Aww.

Malleus. I love you, but good GOD, you’re such a goofy goober

He did not learn a single thing...

Pater Meus (Part 1)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Lilia, Malleus, (Y/n) (gender neutral) & miscellaneous characters

Word count: 1,039 words

Warnings: Death of parents, mention of blood, mention of stab wounds, mention of robbery, police officers (no police brutality) bodies/corpses

Author’s Note: Pater Meus is Latin for “My Father.” Also, (M/m/n) means "Mother's maiden name.”

“Now wait just a moment, little one” said Lilia to (Y/n). “I’ll have your milk warmed up for you.”

Despite not understanding what Lilia had just said, hearing the word “milk” was enough to make (Y/n) happy.

The only person in the kitchen who wasn’t happy was Malleus. It wasn’t that he disliked children. On the contrary, he thought they were the most precious beings in existence. What was upsetting him was not knowing how & why Lilia came into possession of (Y/n). As far as he’s aware, Lilia doesn’t have any partner, so the chances of them being related are slim to none. As much as it pained Malleus to interrupt this blissful moment, he had to know the truth. “Lilia. I must inquire about how you came into possession of this adorable infant” asked Malleus.

No response came from Lilia as he was too busy humming a tune while warming a small cauldron of milk.

“Lilia. I know you can hear me. Answer my question” said Malleus with a hint of frustration in his tone.

Lilia, heading over to the food storage, chirped to himself “You know. I wonder if they’ll like mashed peas. They appear to be old enough to have some.”

“Lilia.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see what foods (Y/n) will love!”

“Lilia!”

“Maybe I can also give them some-”

“LILIA!”

Annoyed, Lilia turned around & looked at Malleus. “What do you want?”

Satisfied that Lilia’s finally paying attention to him, Malleus calmed down. “What I want to know is why all of a sudden, you’re taking care of that child.”

“What’s wrong with taking care of a child” asked Lilia, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing, Lilia. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with providing love & care for a child” said Malleus as Lilia walked past him with some peas & carrots.

“Then there’s nothing more to discuss about little (Y/n).”

Being completely dumbfounded by Lilia’s behavior, Malleus asked himself what happened to (Y/n)’s biological parents. As the two faes returned to the kitchen, Malleus wondered if they'd willingly given up their child to Lilia. That seemed unlikely as he was being defensive when being asked about (Y/n)’s origin. An extremely unfortunate event must have befallen their parents in order for Lilia to be their new guardian. As much as it pained Malleus to accuse Lilia of anything, he had no other choice. “Lilia? Did you… murder (Y/n)’s parents?”

.

.

.

“They were already dead when I met (Y/n).”

“… What” Malleus tried his best to speak, but he was too stunned to do so. “How?”

“Here’s how I remembered the events that transpired several months ago” Lilia stated before telling his story on how he met (Y/n)

Several months ago…

The cry of an infant. A sound Lilia had least expected when traversing a forest, yet that is exactly what he heard. Before entering the clearing where the cry was coming from, Lilia detected the scent of blood.

Upon entering the clearing, Lilia saw a pair of humans brutally stabbed with several torn bags around their bodies. “Whatever they’ve had, it must’ve been valuable enough for someone to murder them for it” Lilia thought to himself before noticing a medallion that the presumed mother wore. “The House of (M/m/n). I remembered one of their ancestors fighting valiantly in the last war the Valley of Thorns has had.” Before he could speculate as to how this gruesome crime scene could’ve happened, Lilia decided to call a few police officers from the closest town to investigate it.

After a few days, they were able to identify (Y/n)’s parents as well as the identities of the perpetrators thanks to their advanced magic. It was only a matter of catching them.

“Officer. What exactly shall happen to the child?” asked Lilia.

“We’ll have to see if their parents have left a will stating who shall take in the child upon their passing. If not, we’ll have to contact their closest relatives about the situation. If by this point we still can’t find anyone willing to take them in, they’ll end up in the foster care system” replied the officer.

Putting a hand to his chest, Lilia declared himself as (Y/n)’s guardian should there be no one willing to raise them.

“You are aware of the lengthy process in order to adopt a child, correct?” asked the officer. “Not only that, there’s also the chance that several of this child’s family members will want to be their guardian.”

“That doesn’t matter to me. This poor child had their parents taken away from them & I wish to provide them with as much love & care as possible” stated Lilia with passion like no other.

“Right. Let’s see what the Family Court has to say” the officer murmured.

End of flashback…

Upon hearing the entire story, Malleus was left speechless. How could he respond to all of this? He simply couldn’t.

“Unfortunately for (Y/n), none of their relatives seemed interested in adopting them” Lilia told Malleus.

“That’s stupid” Malleus slammed his fist on the table, causing (Y/n) to cry. “(Y/n) is a delightful, sweet infant! I swear when I find the ones who killed (Y/n)’s parents, there’ll be hell to pay!”

“Malleus! That’s enough” yelled Lilia as he scooped (Y/n) into his arms. “The officers got this under control. They’ll find the criminals soon enough.” Before bottle feeding (Y/n) their milk, Lilia soothed their nerves by talking sweetly to them.

Malleus clenched his fists at the thought of these scumbags roaming the world freely. “But what if they don’t find them, Lilia? What if these filthy beasts get away with this? They should experience the same pain (Y/n)’s parents felt in their final moments.”

“While I agree with your sentiments, we shouldn’t get involved in this situation. We would both face consequences far greater than we could ever handle” Lilia warned Malleus.

In response, Malleus sighed & slumped in his chair. How it pained him greatly to know that he couldn’t avenge (Y/n)’s parents.

Lilia, seeing his prince in a foul mood, handed (Y/n) to him after they were done drinking their milk.

Seeing (Y/n) brought a small smile to Malleus’s lips. “Worry not, little one. You’re in good hands.”

HOW ABOUT WE DON'T SUPPORT THIS STUPID ASS BILL?!

🚨🚨🚨URGENT PLEASE READ AND REBLOG

dec 13, 2022

we literally have just a few days to act. the senate is debating about putting KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act, into the omnibus spending bill. if it is added, it WILL pass. despite the title and content of the bill seeming to be about protecting kids, we know everytime someone claims they are "saving the children" they have more sinister goals

which is why Senator Blumenthal is working with one of the biggest transphobes in the senate, Marsha Blackburn, to force this bill through, and claiming they are listening to LGBT voices when they are blatantly ignoring us.

essentially this bill gives every state attorney generals the power to remove anything they deem 'harmful' to kids online. you can see how a state like Texas or Florida would run with that, yes? it also forces you to upload your government ID online to access the internet. the bill will create a 'commission' led by handpicked members of the govt to oversee what is and isn't allowed online. it will lead to mass censorship of anything related to race or LGBT content. in a post-Roe world too? say goodbye to any abortion/sex-related info.

they are doing a shit ton of PR for this, including claiming they are listening to LGBT voices. i mean just look.

two weeks ago, 90+ human rights, LGBT, and tech orgs signed onto an open letter telling Senators NOT to pass this bill. in response, over 230 orgs led by the American Psychological Association signed a letter urging senators to. it's really fucking bad. like i can't sleep because of this. i didn't expect this to happen. we really really need people to speak up.

if this bill goes through it will literally kill off the internet as we know it

sign the open letter and petitions against KOSA here

the best way to fight against this bill is to call these specific senators (if you have dem senators, call them too)

maria cantwell (202) 224-3441

chuck schumer (202) 224-6542

nancy pelosi (202) 225-4965

call script below:

Hello Senator __:

My name is _, and I strongly urge you to oppose the dangerously misguided KOSA bill from being added to the omnibus spending bill. Bills like this should not be included in spending bills. Over 90 human rights and LGBT organizations have spoken out against this bill.

KOSA gives state attorney generals full power to sue any website if they see it has anything that is “inappropriate for children”'. For the past year, Republicans claimed everything LGBT is “grooming” children and we ended up with a shooting in Colorado and bomb threats sent to hospitals, NO senator should support a bill with vague phrasing like this. Before that, they successful removed books on race due to "CRT". This gives them a pass to do this to the entire internet. KOSA will only lead to more harm towards minorities and LGBT youth across the nation by censoring everything online.

The Heritage Foundation said they will use KOSA to target LGBT kids, specifically trans kids. In a post-Roe world, they will even use KOSA to censor resources on abortion. Anything they dislike will be targeted.

A bill this huge and this impactful should not be added to any spending bill. Even if it was a small bill, it has nothing to do with the omnibus spending bill and shouldn't be added at ALL. It needs more time being discussed. There should be hearings on it as well

We all care about kids mental health. We all want to hold Big Tech accountable, but this is NOT it. This will give Big Tech more power while taking away resources from the most vulnerable children. It is not the solution.

Please, do NOT support this bill. Do the right thing, and VOTE NO on KOSA.

Wtf, I'm about to cry now!

Jade just wanted to watch the world burn & this was the most brilliant way to do it.

4k Follower Special

In which (Y/n) decides to perform at the Mostro Lounge to earn some money for renovating Ramshackle.

The song she has chosen? Dear Future Husband.

And rumours say that tickets are sold out.

Idea by @vallison-rea

"Is my superstar for the evening ready?"

Azul's excited voice rang through the changing room you currently occupied. The sound of the door being closed gently and his footsteps padding against the floor caused you to turn around and shoot him a small smile as soon as you lay eyes on him. Despite the anxiety that simmered in the depths of your stomach, the excitement that rushed through your veins left you unable to sit still — much to Grim's dismay, who was currently doing your make-up.

A restless huff escaped your lips when Azul appeared behind you, his gloved hands resting on your shoulders. His eyes watched you through the mirror in front of you as he waited for your answer.

Taking in a deep breath, you exclaimed, "Yes, I am—" Yet, the grin on your face disappeared when suddenly, a cloud of dust enveloping your head caused you to break down into coughs. Once the air cleared up, you found your cat companion grinning at you innocently, his paws smeared full with make-up. You shot him a glare. "Grim, that's enough powder!"

The cat monster waved you off and instead began dusting you with perfume. "Yada, yada... one can never wear enough make-up!" he muttered while drawing a lipstick from behind his back, causing you to swipe it out of his hands and firmly plant it on the table before he could cause further trouble.

Behind you, Azul let out a chuckle of amusement. "Are you nervous?" he asked and tilted his head to the side teasingly.

The corners of your lips trembled at his question. "Kind of—"

"You shouldn't be," he cut you off briskly, his eyes full of confidence as his gaze growing more intense. You gulped and sank into your seat, feeling the pressure on you growing, as did his grip on your shoulders. But before he could hurt you, he removed his hands and crossed them behind his back, a charming smile on his face. "Just give it your all. All the seats are sold out, and we wouldn't want to disappoint the customers, no?"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. "Yes, Azul..." A hum of satisfaction escaped his lips, and he turned around to leave you to your own devices. Yet, another matter that lingered in the back of your mind still wouldn't leave you be. So, before he could walk through the door, you suddenly piped up, "I'll get the money immediately after the show is over, won't I?"

The merman came to a halt, then slowly turned around to nod. "As promised, dear. As promised."

Satisfied with his answer, you averted your gaze to the mirror in front of you again, not noticing as Azul remained in the door frame, his arms crossed and his statue leaning against the frame.

Grim, who had been quietly rolling a lipstick between his paws so far, turned his attention to you and grabbed your hands with his paws. "Now, go out there and get us that money! I'm sick of sleeping on that dusty old mattress..." he exclaimed, his eyes full of high expectations. You were about to wave him off in mild annoyance, but were stunned into silence when his usually so boisterous blue eyes revealed a sheen of worry. "But— But! Beware of those simps, alright? Come back in one piece."

His genuine concern caused a smile to appear on your lips. "Don't worry about it, Grim. They're harmless," you muttered under your breath while patting his head.

Yet, the worry that laced his face still wouldn't disappear. "They better be," he growled, "or else the great Grim is going to tear their heads off!"

Before you could assure him that everything would be alright, Azul interrupted the moment by exclaiming, "Alright, now— showtime!" Without even waiting for a reply from your side, he pulled you out of your chair with the excitement of a child and led you down the hallway that led to the backstage area of the lounge.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes in amusement, practically being able to see Madol signs in his eyes.

Azul came to a halt just behind the curtains, where Jade was already waiting to press a microphone into your trembling hands. Both of them wished you good luck before retreating, leaving you on the dark stage all by yourself. Behind the curtains, you could already hear murmurs and whispers — you gulped at the thought of how many people must be be on the other side.

Suddenly nervous, you gazed down at yourself and smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles on your (F/c) dress. And just as you were sure you had eliminated the last flaw of your gown, the curtains began to move aside; the brightness of the lights turning on at the same time almost blinded you. Simultaneously, someone announced, "We present you now: (Y/n), Prefect of Ramshackle, performing the song 'Dear Future Husband'!" You recognised that voice as Jade's.

Once your eyes got used to the blinding lights, you realised just how many students were seated in front of you — so Azul hadn't exaggerated when he said that tickets for the show were sold out. You were even able to discern some familiar faces at the tables. Your knees suddenly grew weak, but determination flooded your thoughts when the music began to play from the speakers attached all around the lounge.

So, taking on last breath, your eyes then shot open, determined to give them their money's worth.

"Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you began softly while making your way towards the staircase that led down to the tables. If Azul wanted you to put on a show, then you would gladly fulfill his wish. Still clutching the microphone tightly in your hands, you ventured over to the closest table. "My one and only all my life~"

Your eyes fell on a familiar ginger-haired Heartslabyul student, who seemed to be recording a video of you. You sauntered over to him and shot him a wink, smiling right into the camera. "Take me on a date! I deserve a break~" Cater laughed along, as carefree as usually, and zoomed in when you blew him a kiss. "And don't forget the flowers every anniversary," you finished before moving on again.

Cater was grinning to himself as he lowered his phone and began furiously typing in hashtags. "#worthit, #everyonesgonnabejealous, #azulisagenius." Then, in utter satisfaction, he posted the video to his MagiCam account.

Your next victim sat right next to him, a fellow Heartslabyul member — good old Trey. A little chuckle escaped his lips when you grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "'Cause if you'll treat me right, I'll be the perfect wife," you sang and made him spin you around, as if dancing a waltz. "Buying groceries— Buy-buying what you need." Before you parted again, he was sly enough to press a kiss to your knuckles.

The gesture caught you off-guard at first, but you quickly regained your composure after a few giggles. With a heavy heart, you removed your hand from his and continued along your way.

Ruggie came into view, and he looked excited when he noticed that your attention lay on him. So, once your free hand came down to rest on his shoulder, he began snickering, like he always did. "You got that 9 to 5," you chanted while playfully kneading his tense shoulder with your hand, drawing a relieved sigh from his lips. "But, baby, so do I~" A disappointed frown grew on his face when you removed your hand and sauntered away.

"So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies." A chuckle escaping your lips, you booped Epel's nose, who let out an annoyed grumble at your gesture. You couldn't help but swoon when an adorable pout appeared on his face, which served to only irritate him even further.

Your eyes roamed the room for your next subject — and they landed on Jamil. The poor Scarabia student sank into his seat and pulled the hood over his face when he noticed you approaching. But his attempt to disappear was fruitless with how you nonetheless wrapped an arm around him and put your chin on his head. "I never learned to cook," you sang, swearing that you could feel him tremble beneath you. "But I can write a hook, so sing along with me." Eventually, you took pity on the poor boy, and since Floyd — who sat next to him — seemed so eager to have you around him next, you let Jamil be.

Just as you got into the near vicinity of Floyd, he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his lap, much to your surprise. Nonetheless, you appreciated that his hold on you was loose enough to allow you to breathe properly and to escape should you want to. So, smiling, you chanted, "Sing-sing along with me, hey!" And indeed, Floyd hummed along, very reminiscent of a young child — but when he flashed his sharp teeth to you, you sank into yourself in fear.

A nervous smile on your face, you unwrapped yourself from his grasp and rose to your feet again. The second-year made a few attempts of grabbing you again, but you managed to evade his swipes and simply continued on your way through the tables.

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady," you sang while intentionally bumping against Leona. "Even when I'm acting crazy." The beastman shot you an annoyed look, followed by an amused scoff.

Next to the dorm leader sat Jack, whose fluffy white hair you ruffled. "Tell me everything's alright~" you continued and hurried away before he could send you a threatening glare. The poor wolf remained frozen in his seat, his cheeks tinted a dark red.

As you walked past the Diasomnia table, you shot Sebek a wink, knowing his reaction would be hilarious. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you sang, accompanied by a few giggles. "My one and only all my life~" And indeed, the poor half-fae turned beet red, a series of stuttered insults escaping his lips.

Malleus' eyes were filled with hidden yearning as you seemed to walk right past him, but the pout on his face actually managed to make you turn around and approach him again. "Dear future husband, if you wanna have a special night walk," you cooed and patted his hand that openly lay on the table, fearing that a more daring gesture would get you killed by a certain retainer of his. "Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night." The dragon fae nodded eagerly and watched you intensely as you disappeared into the crowd again.

When you reappeared behind Epel and put a hand on his shoulder, a startled yelp escaped his lips. He sat there, frozen — unwilling to move his upper body left and right along with you to tye rhythm. "After every fight, just apologise. And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right," you sang jokingly, unable to take yourself seriously, resulting in a series of chuckles escaping your lips.

When you distanced yourself from Epel's table again, his eyes were filled with utter confusion. He even turned to Rook for help, but the hunter was busy laughing his soul out, especially when he gazed into the first-year's lost eyes.

"Even if I was wrong. You know I'm never wrong," you cooed and wrapped an arm around Deuce and Ace each. "Why disagree? Why, why disagree?" They nodded along to your singing, laughing and smiling as they always did. Deuce looked mildly nervous with how close you stood to him, and a relieved sigh escaped his lips when you removed your arms again and skipped off into the centre of the lounge.

"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy~" you sang and twirled around in circles. The adrenaline pumped through your veins, and you were having the time of your life despite the doubts you had been plagued with earlier. "Tell me everything's alright~" Completely caught in the moment, you would have bumped against a table, if it weren't for an occupant of that particular table jumping up and catching you beforehand.

A gasp escaped your lips at how close of a call it had been. You soon where propped to your feet again by your saviour, who was none other than Lilia. You shot him a grateful smile. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you continued smoothly, all the while looking him deep in the eyes. For a moment, only the ancient fae and you seemed to exist. "My one and only all my life~" A charming grin flashed across his face when you bid him a goodbye with a curtsy.

Your eyes were fixated on Vil, your mind rumbling about what to do with him. Touching him in any way was a no-go — he would snap at you for bringing his hair, clothes, or make-up out of order. So, you simply shot him a wave, at which he quirked an eyebrow. "Dear future husband, make time for me," you sang, the lyrics causing his lips to quirk up in amusement. "Don't leave me lonely~" He waved you off, chuckling.

With Rook on the other hand, you decided to go all out. "And no, we'll never see your family more than mine!" you continued while grabbing his signature hat and lowering it onto your own head. Laughing, you struck a few poses with it.

A playful gasp escaped the hunter's lips, his face contorted into an expression that spoke of adoration. The way his amused green eyes seemed to hold you in place made it difficult for you to turn around and walk away, but you eventually managed to tear your gaze away from him, much to his disappointment. Unable to refrain from giggling, you returned the hat to its rightful owner.

Your feet somehow carried you back to the Diasomnia table, where you approached the only sleeping occupant, who managed to not be disturbed by all the noise around him somehow — Silver. You nudged his shoulder, causing him to fall into Lilia, who seemed amused by the whole situation. "I'll be sleeping on the left side of the bed," you cooed and shot Silver a wink when he awoke from his slumber. Due to how disoriented he seemed, it looked like he didn't have the faintest clue of what was happening.

"Open doors for me and you might get some kisses~" you sang as you walked past Jade, making sure to wiggle your eyebrows at him jokingly. The gesture caused a little chuckle to escape his lips.

"Don't have a dirty mind," you cooed and booped Kalim's nose. "Just be a classy guy." With how innocent the Scarabia dorm leader was, he began laughing and cheering for you as you continued to the next table.

There, you found your next victim — Azul. A grin occupied your face when you looked him dead in the eyes and sang, "Buy me a ring. Buy-buy me a ring, babe." You held your free hand out to him, causing him to chuckle in amusement. His eyes watched you intensely while you skipped to the adjacent table.

Riddle sat there, and his face already had turned red without you even doing anything — just looking at him and winking was enough to make his cheeks become as red as his hair. "You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy." Giggling, you bowed deeply — just like you had seen Deuce often do, but this time, the gesture held a teasing connotation to it. "Tell me everything's alright~" When you straightened your back again, you found steam of embarrassment coming out of the dorm leader's ears.

Proud of yourself, you carried on — your sights set on the floating tablet in a shadowy corner. "Dear future husband, here's a few things you'll need to know if you wanna be~" you chanted while drawing a heart onto the screen of the tablet with your index finger. "My one and only all my life!" No sound came out of the tablet's speakers, but you swore you could hear a sound akin to some wires short-circuiting.

The end of the song was nearing, and for that, you hurried back to the stage. Once having arrived there, you finished, "Future husband, better love me right~" Your voice rang through the large lounge, and you put every ounce of your remaining energy into the grand finale.

Eventually, the music came to a halt and faded out into silence. Your chest heaving up and down, you opened your eyes to find everyone frozen in their seats. Yet, that quickly changed, and the quietness that used to envelop the lounge quickly turned into defeaning applause. Students rose from their seats and clapped and cheered their souls out.

"Thank you, thank you!" you cried out happily and bowed.

Students threw roses onto the stage, causing a large smile to appear on your lips. Careful not to pick up a rose with a thorny stem, you grabbed the one that lay by your feet and twirled it between your fingers. By then, the applause had faded out, and everyone was watching you again, as if they had been enchanted.

"That was (Y/n) with 'Dear Future Husband'," the announcer piped up. "But one question remains: who will be her dear future husband?"

"Me!" almost everyone yelled out at once.

Your heart sank in dread when the guests all began glaring at one another, some expressing their hostility more openly than others. That was the moment you realised: you had messed up.

HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER!

She loves me, she loves me not.. 🌼

Wtf, this is genuinely disturbing.

more perfect union on twitter. 7/25/21

[Tweet from user More Perfect Union @ MorePerfectUS:

EXCLUSIVE: Frito-Lay worker Brandon Ingram was severely electrocuted on the job, disabled and denied medical care. Now Brandon, his wife, and children are being stalked and secretly filmed by company agents. This is the most disturbing Frito-Lay story we’ve covered.]

Important! Read this post first!

Welcome to my humble, little blog where I’ll occasionally post various creative works of mine.

WARNING

While this is a mostly SFW blog, it will contain NSFW posts, so minors DNI.

Rules (subject to change whenever I feel like it)

Shows, games, etc. I’m currently into: 

Twisted Wonderland

Cookie Run: OvenBreak

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss.

Even if your favorite series doesn’t appear on this list, don’t hesitate to send me an ask about them.

My masterlist

Man I remembered playing this back in high school. Part of me wishes for this game to come back, but at the same time, I feel like I’m not gonna be super hyped about playing it again.

Demon tamer

Watch how this was made HERE!

Bday gift for my homie @nature-led what is that, the 5th username you had over the years?, featuring our bae main from a dead game.

I actually made this whole thing a month ago, cuz I’m usually late with gifts. Not this time ;)

Tried doing a human for a change, also lineart, cuz I recently-ish discovered 2 tricks to help with lineart. Still find lineart annoying, those 2 do help a lot though.

this might be my laziest background in a while

———

Commission info | | | Youtube | | | Instagram | | | Deviantart

(Raises own hand) Same.

if you would be so kind as to reblog this if you feel insecure about your writing skills.