ERASE . . . Shoei Barou + F! Reader

ERASE . . . shoei barou + f! reader

         ✦     PROLOGUE : RETHINK     ✦

warnings/notes : 17+ to read, language, angsty, barou is himself so he's kind of an asshole, sorry for taking so long to write this sigh….writer's block

She had a crush on Shoei Barou since middle school. It debilitated her, brought her to her knees and pushed her down even further.

She watched him grow and mature alongside her. He grew taller and built up muscle that made her stomach do flips every time their eyes would meet. He would scoff when she would compliment him, brush it off as if it were nothing before walking away while she looked at him with a lovesick expression.

She watched as he grew his hair longer, and started to style it in silly ways until one finally stuck. Pointy, tall, and jarring. She would tell him it was ‘very him’ with a chuckle to which he only rolled his eyes and told her to shut up.

He was always standoffish and cold, but there was a certain level of care she couldn't take her mind off of. He always made sure she got home safely, to the point of walking with her (with little sisters in tow) just to be certain. He always took care of issues she had: broken truck on a skateboard? No problem. The latch on the front door didn't work anymore? He would fix it. She wanted to go for a walk? Well she was an idiot for going all alone, so he had to go with her.

She watched as he got better at football through the years, crushing people under the weight of his accomplishments - including her. The level of care dwindled when he started to really take off in high school, recruiters for professional teams showing up more and more especially in senior year.

She used to draw pictures of him, doodled in an old art journal she would take to her grave. Drawings of the domestic: walking, sitting, playing football. Now she slaved over illustrations for a half baked dream she had she couldn't get over.

A book.

The dream started when she realized he was leaving her behind, taking off on a trajectory of success that frightened her. He no longer walked her home, as he stayed later and later for practice. He didn't fix the minor inconveniences anymore. He was always busy with recruiters, coaches, or college teams begging and pleading to take him on.

He no longer gave the care she clung to so desperately. And her world came crashing down when she spoke to him about it.

“I'm planning for the future, you should do the same.”

“I am, Sho, you know that.”

She still remembers the look he gave her. He looked at her like she was the biggest moron alive, idiotic, and stupid. “No. You're planning on ruining your own life by spinning your wheels on a harebrained idea.”

“What? No, I'm-”

“And how many offers have you gotten?”

There was a silence that cut like a knife, she still feels the sting when she remembers that night. Feels the nervousness stir in her stomach and tears prick in her eyes.

“That's what I thought. Rethink your options, then come back to me. Your shit ass plan is gonna keep you here forever.” 

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@phoenix-eclipses @inloveinsickness @bakery-anon @kameyyy @loveyislost

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