Everyone Sees What You Appear To Be, Few Experience What You Really Are.

Mistress Vixen

How to fully control Your sub in 9 steps

1:  You  need to get into his head.

-Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.  Use this information against him and to Your advantage.

-Find out what humiliates him, and to what level.

-Make him show his loyalty to You regularly.  Reward him, even if it’s just with positive attention when he does.

- Aside from family, close friends and work, give him 0% privacy.  Don’t hide this process from him, make him partake in handing it over to you in ways that demonstrate how he is “losing the privacy.”  

-Make him need You for everything.  Point out how You help him, how You guide him, and how You accept the negative things about him that others may not.

- Hypnosis, especially while they are sleeping can help transfer messages, ideas and ideals about You deep into their faggot head.

2:  Punish him often for everything, no exceptions!

- Don’t let him get away with anything!  When You let your sub get away with something. You are telling him that You don’t care for him and that what he did was ok.

- You can Spank, paddle, or whip him.

- Humiliate him past what is easy for him.

- Long term bondage

- Corner time

- Food restrictions

- Writing standards/lines\

- Write a book report or essay.

- Ground him/take away privileges.

- Wash his mouth out with soap.

- Make him do anything he hates.

- Get creative and make the punishment match the crime.

- Never use separation or the threat of leaving/ending Your control over him as a punishment.  That is counterproductive to the end goal (trust and service) and is detrimental to the faggot.

3:  Routinely discipline him.  This is different than punishment.

- Spank him once a week, just because You can, not too hard, not too soft.

-Humiliate him often.

- 5-10 minuets of corner time a day can do wonders for him, like a sub’s meditation.

- If he is stressed, give him a break and put him in some comfy bondage for a while.  You may or may not want to integrate impact play with this.  For lots of subs, some pain can really help elevate their mode for the rest of the day or longer.

- Routine discipline will save You time and energy in the long run.  You will have to punish him less as a result.

- Taking care of You can be part of his discipline.  Have him do Your laundry, cleaning, etc.

4:  On some level, even if it’s small, keep Your sub horny for You.

- Talk sexy to him.

-Sexualize non sexual things/activities You are interested in. He will see whatever it is You’ve sexualized as such and be more interested/eager to engage.

- Have Your sub do some or all of Your body grooming. This can be Your baths, Your nails, shaving, trimming, waxing, etc.

- Scare him by telling him when and what You’re going to do to him in the near future.

- Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

- Make him give You orgasms.  This is different from sex.  This is a service.

- Let him rest on You to smell You as You watch TV or read.

- Give him underwear/items of Yours to smell as he sleeps.

- Hypnosis, especially while Your sub sleeps can help with this too.

5:  Control Your own feelings of guilt.

-      Your sub needs You to be strong “with” him.  You may show vulnerabilities in Yourself for other aspects of Your life. When it comes to him and Your control over him, be firm!

-      Some meanness and cruelty will be needed from time to time to help break Your sub down.

-      Your sub may not want everything You give him/ do to him, but he needs it.

-      Letting Your sub get away with insubordinate behavior because You feel guilty adequately and severely addressing it is weak.  You need to control that shit.

-      Sub faggots need a real man who is close to them to guide them.  Sometimes real men need to show the fag that they are inferior.  This can’t always be done by talking.  And if it is done my talking, the talking can’t be politically correct/kind.

-      Humiliation/breaking him down, teaching him to serve long term, these are all things he needs.  You are filling his needs.

-      Remember, You both need to be happy.  But happiness comes from different places for different people.  If there is communication, and Your sub has communicated that he needs this life to be happy, then You are doing him a service and loving him by breaking him down and controlling him.

-      A good sub is hard to find. Don’t let the guilt of giving him what he needs stop You from doing so. What he needs may be overwhelming for him and he may break. If he does be there for him.

6: Humiliate/degrade/break him down on some level daily, some days more than others.

- Have him wear a small butt-plug for a time, wifi enabled if possible.

- Have him be naked or close to it, around You and or Your friends.

- Make him wear a collar or other symbol of inferiority.

- Make him wear a chastity device sometimes.

- Teach them “tricks” like sit, drop to their knees to kiss Your crotch, etc.  In public or with friends randomly call out a trick every now then. Make sure Your sub does this flawlessly without hesitation.

- Make him masturbate for You.

- Slap him in the face.

- Spit on him.

- Treat him as an inferior in public.  (Ex: he carries all bags, opens doors, eats Your leftovers, holds Your drinks, tie Your shoes  etc.)

- Make him eat his own cum sometimes.

- Talk down to him in front of others

7: Rearrange his life/time to better serve/please You.  Make sure this does not interfere with his time with loved ones or work.

- If You want to change his body to Your liking, do so.  Control his workouts, diet etc.  Make sure and be realistic with this one.

- Make sure he is available during some of Your leisure time each week so he will be able to serve You during those times.

- Put him on a sleeping schedule.  Lots of fags are not able to adequately manage their sleep times.  The better rested he is, the better he will serve You.

- Go through his closet/things and throw away/put away any clothing You don’t like him to be wearing.

- Sign him up to learn new tasks or prefect tasks/skills that will help You.  (Ex: massage classes, cooking classes, pet care, etc.)

- Change their grooming habits to Your liking.

8: Help Your sub be grateful for everything he has.  Make sure You are at the top of that list.  One great way to do this is to deny him things.  Yep, it’s time to say “No.”  Subs need boundaries, and saying “No” is a great way to help them with those boundaries.

- You can take away certain foods, comforts, leisure time, sex, masturbation, etc.

- Make him show his gratitude to You often.  Faggots will show this to You in their own way. Most faggots will need some help/instruction on exactly how to show their gratitude to You.

- Make him explain why he deserves something. If he can’t explain why well enough. Then take it from him.

- You can take things/items from him that You know he does not need, but likes.  (Make sure he can afford for You to take them and that they are not of an additional value such as sentimental etc.)  Let him know from time to time that You enjoy something that You took from him.

- Offer him a reward of getting to have something back. Make what you give him back relevant to what You make him do. This could be sort or long term.  

9:  None of these actions will work without real trust.

- If Your sub is Your partner, let him know how much his sub-ass completes You and Your power.

-  If Your sub is not Your partner, make sure You two are real friends. That You appreciate how his inferiority completes you.  The more You two know about and do with each other. The more thoroughly You can control him.

-Part of trust on the subs part is trusting that You will follow through when You say You are going to do something to him or are going to make him do something.  Follow through always.

-  When a sub fully trusts You. He can submit to You his mind and privacy. Letting You go in and re-arrange/manage his life.

- Subs need constant reassurance.  Let him know that no matter what, he is Yours.  If a serious sub feels disposable. He will look for another Dom who appreciates his surrender.

- If Your life is getting too hard for a bit or You need help with something. Trust that Your sub will be able to take over for You and act in your best interest until You are back in shape.  Giving  sub this responsibility will either make him feel trusted and good, or upset that You are not actively controlling him 100% of the time.  If he gets upset and does not step up and take over for You. Then drop him like a hot potato.

-Talk to Your sub often.  Ask him how he is feeling, and let him honestly know how You are feeling on anything and everything.

- By taking things away from him, You are in a sense rewarding him when You give them back.  Also, nothing he has is his forever.  You need to re-take things and privileges away from him periodically so he knows they are a privilege and not a right.  Think of it like taking a food bowl away from a dog.  Your sub needs be docile enough that You can take his food bowl away from him as he is eating. He will not make a fuss and patiently wait until the food is returned

-Please note: Do not ever deny him from being with Friends or family.  Make him realize that the only reason You allow him to have constant contact/interaction with good friends and family is because he “helps” them by being a good friend or family member.  Make sure the he understands that the happiness that comes from being with them is “second” to the happiness that he brings them.  Basically, he needs to understand that if he pulls away from loved ones. While he is under Your control his loved ones will suffer. That is why he is allowed (and encouraged) to keep and/or strengthen the bonds he has with them.

Please note: The following is a list of things to control a sub only. Please do not implement these ideas if You do not care about and are not committed to Your sub.  This list is not all inclusive of how to treat Your sub.  This list leaves out the important kind necessities that Your sub needs such as reassurance, love, respect, being protected, allowed to be protective of You etc.  These ideas are for a long term 24/7 arrangements, not a scene.  Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things on the list that will work for You.

This is the way

Great ideas!!! Thank you

Use The Force

Even in the most secure relationships where effective communication between partners seems to come easily, it can be incredibly hard for a person to tell their partner, the one they trust and trusts them the most, their deepest desires and sexual fantasies. Why? Fear of rejection of course.

You love that person and want to be with them forever. Nothing would hurt you more than them leaving you and the last thing you want is for them to think you are a freak or sexual deviant, and leaving you because of it. The fact that it’s taboo makes it exciting, but it’s risky. For some, the risk is too great, and they keep these desires a secret from their partners forever.

Even if you finally become brave enough to confess these fantasies and kinks to your significant other, and they say they are fine with it, are they really? Are they just tolerating it or do they truly accept it? It can feel kind of selfish to ask your partner to engage in these fantasies, if you don’t know for sure that it’s also their thing. You will worry that they may eventually grow tired of having to indulge in your kinks and feel like nothing more then a fetish dispenser, something you can read people complaining about on online forums all the time.

So if your submissive partner bravely tells you their fantasies and you actually want to make them happy by sharing and indulging in them, what’s the best way to set their mind at ease and show that not only do you accept the fetish, but actively enjoy it yourself?

Use the force. Tell them that not only are you going to allow them to do it, you are going to make them do it! Forcing your submissive partner to do it will prove to them that their kink is indeed your kink too and will allow them to stop worrying about potential rejection and start truly enjoying the experience.   It will be much more exciting and intimate because you are actively taking a role in it, not just remaining passive and letting them indulge in their kink alone. No matter what kinky thing they are into, they will enjoy it twice as much if you force them to do it. You don’t have to force it all the time, but you should occasionally to spice things up and show a higher level of acceptance for what they like. Some things are tame, others are quite kinky, but all are more fun and exciting when you use the force.

Forced Kissing

What’s better than kissing your subby hubby? Grabbing him forcefully and pushing him up against the wall, taking his mouth with yours. Don’t forget to keep your hands busy fondling, feeling them up and pinching those sensitive nipples. if he doesn’t surrender completely, a gentle slap across the face will remind him who’s in charge.

Forced Cornertime

Whether for punishment or control, cornertime is great. You can just order him into the corner and I do it that way for punishment, withholding any extra attention from him. But when I do it for control, I will lead him into the corner by the hand, kiss him passionately, and gently force him nose first into the corner and handcuff his wrists behind him. It’s much more memorable, fun, and intimate for both of us this way.

Forced Bondage

My husband has always had a penchant for bondage and feels loved and wanted when restrained. I want him to feel really loved and wanted so I will stalk him around the house and when he least expects it, will show up with restraints in hand and demand his instant surrender. We have a rule that he is forbidden to ever refuse my restraints. If I want him gagged he will be gagged. I love locking his hands in fistmitts. It is so frustrating for him and makes him quite helpless.

Forced Confinement

Being locked in his cage is so much more sexy and enjoyable for both of us when I lead him into the room, remove all of his clothing myself, make him get down on all fours and using my hand on his forehead, push him backwards into his cage. I usually bend down and kiss his forehead before closing the door and locking it. There is something so satisfying  about locking him in his cage knowing that he is so completely under my control. I love how helpless it makes him. He cannot meet any of his most basic needs, like food, water, or go to the bathroom. As soon as the door is locked, I make him put on a diaper, as I have a policy of never unlocking him for bathroom breaks.

Forced Chastity

Ask any male who’s into chastity, and they will tell you it’s much more exciting when your wife or girlfriend actively locks his penis up herself instead of just ordering him to do it himself. I take it a step further by helplessly restraining him any time the chastity cage comes off, and never giving him any chance to touch his own bare penis. Some women allow supervised masturbation, but not me. I am, and will forever be, the source of any sexual pleasure that he is allowed to have.

Forced Oral

He really enjoys giving you pleasure in this way but it will be so much better for him if you forcefully make him do it. Don’t be afraid of a little hair pulling. It shows enthusiasm and will encourage him to put in more effort. Even if he is doing a great job, give him a little slap across the face and demand even more from him. When orgasm is near, feel free to take over and just grind yourself into his face. My husband loves it.

Forced Crossdressing

I once read online that any time you put pantyhose on a male, he will get an erection. I tried it on my husband and indeed, he was as hard as I’ve ever seen him. I was never interested in men who crossdress as it wasn’t my thing at all but seeing him so sexually aroused by it got me going too and now I enjoy dressing him up. It is a guilty pleasure for him, but with me making him do it, it makes it okay for him as he can justify it in his mind that he is doing it for me.

I have bought several satin bonnets and headscarves online in lovely pastel colors that he wears around the house and at bedtime.

It has been over 4 years now since he went a full day without his toenails painted, and I have a strict rule with harsh penalties for removing nailpolish from himself.

If he wears jeans, he has to wear pantyhose underneath, as I don’t allow rough textures like demin to touch his bare skin.

I bought him satin panties online, a set of seven pairs with the day of the week embroidered on, and punish him if he doesn’t wear them or wears the wrong pair on the wrong day of the week.

I have been high heel training him for years, starting with 2 inch heels and graduating him up an inch every year. He just recently started wearing 5 inch heels.

In the future, I want to buy him a corset and start waist training him.

Forced to Wear Buttplug

When he least expects it I come at him with a plug already prelubed, bend him over and insert it. It stays in until I remove it myself.

Forced Hair Removal

I shave my husband once a week. I restrain him standing, and taking my time, I take all his hair away from him. I prefer him completely hairless so I force him to be hairless. Much prettier now that I force him to wear women’s underwear and accessories.

Force Feeding Him Healthy Food

He doesn’t like vegetables very much so to ensure he stays healthy and eats enough, I make him eat them for a whole meal once a week. I cut them up in bite sized chunks, and make him eat them off of a plate on the floor without using his hands, like a dog. I stand over him with my riding crop ready in case he needs encouragement to eat every last bite and lick the plate clean afterwards.

Forced Bottle Feeding

My husbands doctor told him that he wasn’t drinking enough water each day, so I fill baby bottles full of water and schedule him to suckle them twice a day. He will be punished for missing his bottle time. I make him hold the bottle with both hands until it is empty. It’s humiliating and fun for him.

Forced Petplay

When ever I say ‘puppyluv’, he has to get down on all fours and remain silent, or he will be punished. I sometimes keep him like this for a few hours and he has to follow me around the house, always trying to keep me in sight.