it, so can I”

How do I start studying again?

Just start. Set a timer for whatever amount of time you think you can tolerate. 5 minutes, 10, 15. More if you can, but make sure you start as low as you think you can handle. This is called exposure therapy. Right now, studying is probably a source of anxiety for you, or it causes you some sort of distress while you’re doing it. You’re feeling an aversion to studying, so there’s something about it that your nervous system is trying to protect you from by avoiding it. This is why you need to get clear on why you’re averse, on why you feel inadequate, on why you’re struggling, because now you can make a game-plan. Start small, and build momentum on your small victories. This is how you regain your confidence.

Other tips:

Find a study buddy

Utilize study apps

Meditate before studying

Stay hydrated, fed, and well-rested

Take care of your mental health; rule out (and prevent) other issues that could be contributing to or causing this struggle; avoid burnout and be mindful of your mentality

Talk to a therapist

Talk to a loved one

Talk to a student advisor, professor’s assistant, or professor

Request a tutor if your school offers them, or hire one if you have the means

Figure out what time of day you study best, and try to reorganize your schedule to accommodate if you can

Study in your favourite place — the spot on campus or in your house you feel most creative, alert and productive

Treat yourself with a non-food reward (I think coffee is okay! ☺️)

I hope this helps! Know that you’re not alone, and that your problem is 100% fixable — it’s about mentality, practice, persistence, and self-compassion. Take care! 😊

~ Bella ✨