You Can Encourage Someone To Believe That They Can Stand Right Back Up, But Not That They Must Always

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

My friend came back home from a competition and told me how her partner was disheartened at the fact that her team didn’t make it to the final round of the debate and that there’ll always be biases along the way but that doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of being out there than they are. You. Put. In. Your. All. You went out there and got them. You did what you could at the time and FOR THEN AND FOR YOU that was more than enough, it’s very important to realise your worth regardless of what’s been set out there or what clears through, that doesn’t mean you didn’t push through, you did :)

It’s ok if you can’t find the words. It’s ok if your heart feels to heavy in your chest so much so you can feel it sinking further into the void left by those that once were, I will hold it and dig the earth out to plant it in your backyard, for wherever home is, to show you how you love, to show you just how much of this red desire and passionfruit you hold within you, and to make you realise just how sickeningly sweet the aftertaste is and how it makes me want to blanket you with the warmth that it caressed me with, so to say I will show you how you love and love you whilst, I will tell you that’s it’s alright to not want to be stringing the weight of something you can’t afford, I will help you branch out to all the things that you missed and have the one and many nights you need to hold them close for the closure to come, to tell you that you don’t have to stitch your limbs down to someone while they’re anchoring you from fully and completely reaching out to that one version of yourself that respects and holds you. I will show you how you love and love you whilst :)

things you can do despite your sense of guilt

- go for a walk even if you think you don’t deserve it

- have a snack even if you think you don’t deserve it

- take a break from studying even if you think you don’t deserve it

- reach out to someone even if you think you don’t deserve it

- demand, have needs and wants even if you think you don’t deserve it

- make it through the day even if you think you don’t deserve it

- feel mentally exhausted albeit seeming physically fine

- feel the sense of abandonment despite the company of those around you

- go to bed early despite not having done much according to your mental routine

- let out a deep breath even if you think you weren’t holding one back

I can’t help but adore the way people love and learn to love. Because it’s so much more than just having this heavy feeling weighing you down when it’s time for them to leave, it’s so much more than just intertwining your fingers together, its allowing yourself to feel the warmth of the sun tinting your cheeks with a blush you’re not too familiar with, but the familiarity of the warmth and it’s aftertaste is savouring, it makes you want to blanket your chest, it’s the way you accept and admit the fact that you’ve come to grow rather affectionate about something or someone in a way that fills your heart to the brim so much so you no longer have control over the direction of your emotions, it’s about unfolding your love and folding yourselves right back into a form where the two of you feel complete and enough to have so much space for what’s to come,

because watching somebody learning to love is lovely, it’s grounding and I’m so proud of you for finding it within yourself to love even when you had to go through what you did, even when those around you made you think you weren’t worthy of it, so to be able to cultivate that garden with others is truly admirable

Even if what once was, is erased, I’ll plant a kiss on those rosy cheeks again.

YOU DESERVE TO BE SPENT TIME WITH It’s important to realise that not every person out there has been set out to take advantage of you, we have our own past, we have our own lessons, but each and every individual out there, deserves to have the benefit of doubt for not necessarily having an ulterior motive against you. You are doing what you can out of your complete will, learn to slowly dissolve the thought where you think you don’t deserve to have anybody else’s company around you or you’re only worth spending time with because you’re their only way in and out of a loop.

Sure people NEED you, but that does not equate to them tossing you away once they’re done wrapping up. Because every time I think about it, it’s the same as somebody else shutting me out, with no regards to an explanation or having second thoughts about the way I’ve allowed myself to feel around them,about the way I’ve allowed myself to fully and completely love the deepest corners of their mind, body and heart. It felt bad to be given up on that easily. Refrain, reflect and then proceed :) you are healing, NOT shielding, there’s a difference. Let’s not blur the line <3

i think as a society we should go back to designing furniture w little feet. it would heal us.

it’s ok to admit that it’s one of those moments where you’re going to have to hold yourself tight