•boys Round Here

Here in America we have to suffer, save the KFC, rescue eighteen bald eagles, wear the American flag proudly across our shoulders, carry firearms, and run from the murderer, then file a lawsuit against them for endangerment of the bald eagle.

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Come get this dick-fil-a

“now cha cha real smooth!”

*metal grinding and creaking*

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

today on white culture

i swear to god one of the young moms on my fb said her kid went to another kids birthday party and the birthday boy was named oven

when will dan and phil make a full length youtube video with thomas sanders

THIS IS SO G*DDAMN FLUFFY I CANT

KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK

Relationship with Phil

big spoon/little spoon: Phil is the big spoon mostly because it’s hard to be the little spoon to a tall skinny giant. Good thing he would much rather face you so he can give you little kisses.

favourite non-sexual activity: Walking around the park on a nice day holding your hand and talking about weird facts. 

who uses all the hot water: Phil does because he is busy singing in the shower or thinking of video ideas. “What takes so long you have like no hair.” “I have to find my towel to dry my hands so I can put my ideas in my notes on my phone.”

The most trivial thing they fight over: How to sit on the couch. He wants to cuddle you but it’s hard when he want to have his laptop on his lap. “I am not comfortable like this.” “Try moving your one leg over more.” “I’m not a freaking pretzel.”

who does most of the cleaning: Phil cleans the bedroom because he likes everything in its place. Otherwise, you guys just switch off. “I washed the dishes yesterday. It’s so your turn.”

what has a season pass on their DVR/who controls the Netflix queue: You guys use Phil’s account for Netflix. Usually, you let him pick unless the two of you are in bed and you just want something mindless to slightly watch. Then he lets you pick whatever.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Phil. He mostly bull shits the whole time that he knows what he is doing. But he is damn good at it.”

who steals the blankets: You do. But only because Phil has banned you from putting your feet on him in the middle of the night when there cold.

who leaves their stuff around: “Phil? could you possibly move the light from my side of the bed when you’re done filming?” “Sorry I forgot.” “It’s fine. It just feels like were about to shoot a porno in here.” “Eww, y/n.”

who remembers to buy the milk: You. The both of you will get back when Phil pauses trying to remember if you guys grabbed one. “Love, did you remember that we needed milk?” “Yes, Phil. You were trying to pick out apples when I grabbed it.” “Good.”

who remembers anniversaries: Phil has his shit planned at least a month in advance. 

Who cooks normally?: You do. Phil is really good at making sure it isn’t poisoned throughout the process with all his taste tests.

How often do they fight?: Never. If you guys have a disagreement it never escalates to a full blown fight. 

What do they do when they’re away from each other?: Phil shoots his videos when your not home because you distract him. Or because your singing in the kitchen doing dishes and he hates to ask you to stop because it’s so cute. When you’re without Phil you are usually with friends because he has made you hate being alone. You were fine until he spoiled you with his constant presence.

Nicknames for each other?: You call Phil Love and Hun. He pretty much has no first name just bean. He usually calls you Love or Pet. If he really wants your attention he calls you sweetheart.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner?: Phil. You insist you can pay and that it’s your turn but he could care less.

What would they get each other for gifts?: You get Phil shoes or candy. He really loves both. Phil gets you that thing in your shopping cart online because he knew you were waiting for it to go on sale.

Who kissed who first?: Phil kissed you first. After your second date, he was dropping you off and just as you were turning to leave he grabbed you and spun you around for a kiss.

Who made the first move?: You were the first one to initiate hand holding. Phil kept brushing his hand against yours in a nervous way wanting to grab it but chickening out. Really you were just filling the space between the two of you.

Who remembers things?: Phil does. “How did you know I even like this?” “I’m sure you told me at some point.”

Who started the relationship?: You asked Phil what the two of you were and that’s when Phil asked you to actually start dating.

Who cusses more?: You. Phil uses fake curse words. 

What would they do if the other was hurt?: Phil would rush to you as you tell him your fine. He would continue to bombard you with questions way after even though you have said you are fine like a million times.

I also did a Dan one.

Reblog if you would be devastated if you found out one of your followers committed suicide.

when will dan and phil make a full length youtube video with thomas sanders

Willy Wonka sent out his chocolate bars worldwide, and 5 white kids (4 with first-world problems) still won.

when will dan and phil make a full length youtube video with thomas sanders