Shy

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

George MacDonald (via wordsnquotes)

We will never be the couple that stands on a chair to Instagram their brunch, and I’m cool with that.

Florence - Italy (by peterhbgr)

19th September 2017

The life of an adolescent has hit me, I literally am stressed out. I turned 15 this year and it already sucks I cannot longer get anything for half its’ price. Finished my cringe-worthy middle school era and passed entrance exams. Starting freshman year feels weird. I always looked up to those upper-class students wishing, I could be just like them, finally being a grown up. Now literally all I want is to stay young forever. It’s crazy how the older you get, life actually starts to hit you in the face.

 Skipping classes and running late from before has come to an end in this chapter of my life. I'm officially a high schooler, somehow cool and terrifying thing to say at the same time. So far it's been nice. I met new people, made a couple of dope friends, went into a new environment, adapted to few changes and had let go of my old habits. I'm not expecting freshman year to be easy, but hopefully, I'll pass. 

The first week went okay and all. Spent so much money on textbooks, it was very painful to spend money on education, but not food and coffee. Had to finish some administrative stuff, had my first coffee with a friend which seemed like I didn't go to one in god knows how long, got lost multiple times, booked a flight to Paris and well doing wild shit.

 The second week went by fast. We went on an adaptation course, basically mostly accurately translated to English. It was our class and all-boys mechanics class. It meant to bond us and get to know each other, the usual when you got a bunch of new kids and you want them to socialize. I met a cute boy, who gifted me acutely patterned wristband from Marocca. Not gonna lie, I do stalk him every now and then If we don't pass the same classroom, so I can sneak peek at him. Overall I'm excited, horrified, but glad I found such a fine bunch of people. Well, let’s see if ya girl gonna survive her first year of high school.

I'll be posting every now and then, spill out my thoughts and worries.</3 Also, I'm new at this, so it's gonna be a process for me write longer entries and I do jump from one thing to another LOL, it's gonna get better, hopefully.

Most people my age go to parties and get drunk on Saturday nights. Then there's the introverts, such as me, who stay up to 3 am, wrapped in blankets and scrolling through Tumblr.

Sometimes you just need to focus on you and that’s okay.

…I almost killed myself

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

The milkshake saved my life

I’ve always loved dark minds and deep thinkers and things not meant for me

i-always-miss-you  (via wnq-writers)