medieval heart-shaped prayer book in a medieval painting and in real life
I think it's really important in deity worship that you just do it. Sometimes when I'm feeling uninspired I can't feel the gods around me. But it's still important work to be done. Today I did yoga to get my body moving and prayed to Atum for creativity and motivation. I gave little lettuce wraps but I didn't feel anything profound. Deity worship doesn't always feel highly spiritual. Sometimes it's just going through the motions and making sure that you act the way that you promised. I think it's really damaging to say that you need to feel something every time you engage with spirit.
My faith in the gods comes in waves. There are times when I feel so dedicated, so full of love that I get emotional just thinking about the gods. Then there are other times where I feel so disconnected to them that they may as well solely be the statues on their altars - unknowable.
I've come to realize that it's ok for my faith to be so inconsistent. It's not required for us to have 100% of our faith 100% of the time. The gods understand that, like most things in life, faith comes in wave, receding back just to return in full force soon after.
So, it's ok if you feel disconnected. It's ok if you feel faithless. Give yourself time, and things will improve.