Beetlejuice’s Guide To Scaring People.

Beetlejuice’s Guide To Scaring People.

Also from Cracked’s October 1988 issue.  A lot of you may have no idea who or what the jokes refer to.  Google, or ask a Boomer like me. ;-)

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More Posts from Beetlebabey and Others

5 years ago
YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS
YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS
YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS
YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

5 years ago

This is adorable UwU

Hiya! Doodle request for sad Beej getting cuddles?

Hiya! Doodle Request For Sad Beej Getting Cuddles?
Hiya! Doodle Request For Sad Beej Getting Cuddles?
Hiya! Doodle Request For Sad Beej Getting Cuddles?

sorry this took so long! i was having trouble with the pose.. but i like how it turned out


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5 years ago

If I write a BJ X Reader what one should I start with?

smut prompts

“Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

“I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

“You’re not going out in that outfit.”

“Don’t give me that look.”

“You’re more than just a one night stand.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“You want me to give you your book/phone/item back? Make me.”

“Like what you see?”

“Try to stay quiet, understand?”

“We’re in public, you know.”

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“Dont be so rough. there cant be any marks.”

“I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now.”

“Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop.”

“No, i’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

“Make me.”

“Stop teasing me so much..”

“You’re in trouble now.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“I’m waiting.”

“First one to make a noise loses.”

“Mine.”

“We cant do that here!”

“Behave.”

“What did you just say?”

“Come here.”

“Watch me.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”

“If you cant sleep…then how about we have sex?”

“Put that thing away!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Bite me.”

“If you insist.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“You taste like fucking candy.”

“The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

“You make a sound and its game over.”

“Just let me finish this/this level and i swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“If i have to stop what i’m doing, you wont be able to walk for the next week.”

“I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?”

“U-uh..no, i was just..”

“Want some help?”

“Shut up.”

“Why don’t you come over here and make me.”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“C’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working.”

“What? Does that feel good?”

“I’m not jealous! its just…you’re mine!”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“We have to be quiet.”

“Tell me again.”

“You have no idea how much i want you.”

“Say it.”

“If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning?”

“Wow, i didn’t realize you were that…flexible.”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

“You better shut that pretty little mouth before i put it to work, doll.”

“I think thats the first time i’ve heard you moan…it was like a fucking melody.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Then do it.”

“You’re not taking me to bed. ever.”

“Who said it had to be on the bed?”

“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“For the love of fuck.”

“Yep, thats me. I love to fuck.”

“How do i look?”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“Don’t fucking touch what is not yours.”

“You don’t need to cover up the bruises/hickeys.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“We’re…..just friends.”

“Friends don’t do this kind of shit!”

“How quickly can you cum?”

“There’s people here.”

“I know.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m up for it if you are.”

“Don’t ruin the sofa.”

“Ill just have to cum inside you then.”

“Stop dancing like that or i’m going to cum in my pants.”

“I’m not going to touch you unless you beg.”

“You cant tease me like that and expect not to be punished.”

“I’m gonna strangle you.”

“Is that a promise?”

“You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later?”

“Stop distracting me.”

“Were you touching yourself?”

“I know they’re just stuffed animals but doesn’t it feel weird? its like they’re watching us.”

“That’s probably the fastest i’ve ever done that.”

“Please, remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?”

“I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.”

“We’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!”

“It was so worth the injury though!”

“Saddle up doll.”

“Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? ‘Cause if you did we’re having sex. Right now.”

“Your ass is going to be seven different shades of red after that little stunt.”

“God damnit, now all i can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.”

“If i have to pull over, you wont be able to walk for the next week.”

“Do you think they can hear us through the tent?”

“Yes we can.”

“What are you doing in my bed?!”


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5 years ago

This is so cute omg

ok here’s a little cute beej x oc/reader headcanons for my beetlebitches

okay so like,,, beej sometimes likes to make little scribbled drawings of you and him and like hes not good at drawing but its the cutest thing ever and youve saved every single one of them


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5 years ago

Are there any kids in the audience? Uhh, ah!

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

Puppet show!!!

Mr beebwleboose,

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

Yes book?

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

Where do books go when they die??

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

Well...

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

I don’t know book...

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

Let’s find out!!

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

*yeet*

*fwoosh*

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!

Tell- my, storyy...

.......sometimes puppet shows,

are sad :)

Are There Any Kids In The Audience? Uhh, Ah!
5 years ago

Irving Burgie, Songwriter Who Helped Bring Calypso To America, Dies At 95.

His songs were made famous by Harry Belafonte, and included in the Beetlejuice movie.

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Here’s a Beetlejuice “Banana Boat Song” music video which ends with Belafonte getting in a cab driven by Beej.  It’s the only time Michael Keaton appeared as Beej other than the movie.

5 years ago

This art style is so cute and they made Barbara, Lydia and Beetlejuice look adorable as hell

This post isn't Beetlebabes

OP doesn't want this tagged as Beetlebabes either so don't tag it if you reblog this.

Beetle-(dumbbitch)-juice Doodles
Beetle-(dumbbitch)-juice Doodles

Beetle-(dumbbitch)-juice doodles


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5 years ago

Today's Beetlebabes positivity post ÛwÛ

You are all wonderful people who ship Beetlebabes and remember that you are cared about and loved 💚🖤💚

Today's Beetlebabes Positivity Post ÛwÛ

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5 years ago

Yeetlejuice

Yeetlejuice
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beetlebabey - Just a beetlebabe
Just a beetlebabe

I'm just a beetlebabe and I'm calling myself a beetlebabe because I'm a Beetlejuice fanboy come at me and also because I ship Beetlebabes FYI Anti shippers, please stay away it would do both of us a favour

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