Imagine If Doorways Grew Back Like Scabbed Over With Fresh Drywall And You Had To Keep Carving Them Back

Snakes

aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

I'm sorry I keep posting my tiktok comments but please. What does this mean. What do people THINK shipping is for anymore???

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

Man I miss them can jan 24th come already

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

Mold spore <3

There’s a Tawny Frogmouth chick currently at Zoo Atlanta, and it looks like an adorable (slightly grumpy) cotton ball!

Today it's the only day you can reblog it

I’m starting a collection.

I was gonna make a joke about how I say “I need to go the circus again” the way people used to say they need to go to the sea to balance their humors. But I realized the circus balances humors too