It Is Like We Are Seeing Other People But I Am Still Locked In A Cage.

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Popular Femdom Myths

In no particular order some popular, but nevertheless nonsensical, myths:

“I am an Alpha Male sub”

Aka. “I’m not ready to embrace my submissive side or to throw away my misogynistic world views but I need someone to satisfy my emotional craving for submission”. Men who feel the need to state repeatedly, that they are Alpha Males and do not sub to everyone clearly don’t understand the whole concept of femdom. Nobody wants doormats. Even if a Domme is only into giving pain, what fun is that, if she’s torturing a doormat? None at all! We want men to play with. Otherwise we could just give our living room carpets a good beating, but that’s just another household chore. An excellent one, though, for some self-proclaimed Alpha Males who have an obscure need for showing off their Male Strength by hitting something.

Dommes want men with really huge dicks, all small or average sized dudes should be subs and not use their penis for sex!

Uh, like… Really? Have you asked a female friend confidentially? Do you know anything about female anatomy? Or real life sex that’s satisfying for the women? Okay, well, I thought so.

Why are men so obsessed with penis size? Why do men insist on identifying with their penis? I really don’t know.

Serious studies show, that women all over the world prefer men with penises a little larger than what’s the average in their country. Though why that is the case is still a mystery to science, so draw your own conclusions or do some research yourself.

But seriously guys. Penis size doesn’t predestinate your fate. You are not your penis!

If the thought turns you on, though, don’t hesitate to act out small penis humiliation scenes with a consenting, enthusiastic partner!

Femdom is about putting men in chastity cages and pegging them as a punishment

Chastity devices can be a fetish for people who are into femdom, too, yes. But that fetish is not necessarily connected with femdom. Chastity via device is much nearer to bondage, a kink that’s neither inherently dominant nor submissive. The same goes for pegging. A practice done in many relationships without any D/s-intend.

A lot of BDSM-practicioners are into corporal punishment as part of their relationship dynamics. They may kink on being “punished for being bad” or feel cared for if someone “takes them in hand”. But to give adults in a relationship what they want and need can’t be seen as real punishment, that is, abuse. So, no, chastity devices and pegging are not ways to keep submissive men oppressed and downtrodden.

Femdom means Female Supremacy

No.

Feminist doesn’t mean female supremacist either. Where have you left your common sense? Lost in your pants somewhere? Tell your dick to shut up!

Equality, regardless of gender, class and race. That’s what feminists fight for. Not female supremacy! The latter is much more of a (mostly male) fetish and also a self-deceiving wish of few sad women who don’t see other ways to still keep up their hope for a better world.

Female dominants are not necessarily even feminists. You making assumptions only shows, that you still, even after stating that you’re all for being submissive to women, do not take real women or their views serious and still believe you know better than them, what they’d have to say and what they’d think and therefore you don’t have to ask. No, sweety, you’re so, so wrong there! Graded F, you’ll have to repeat this class, I fear!

Being submissive is being weak

Only losers are slaves to their Mistress? Okay, okay. If you’re a sub believing this myth, I suggest some contemplation on what it really means to be submissive to another person. Write it down. Look at it. Does it seem like a job for a weakling?

If you are a woman and feel the need to defend yourself against allegations of wanting to have weak men and dating losers, I suggest dating only grown up men from now on and let the others find out for themselves. You can’t educate the whole male half of mankind, you don’t have to. Haters gonna hate.

That brings us to the next point:

Being a Domme means you hate men/want revenge

“Did you become a Domme because you were raped and abused as a child?” Oh, men, I can’t hear that one any more! Maybe you became an ignorant idiot because your mama didn’t love you, but as long as humans existed they wanted more out of sex than heteronormative missionary style boredom. Dommes want to have fun. They want to be happy and have a good time with their (sexual) play-partners. I don’t see where “hate” gets into this but maybe you do? As in “To hate is to have fun”? Well, I guess I have a big surprise for you! But I will not spoil it, I will let your psychotherapist explain. Just ask him about it. And don’t forget to give him my love!

You’re not a true Dom if you show soft emotions

Letting your sub know that you’re human may destroy his fantasy of being served by a real life porn hologram. It does not undermine the fact that you are dominant. If your sub thinks so, he needs to learn better. Let him write an essay on what serving you truly means or just make him bend over and beg for a spanking that’ll bring him to tears and make him feel owned and at his rightful place again. Though, if you are not prepared to go through a lot of trouble for this particular wanna-be-sub to make him see the error of his ways and truly accept your dominance and his submission to you, you would be better advised to leave him be. Sometimes, those guys only learn the hard way. That is: All by themselves, without prompting from a partner. Imagine him waking up in 20 years time and realizing he did you a great injustice with his demand that you have to leave your humanity behind to be allowed to be his Domme. And imagine all the good, loyal subs you can have those 20 years. All the fun!

People need to learn their own lessons. Relax. You don’t need to fight this battle. Do you!

Dommes are evil women

Dommes who fall pray to this prejudice tend to defend themselves all the time that they are not “one of the cliche Dominas” that they are, on the contrary, gentle and loving. Or they try to take away the argument by saying how much they enjoy being mean, unwomanly and evil.

Subs who subscribe to this stereotype tend to hate women.

What more to say to this?

I’ve never met a cliche Domme. Even the Pro-Dommes I know aren’t cliche all by themselves. They do it FOR THE CLIENTS! Get it? They do it because men want it! Exactly, some men love Dommes who play the bad girl. And some women want to play that kind of girl. And sometimes that can lead to men believing there is no other way to dominate than to demean and lash out in hate. But… Do you want a sub who can’t think for himself? Why do you address yourself to those guys, then?

Dommes always wear black, leather, latex and high heels

If you don’t wear one or all of these fetish clothes, you’re not a true Domme. Accordingly, you will have to prove to any stray sub, that you nevertheless truly are a dominant woman. And to yourself, of course. ALL THE TIME!

Also, many inexperienced subs believe, that they can spot a life style Domme by the style of clothes those women wear and are abt to complain to never meet dominant women in real life because the woman they’d like to date doesn’t wear a latex catsuit at work to the office.

Nonsense? Yes!

Being a life style Domme who is into D/s means you can wear whatever you want. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Doing what you want, being you, and being loved and cherished for being you by your sub, like you value your sub in turn.

Dommes are women who want to be men

Whoot?! Dommes are women who know what they want. And they will let you know. You better listen up, kiddo!

Does this particular myth come from the idea that only men can be assertive and strong of mind and body? Probably. Nevertheless, it’s still bullshit.

People into BDSM are weird and often stand outside society

You really should go to more BDSM munches! Like, really!

-This list doesn’t pretend to be conclusive.-

The best way to wake up after the weekends where she is away.

There is no wrong answer here for the submissive. Each act can be enjoyed. For the dominant though there is incredible power of their sub. They may allow all 4 or only the last. i will happily do them all where allowed. They all have a place.