𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮

pairing: tangerine x reader

tw: nsfw, obsessed!tangerine, m!masterbation, dom!tangerine (?)

message: when you see a dead bird on the floor, don't eat it. that's all i ask of you. i am not in charge of what you read, only you and God can condemn to your sins. i don't care if you're underage; unless you enjoy, in that case, thank you.

1.3K words

Tangerine was going over a few papers in his folder when he felt his phone buzz on the counter. He picked his phone up to see what the notification was. 

LEMON:

on my way

you better be ready when i get there

Tangerine read the text from his brother and put his phone back down and started packing his papers up to put into his bag. He walked into the living room from the kitchen and sat down the sofa. He pulled his duffel bag in between his legs to check things off his list, making sure he had everything he needed. He suddenly felt two arms on his shoulders and slowly sliding down and interlocking at his check, a chin on his left shoulder. 

"When are you coming back?" You pouted as you looked at his face. The stressed look on his face dissipated. The crease in his forehead, the furrow in his brows, the slight biting on his cheek, all disappearing the second you touched his shoulders.

"I'll be back in three days, love" He answered, turning his head slightly to look at you. Your pout deepened. 

"That's too loooong uh" You groaned, dragging out the word 'long'. He chuckled and shook his head. He held your hand that was on his chest. 

"Come here" He said and motioned you to stand in front of him. You unwrapped your hand from his chest, your right hand still in his as you walked around the couch to stand in front of him. He leaned back slightly and patted his lap. You sat down on his lap, both legs on one side, your butt on one of his laps. He put the hand that he was holding around his neck, your mindlessly do the same with your other arm. His hands went to your waist. 

"I'll be back before you can miss me" He smiled softly at you. 

"I miss you already, does that mean you're not goin'ta leave?" You asked, your pout still prominent. He laughed and shook his head at your antiques. His heart aching at the thought of leaving you. Sure, he was away a lot and for long periods of time, but that doesn't make him feel better. 

"I might as well pack you in my bag" He half-joked, if he were to stay true to his checklist of needs, you would be the first thing on it. You rolled your eyes and laid your head on his shoulder. 

"You were gone for a whole week last week, now that you're finally back, you're leaving again" You mumbled, feeling neglected slightly. Tangerine sighed and ran a hand through your hair. 

"Last one baby, then you'll have me for two whole months. Maybe we can go on a vacation? The beach?" He said, understanding how you felt. He didn't mean to be away all that much, but their handler was getting a lot of jobs, and they were the only ones available. 

"That'd be nice" You smiled into his shoulder. He placed a hand on your cheek and you raised your head from his shoulder. He cupped your face with both his hands, a soft smile on his lips, one only reserved for you. He tilted your head slightly and pressed his lips onto your forehead.

"You deserve the world my love" He mumbled against the skin of your forehead. He pulled away and gave you another smile, you reciprocate the smile. 

"Now give me a goodbye kiss before Lem gets here" He said, you leaned in and put your lips onto his. A slow passionate kiss, a kiss saying i love you. 

"Where's my goodbye kiss?" A booming voice said as the front door opened. You pulled away, making Tangerine frown. You turned your head to look at the front door to see Lemon at the door with his duffle bag. He dropped it to the floor and opened his arms, motioning for a hug. You eagerly got off of Tangerine's lap and made your way to Lemon and hugged him, letting him engulf you in his arms. It was a warm and platonic hug, made you feel safe. Tangerine got up from his position and bent down to grab his bag. 

"Alright let's get going" He said as he glanced over the apartment one more time, as if checking if he was missing anything. You pulled away from Lemon's hug and he gave your a small peck to your temple. You leaned against the wall near the door as they both got ready to leave. They shared a look and then nodded. 

"Hope you guys get there safe, and come back to me in one piece please, we don't want another bullet train level injury" You said as you wrapped your arm around Tangerine, giving him one last hug. 

"No promises" Lemon joked and picked his duffle bag up again, and started walking out of the house standing outside the door waiting for Tangerine. As you loosened your arm around Tangerine, an idea popped into your head.

"Wait!" You said quickly, putting your hand on Tangerine's chest to stop him before he left. Both Lemon and Tangerine turned to you. 

"I need to give you something, wait a sec" You said and hurried to the bedroom, closing the door behind you slightly. The twins watched you make it to the room and close the door behind you, they then looked at each other. 

"I'll go downstairs first and start the car" Lemon said nodding towards the elevators at the end of the hallway. Tangerine nodded and handed him his duffle bag. Lemon left for the elevators as you made your way out of the room. You walked up to Tangerine and stuffed something into the pocket on his pants, secretively. 

"For when you're alone" You said suggestively and gave him a teasing smile. He raised an eyebrow and eyed you. 

"What are you up to?" He asked, a smile tugging at his lips. 

"Find out when you're alonee" You said in a teasing tone and shrugged. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off. 

"Okay go! Lem's waiting" You said and hit his chest softly, pushing him out the door. 

"I love you" You said as you watch him walk down the hallway, ever so confused.

"I love you!" He called back walking rather slowly, when he heard the door shut and heard the lock click, he started walking faster to catch up to Lemon, dying to know what it was that you slipped into his pocket.

Lemon let out a huge sigh as he plopped onto the bed, throwing his diffle bag onto the armchair. The twins had just reached their hotel room and they were exhausted from all the travelling and it was currently 12 in the morning. Tangerine was dying to know what was in his pocket, and also take a shower. 

"Lem I'm gunna hop 'nta the shower yea?" Tangerine said as he opened his duffle bag and looked for clothes to change into. When he got a snore for an answer, he knew Lemon wouldn't be taking a shower. He grabbed his clothes and head into the bathroom. He set his clothes on the counter and grabbed one of the folded towels on top of the rack and hung it on the wall hook near the shower. He set his phone on top of his nicely folded clothes. 

He unbuttoned his shirt, unbuckled his belt, but before he slipped out of his pants he reached into his pocket to pull out whatever it was that you placed inside. 

"For fucks sake" He let out a slight groan as he saw his, therefore your, favourite black lace thong. He shut his eyes and licked his lips for a second, trying to contain himself, but his urges were too strong for his morality. He stripped himself of his clothes instantly and let out a small sigh as he brought the pathetic excuse of a pantie to his nose, taking your scent in. 

His dick was upright, the tip leaking and red. He bit his lip at the faint smell of you on the thong. He tongue escaping his mouth and softly kitten licking the thong, to get some form of taste. The slight taste of your pussy made him groan into the fabric. 

All he wanted to do was have you on the bed, legs on his shoulder, his head buried between your legs. Until you were squirting on his face. To the point where it could be four days later and he would still be able to taste you on his mustache. 

He brought the thong away from his face and wrapped it around his dick. Trying to think about you, the way your eyes would look up at him as you suck him off, the way your hand felt around him, the way your tongue would perfectly wrap around his cock. You knew him like the back of your hand, you knew exactly how to suck him off so that he crumbled into your fingertips.

He let out a small moan as he rubbed himself, quickly biting into the back of his hand to muffle his sounds, wishing that he was biting into your skin instead. He threw his head back slightly, his gaze on the ceiling. All his brain could think about was you. 

Your scent, your taste, your moans, your skin, your tongue. 

He shut his eyes and swallowed hard as he rubbed himself faster. He imagined you on your knees in front of him, your soft hand rubbing him as you looked up at him with your big beautiful eyes. His hand could never compare to yours. So soft and delicate. He let out a shaky sigh as he felt a familiar pressure in his abdomen. He groaned softly.

The effect you had on him was chimeric, like something conjured from a dream. 

The feeling of his rough hands in contrast to your soft one, his hands running through your body, touching every part of you. If he had blue paint in his hands and touched you, you would be covered head to toe, by blue paint. 

He thought of the way your tits bounced with every thrust into you. The way you arched your back, the way you eyes rolled back, the way you bit your lip, and the way your legs shook around him as you came on his cock. 

Everything about you was so perfect, so proportionate. As if your hand was designed the way it is just for you to hold his hand. Your tits the size they are so they could fit perfectly in his hands. You lips hand-sculpted by Michelangelo himself. Each and every curve on your body, designed just for him, and only him. 

With that thought in his mind, the thought of you belonging to him, that you were made for him to love and cherish, for him to pleasure and ruin — he came. 

He came hard. Making sure to cum into your pantie so that he didn't have to clean up a mess on the floor afterwards. He let out a big sigh and his knees bucked slightly. He leaned against the wall, the cool wall constrasting the hotness of the skin on his back. He licked his lips and swallowed as he looked down to see the mess he made.

Absolutely ruined your thong. The white cum juxtaposing the black fabric of the thong. Making it seem like the night sky, filled with stars. He got off the wall and reached for his phone, snapping and picture of his semi-hard dick and the ruined thong. He threw the thong into the sink, to wash after his shower, and opened his messages app on his phone. 

Looking at the two pinned numbers at the top, he clicked on your picture and clicked to add an image. 

TANGERINE:

Attatchment ¬ 🖇️

Miss you.

Y/N:

Video Attatchment ¬ 🖇️

miss you more :(

TANGERINE:

You are in deep shit when I'm back

Y/N:

aww mann 😁

fin.

tangerine masterlist: liked this? read more!

More Posts from Auroras-fics and Others

2 weeks ago

"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

2 months ago

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝

pairing: dave lizewski x reader

tw: nsfw, pinv, subtle dom!dave & sub!reader, walk-in (?)

message: when you see a dead bird on the floor, don't eat it. that's all i ask of you. i am not in charge of what you read, only you and God can condemn to your sins. i don't care if you're underage; unless you enjoy, in that case, thank you.

1.8K words

The room was hot and smelt of sex. The sounds of groans, moans, skin slapping against each other and the bed creaking filled the room. 

"Fuck" You moaned, arching your back and wrapping your legs around Dave's hips. His head was nuzzled into your neck, letting out groans and small moans as he left a hickey there. The scene was the epitome of a stress relief fuck. A slow one at least. A blanket was laid by Dave's feet, covering where the both of you were joined. 

"You feel so good" Dave groaned into your neck, his hot breath hitting the hickey he had just created, making your feel like your skin was on fire. 

The week had been stressful. Both you and Dave had tests all week, only meeting each other to study, for one subject, in which you don't share the same class timing, which made the distance between the both of you even greater. The study session turned into a make out session, where Mr. Lizewski had walked into and reminded the both of you that you had a test the next day. 

Leaving the both of you flustered and embarrassed. Even though the both of you got relatively high scores on the test. 

Now, it was Saturday, and Dave's parents were away on business for the day. Perfect opportunity to spend time together. Initially you were just going to watch spiderman and eat pizza, but that plan was thrown out the window the second you sat next to each other on the bed. The laptop neatly closed and put down on the floor. 

It was slow and heated, wanting to spend as much time as possible, to savour the moment. He was going as deep as he could, he'd shove himself into you as deep as he could, at least until his balls were squished against the curve of your bum and his body, then he'd pull almost all the way out and repeat. 

It made you go crazy. It was enough to make you squirm in pleasure, but not enough to make you cum. Normally you'd complain and tell him to go faster, but this time, you wanted to feel him. To feel his body on and in yours. The distance made you realise how dependant you are on him. 

Plus, you had already cummed once from him playing with your tits.

"Dave" You moaned and he lifted his head from your neck, looking at your face. He lifted himself slightly, placing his hand beside your head and the other hand on your hips. His bicep flexing slightly to hold his weight up. The new position made you squeek, one, because he was going even deeper now - not that you thought it was possible -, and two, because of the view. 

His collarbone, his bicep, his face. It made the experience ten times more pleasurable. You let out a loud moan and threw your head back, Dave groaned at the sight, cock twitching inside of you at the sight. 

All of the sudden, the door slammed open. You and Dave both stopped whatever it is that you were doing. Dave quickly reached for the blanket on his feet and dragged it up to his shoulder, to cover you from whoever just busted into the room. 

"Hey Dave I- Woah!" Todd said but stopped himself and his jaw dropped as he saw the scene playing out in front of him. He let out a loud laugh. 

"Seeing Dave Lizewksi balls deep inside Y/n Y/l/n was not on my to do list for today, holy fuck" Todd laughed and watched the way the both of you turned red. You unwrapped your legs from Dave's hips, but he held onto your thigh to stop you. 

"The fuck do you want Todd" Dave rolled his eyes, his focus back on you. 

"Relax, I'm trying to find my textbook for Calculus, I think I left it here" Todd said and walked into the room to look for his textbook, this was most definately not his first time walking in on you guys doing it. Dave rolled his eyes and slowly thrusted into you, making you gasp softly at the sudden movement.

But that was new, you'd always stop if he walked in, or Todd would slam the door right after opening it when he realised that he walked into his friends doing the deed. But never has it been this casual.

"Dave..." You whispered, and craned your neck slightly to look at Todd, he was busy looking into Dave's desk drawers to find his textbook. He cupped your face to make you look at him. 

"Pretend he's not there baby, 's just you and me" Dave hissed slightly at the feeling of you clenching around him. 

"Kinky" Todd mumbled under his breath. Dave rolled his eyes, but once they went back to yours, they softened. You nod softly, and relaxed your muscles and tried to pretend as if Todd wasn't in the room. He thrusted into you, the same pace, the same endeavor. You bit your lips to suppress a moan, so it sounded like a whimper. Dave's face fell back onto your neck, he copied your movement to suppress him moans. 

"For fucks sake" Todd mumbled, making a lot of noise by the desk. 

"What is taking so long?" Dave snapped his head up and shifted slightly to look at him. 

"I can't find my textbook!" Todd sighed loudly.

"Just take mine!" Dave hissed at him, the new position slightly uncomfrotable for you. His body turned slightly to look at Todd making it a very awkward position for you. You tapped softly on his bicep and he looked back at you and his eyes softened. 

You nod towards where the bouth of you were joined, hinting him on what was going on. He scrunched his brows trying to figure out what you saying. He looked down and realisation hit him. 

"Oh so sorry love" He said quickly and fixed his position. 

"This is Y/n's" Todd said looking at the front page and the name sheet in front of the book. 

"Just take it and get out!" You yelled, now feeling frustrated at him. You overstimulated from the small thrusts, the big thrusts and the cockwarming. 

"Damn okay" Todd said defensively and started making his way out of the room, but before he actually left, he picked a stuffed figure of spiderman and threw at Dave's head.

"Horny fucks!" He yelled and ran out the door laughing, shutting the door behind him. Dave shook his head with a small laugh. You let out a small too, finding the whole situation humorous. You wrapped your legs around Dave more securely and pushed him so that you were on top of him now. 

"Okay, no more distractions" You whispered, more to yourself than to him, and lifted yourself and sat back down on him, he threw his head back, resting it on the headboard as you rode him. Moans and groans filling up the air again. 

This time you weren't going to stop until the both of you were shaking. 

fin. 

dave lizewski masterlist: liked this? read more!


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1 month ago

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑: 𝐀 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

pairing: alexei vronsky x reader

warning, this is not proof-read so there might be minor mistakes

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑: 𝐀 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

“Milaya moya, what is it that you think so deeply about?” He asked, breaking the silence and tension in the room. You jumped slightly, startled, putting a hand on your sternum as a reaction to the shock. 

“Ah, Alexei, you startled me, I did not notice you” You laughed slightly, looking at him. 

‘I had not noticed you’

But you always notice when he walks in the room. Your eyes always light up, your smile always deepens, and your shoulders relax knowing that he was there to take care of you. 

Your words upset him, he knew something was clogging your mind, he just did not know what exactly it was. He was determined to find out and rid you of those thoughts to make you happy, to see you happy. 

“I was rather silent, I suppose” Alexei said, pushing his thoughts of sadness away, trying to figure you out. 

“Now, my love, do tell, what is bothering you” He said, putting the newspaper down onto the seat and getting up, making his way to you, kneeling right in front of you so you would meet his eyes. 

“I have told you, I am f-” You started but Alexei cut you off, softly.

“And do not say that you are fine, because you seem very enervating” He said and softly placed one hand on your knee and the other on your stomach. 

“I do not wish for you to stress, my dove, it will only cause you and the child harm, so please do tell me what is causing you to be so burdened. Put it on me so I can carry that burden for you” He said softly, his eyes sincere and carrying a pain, and empathy, a mixture you never want to see in his eyes. 

You looked down, feeling your eyes start to water, your throat started to burn, your eyes stinging slightly. You did not want to meet his eye, you felt shameful. Felt disgusting for feeling the way you feel. 

You trusted him, you really did, but the dream, the vision, felt so real, so genuine, it was hard to not brood. 

He reached his hand up to your cheeks, cupping it right after pushing a stray strand fall from your beautifully plaited hair. 

“Darling,” He said softly, reminding you that he was still there. To listen, to hear, and understand you. You swallowed and licked your lips. You looked at him, through your eyelashes, his eyes boring into yours. His eyes, so blue and clear, every single feeling of concern and sadness engraved into them. 

You cleared your throat and shook your head. 

“I would like some time alone” You whispered and looked back down to your lap, watching his hand on your knee, his thumb rubbing the fabric of your dress. 

The hope in Alexei’s eyes left and he felt his shoulders slump. He licked his lips and stood up, lending out a hand to you to hold. You looked up at him when you saw him stretching his hand out for you to use to get back up on your feet. He had a soft smile on his face, calming your nerves. 

“Then time alone is what you shall get” He said and nodded to his stretched out hand for you to grab onto, to help you stand up. 

“That is with me at a safe distance” He quickly added as you closed your book, putting it to the side and putting your hand in his, allowing him to pull you up.

click here: A Rose for your Thoughts to read the whole thing!

click here to go back to NAVIGATION


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3 weeks ago

marauders as things my friends and i have said:

James: And she said that she hated me, which I personally think is code for, 'I want you to try harder'

Remus: No, I think she just wants you to leave her alone

James: But she laughed at my joke!

Peter: I think she laughed at the way you hit your head against the pillar after you made the joke

James: But she had like this small smile on her face!

Sirius: If I may offer my opinion-

James [tensed]: Shut up you're French., go oui oui baguette somewhere else


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2 months ago

i love this fic so much i don't thinkn you understand. i've read it over 5 times now. this is my guilty pleasure.

The Return

The Return
The Return
The Return

Alexei Vronsky x f!reader

Summary: "Darling, I’m sure Anna doesn’t want to monopolize our evening. Perhaps we should..." "Don’t worry," you cut in, your voice as sweet as it was sharp. "I’m just catching up. Three months is, after all, quite a long time to be away."

Warnings: angst, hurt, reconciliation, sensitive topics, mention of betrayal (not consummated), rebuilding trust, intense and emotional dialogues

A/N: anon, I hope I do justice to your request - I hope you enjoy reading <333

Masterlist

The Return

The train moved through the vast whiteness, cutting through the snow like a pioneer in unknown lands. The rhythmic sound of the wheels against the tracks filled the silence of the cabin as you gazed at the landscape through the window. Snowflakes gathered on the glass, creating ephemeral patterns that quickly disappeared with the warmth of the cabin. The winter was always harsh, but there was something poetically beautiful in the monotony of the icy horizon.

You pressed the small bundle of letters against your chest, feeling the rough paper in your hands. Alexei's words echoed in your mind, the familiar phrases you'd read and reread countless times over the past three months. "I hope the snow is gentle with you," he had written in the last letter. "Natasha misses you, and so do I. Come back to us soon."

Alexei's handwriting had always been precise, almost meticulous, but it seemed to have lost something. Perhaps a fluidity, or the warmth with which he used to end each message with affectionate declarations. Not that he had been cold; far from it. But there was a restraint in the words, as if he were trying to hide something. You shook your head, pushing the thoughts away. There was no room for doubt. Alexei was your husband, and your nearly three years together had been surprisingly harmonious for an arranged marriage. You had built something real, something that seemed unshakable.

The longing tightened like a knot in your chest. It was almost impossible to be away from Natasha, your daughter, who was under two years old and already the light of your days. You could imagine her now, perhaps playing with the blonde curls she had inherited from Alexei or dragging some toy across the floor of the hall. Alexei would surely be close by, attentive, although not the type to show excessive affection. He had a magnetic calm, a charisma that drew looks and trust from everyone around him.

You closed your eyes for a moment, remembering his face. The sharp features, the hair he always kept immaculate, but which seemed to rebel against control in the most intimate moments. His eyes, as clear as ice melting under the sun, held a depth that disarmed anyone who looked at them long enough. And yet, there was gentleness there, a softness he reserved only for you and Natasha.

The train made a turn, shaking lightly. You held your purse at your side and glanced at the clock. Only a few hours remained until you reached the station, and the thought quickened your heartbeat. What would the reunion be like? You felt your hands anxious, the words you might say to him forming and dissipating in your mind.

You opened the last letter again, your eyes following the familiar words. "The house is emptier without you. Natasha calls for you every night. I’ve been distracting myself with... events, but it’s not enough. Please come back to us soon." Something in the sentence felt hesitant, as though there was more he hadn’t said. But before you could reflect further, the train gave a final jolt, announcing the approach of the destination.

You took a deep breath, putting the letter away and straightening your posture. Soon, very soon, you would be home.

The station was alive with the sound of carriage wheels on the pavement, hurried footsteps, and voices muffled by the steam of the trains coming and going. The air was heavy with the smell of burning coal and the biting cold of winter. You gripped your suitcase tightly, your heart pounding in your chest as you stepped off the train. It had been almost three months away from home, away from him, away from Natasha.

Your gaze swept over the crowd, searching for a familiar figure. Men in top hats and heavy coats hurried past, women wrapped in shawls shielded their faces from the cold, but it wasn’t any of them you were looking for. Then, you saw him.

Alexei stood near a cast-iron column, his imposing stature setting him apart from the chaos around him. He wore a dark gray overcoat that accentuated his broad shoulders, and a black hat partially shaded his face. But it was impossible not to recognize those eyes—clear as ice in the sun, watching you with intensity, as though the world had stopped.

You paused for a moment, unable to breathe, unable to believe that you were finally here. He took a step forward, removing his hat with an elegant gesture, revealing his perfectly styled blonde hair, though a stubborn lock fell over his forehead. Time seemed to freeze around him, the bustling station blurring into an indistinct haze. All that remained was him.

"Alexei," you whispered, your voice choked with the emotion rising to the surface.

He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he walked toward you with long, determined strides, his face controlled, but his eyes betraying a storm of feelings. When he stopped just inches from you, the silence between the two of you seemed to speak louder than any words.

"You’re back," he finally said, his deep voice heavy with something you couldn’t name. He seemed so calm, so restrained, but the way his eyes traced every line of your face, as if making sure you were real, betrayed how much he had missed you.

You let the suitcase fall to the ground and took a step toward him, unable to hold back. The distance between you vanished when you threw yourself into his arms, your fingers gripping the heavy fabric of his overcoat as you buried your face in his chest. He seemed stiff at first, as though the moment had caught him by surprise, but in seconds, his arms closed around you, strong, protective, as if he never wanted to let go.

"Alexei," you murmured again, the sound muffled against him. The words failed, but it didn’t matter. The way he held you, with an almost desperate firmness, said everything he couldn’t express.

He tilted his head, his face buried in your hair. You felt the warmth of his breath on the top of your head, the subtle touch of his lips against your strands. "I was counting the days," he murmured, his voice so low you almost didn’t hear it. "Every damn day."

You pulled away just enough to look at him, your eyes full of the tears you’d tried to hold back. "Me too. I counted them too, Alexei."

He raised one of his hands, his broad, strong fingers sliding along the side of your face, wiping away a lone tear that had escaped. "You’ve lost weight," he observed, concern evident in the softness of his voice. "But still beautiful." The corner of his lips curved into a brief smile, a shadow of the charisma you knew so well, but still devastating.

You laughed, even though the emotion still tightened your throat. "And you look... more tired. Is everything okay? And Natasha? Is she okay?"

"She misses you. We both do," he replied, the smile fading as seriousness returned to his face. "She’s at home, waiting for you. She kept looking at the door every day, asking when you’d come back."

Your heart squeezed at the words, at the image of your daughter so small and eager for your presence. "I need to see her," you said, the urgency growing.

"Let’s go home," Alexei said, effortlessly taking your suitcase and holding your hand with the other. "We’ve waited long enough."

As he guided you through the station, his hand firm on your back, you felt that despite the chaos around you, there was something solid in being next to him again. The connection between you both seemed to have withstood time and distance, but deep down in your heart, you still felt a shadow, something you couldn’t name. Something hiding in the corners of your thoughts and in the glances that Alexei, as loving as they were, couldn’t completely mask.

The carriage jolted gently as it moved through the icy streets of St. Petersburg. Outside, the sky was painted a dark gray, and the snow covered everything like a white blanket. Inside, warm and cozy, you couldn’t stop looking at Alexei. He was sitting beside you, one hand holding yours, his gaze fixed on the window as if he were lost in thought. The silence between you was only filled by the sound of the horses’ hooves on the road.

"So," you began, your voice breaking the silence, "what happened while I was gone? How is Natasha? Is she eating well? Is she sleeping properly? And you? Alexei, is everything okay?"

He turned his face slowly, his clear eyes landing on you with an intensity that almost made you shrink. "Natasha is fine," he replied, his voice low and controlled. "She missed you, but she’s strong. I... I’m fine. Don’t worry about me."

"Of course I worry," you retorted, narrowing your eyes. "Three months, Alexei. Almost three months without seeing her. Without seeing you. Don’t tell me not to worry."

He sighed, his free hand rising to loosen his tie. "It was... a busy time," he admitted, looking away. "But now you’re here. That’s what matters."

Busy. The word hung in the air, heavy and vague. You studied him in silence, noticing small details that hadn’t been there before. The stiffness in his shoulders, the subtle dark circles under his eyes that the soft light of the carriage couldn’t quite hide, and something in his eyes – a shadow, a weight that seemed to have settled in during your absence.

"Busy how?" you insisted, feeling an increasing need to understand.

"Society matters," he said, evasive. "Ball after ball, endless appointments... nothing worth mentioning now. We’re almost home. Natasha’s waiting for you."

His words were like a barrier, a calculated response to end the subject. You wanted to insist, wanted to ask what exactly had been consuming him, but something in his tone – and maybe something in you – made you pull back. It wasn’t the time, not yet.

When the carriage finally stopped in front of your house, your heart raced. Alexei stepped down first, extending his hand to help you down, the gesture so natural and courteous it seemed like an extension of who he was. You accepted, stepping down carefully and looking at the familiar facade of the residence. Everything was the same, yet at the same time, something felt different.

Inside the house, the warmth of the fire in the hearth and the scent of burning wood wrapped around you in a feeling of comfort. Your eyes scanned the space, searching for her – your daughter, your Natasha. And then you saw her.

She was in the arms of a nanny, sitting near the fireplace. Her blonde hair shimmered in the warm light of the fire, and her rosy cheeks were rounder than you remembered. She turned her head when she heard your steps and blinked, as if trying to confirm that it was really you.

"Natasha," you called, your voice thick.

The little girl blinked again before a wide smile lit up her face. "Mommy!" she cried, squirming in the nanny’s arms until she was placed on the floor.

You couldn’t wait. You knelt on the rug and opened your arms, barely believing you’d finally have her in your arms again. Natasha ran towards you with hurried, awkward steps, stumbling slightly but not stopping until she threw herself into you.

"My girl," you murmured, holding her against your chest and burying your face in her soft hair. She smelled of soap and something sweet, something you could only describe as her.

Natasha began to speak excitedly, her words tumbling over each other as she told you about things that, to her, were grand adventures – the new toys, the walks in the garden, the stories her father had told her before bed. You laughed and cried at the same time, absorbing every detail, every word, as if you needed to make up for all the lost time.

"You're so big now," you said, holding her face in your hands. "My big girl. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Mommy," she replied, her words coming out a little jumbled, but still clear enough to warm your heart.

For a moment, you forgot everything – the station, the unanswered questions, the subtle changes in Alexei. All that mattered was the comforting weight of your daughter in your arms and the feeling of finally being where you were meant to be.

You lifted your eyes to Alexei, who was leaning against the doorframe, watching the scene with an expression that was impossible to decipher. "We're together again," you said, your voice soft and full of emotion. "Finally together."

Something passed through his eyes, something that made him look away for a brief moment before he replied. "Yes," he said, but the word seemed to carry more weight than it should have. He took a step forward, kneeling beside you.

"Natasha," he called gently, and the little girl turned to him with a radiant smile. "Are you happy now? Mommy is home."

"Happy," Natasha replied, laughing and grabbing one of his hands while still holding yours.

The moment was perfect, almost. But the way Alexei looked at you – as if there was something he wanted to say, but couldn’t – left a small shadow lingering over your heart. You pushed the thought aside, determined to enjoy the reunion. After all, you were home. With them.

Dinner went by in a mix of light conversations and moments of pure joy. Natasha, always chatty, monopolized much of the attention with her stories and childish laughter, and you could hardly contain your smile seeing her so excited. Sitting at the table with your family again felt like a balm for your heart, something you had longed for through endless weeks. Alexei, in turn, remained a bit quieter than usual, but still participated with occasional comments, always attentive, always directed to you or your daughter.

After dinner, you took on the task of putting Natasha to bed, refusing any help. It was a moment you wanted for yourself, a ritual you had missed so much during your absence. In the little one’s room, you dressed her in a soft cotton pajama, decorated with tiny flower designs, and sat by her bed while she snuggled under the covers.

"Sing to me, Mommy," Natasha asked, her sleepy eyes already blinking slowly.

"Of course, my little flower," you replied, stroking her hair before you began to sing a soft lullaby, one that your own mother used to sing to you.

When Natasha finally fell asleep, breathing softly against her pillow, you stayed for a few more minutes in the room, just watching her. Her chest rose and fell in a peaceful rhythm, and her little face, lit by the dim light of the lamp, seemed like the perfect picture of peace. Your heart filled with an almost overwhelming love, so intense that it was hard to put into words.

As you left the room, you made your way to the master bedroom. The house was quiet, and the hallways seemed bathed in a cozy dimness. When you opened the door, you found Alexei sitting in an armchair near the fireplace, a glass of wine balanced in his hand. He had changed out of his formal dinner clothes into a white linen shirt, unbuttoned at the collar, and lighter pants. His golden hair was a bit messy, as if he had run his fingers through it several times. The fire cast soft shadows on his face, highlighting his strong jawline and marked cheekbones.

You paused for a moment in the doorway, watching him without saying anything. He seemed lost in thought, his clear eyes fixed on the fire. There was something about him that always made him seem a bit younger and yet filled with a maturity that made him irresistible – a mix of vulnerability and strength that seemed uniquely his.

"You’re very thoughtful," you said, finally breaking the silence as you closed the door behind you.

Alexei lifted his eyes, and his expression softened when he saw you. "Just thinking about how much I missed you," he replied, his voice low and filled with sincerity.

You walked over to him, feeling the warmth of the fire as you drew closer. "Three months," you murmured, stopping beside the armchair. "It felt like an eternity."

He set his wine glass aside and reached out his hand, pulling you gently into his lap. You let yourself be guided, snuggling against him as his strong arms closed around you. His scent – a mix of wood and something subtly citrusy – was so familiar that it made your eyes close for a moment.

"You’ve lost weight," you said, a touch of concern in your voice as you traced your fingers along his collar. "Haven’t been eating well?"

"Do you think food tastes the same when you're not here?" Alexei replied, a slight smile curving his lips. He tilted his head, his clear eyes searching yours. "You’re the heart of this house. Nothing feels right without you."

His words, so simple and direct, made your heart race. You lifted one hand to touch his face, your fingers brushing the line of his jaw. "You have a way of saying things that completely unravels me, Alexei," you admitted, your voice barely a whisper.

He smiled, the kind of smile that seemed to carry so much affection it almost hurt. "Just being honest," he replied, leaning in to brush his lips against yours. The kiss was soft at first, almost hesitant, but it quickly deepened, becoming more intense, filled with longing and need.

When his lips finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his warmth surrounding you completely. "Promise me you’ll never stay away for so long again," he asked, his tone more vulnerable than you were used to.

"I promise," you replied, feeling a lump form in your throat. "But you have to promise me something too."

Alexei tilted his head, his clear eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart race. "Anything," he said, his voice low and deep, filled with sincerity.

"If something is wrong, if something is weighing on you, I want you to tell me," you continued, holding his gaze. "We’re a team, Alexei. We always have been."

For a moment, he didn’t respond, just watched you as if trying to memorize every detail of your expression. Then he slid one of his hands to your face, holding it with a gentleness that contrasted with the evident strength in his fingers.

"I promise," he murmured, but the way he said the words – slow and measured – suggested something deeper, something he wasn’t ready to share yet.

Before you could respond, Alexei leaned in to kiss you again, and this time, there was no hesitation. The kiss was a fusion of longing and need, filled with everything that had gone unsaid during the three months you had been apart. You felt his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer, as if he needed to prove to himself that you were there, real and present.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," he said against your lips, his voice rough and broken.

You closed your eyes, absorbing the warmth of his confession as your fingers slid into his hair, messing up the golden strands even more. "I know," you whispered, your heart tight with the weight of lost time. "I missed you too... everything about you."

Alexei didn’t respond with words. Instead, he rose from the armchair with you still in his arms and walked toward the bed. The movement was so natural, so full of intention, that you found yourself unable to look away from him.

"Three months," he murmured as he gently laid you down on the sheets, his eyes roaming over your face as if he were trying to memorize every detail. "It was the longest three months of my life."

You reached up to touch his face, tracing the line of his strong jaw and the contour of his lips, now curved into an almost imperceptible smile. "Then let’s not waste another moment," you replied, your voice soft but filled with conviction.

He didn’t need any more encouragement. Alexei leaned down, his lips finding yours again, but this time with a passion that was both raw and controlled. His hands explored every familiar curve, as if he needed to remember every part of you.

The night unfolded in a mix of whispers, touches, and moments of pure connection. He was gentle, as always, but there was a new intensity, something that spoke of lost time and how much he had longed for you. Every gesture, every word whispered in your ear seemed to carry the weight of everything you both hadn’t been able to express during the months of separation.

In the end, you found yourself nestled against his chest, your heart still racing while his fingers traced lazy patterns on your back. His breath was deep and steady, and you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to relax completely for the first time in months.

"Promise me you won’t leave again," he whispered, breaking the silence.

"I promise," you replied, your voice thick with exhaustion and the overwhelming love you felt for him.

And while the world outside continued with its concerns and challenges, there, in Alexei’s arms, you finally found the peace you had longed for.

The following days brought a routine that you embraced with more joy than you expected. After three months apart, every detail of life at home seemed more significant. The familiar scent of the freshly tended garden, the soft laughter of your daughter echoing through the halls, the sound of Alexei talking with the servants — all of it formed a comforting mosaic, bringing back the feeling of belonging.

Still, there was something different.

Alexei remained attentive and engaged, but you noticed moments when he seemed lost in thought. His eyes, so expressive, carried a restlessness that he masked well. It wasn’t anything glaring, but you noticed. A lingering stare into nothing, slightly delayed responses, a subtle change in tone by the end of the day. It was subtle, but you could feel the difference, as only someone who knew him so deeply could. Still, you decided not to press him. The reunion was still recent; maybe time would erase any shadow that was troubling him.

It was in this context that the first big event since your return took place: a ball.

The night arrived with a light chill, which seemed to accentuate the elegance of the event. The mansion hosting the ball gleamed like a jewel under the starry sky, with torches lighting the path flanked by snow-covered trees. Carriages arrived one after another, unloading elegantly dressed guests, while servants hurried to collect coats and organize the entrance.

Inside the hall, the atmosphere was even more breathtaking. Crystal chandeliers reflected the candlelight in a sparkling display, casting golden and silver patterns on the ornate walls. A string quintet played softly, filling the air with elegant music, while the scent of fresh flowers and wine lingered in the atmosphere. Guests in luxurious dresses and impeccable suits moved gracefully through the space, their voices in animated murmurs, interspersed with restrained laughter.

You entered the ballroom alongside Alexei, his arm firmly resting on yours, a gesture that seemed natural and yet carefully displayed for society. He looked impeccable in his formal uniform, with golden details accentuating his broad shoulders and proud posture. His hair, always carefully styled, reflected the light as if it were made of golden strands, and his light eyes scanned the room with a gaze that was both warm and vigilant.

You had also prepared carefully for the occasion. Your deep blue dress contrasted with the lighter tones around you, the silver embroidery seeming to capture the light with every movement. The elegant neckline and long sleeves accentuated your silhouette, and you felt the gazes following you as you walked past him.

"Everyone’s watching you," Alexei murmured in your ear, his tone both protective and proud.

You smiled, not looking directly at him. "Maybe they’re watching you."

He tilted his head slightly, as if considering your response, but the playful gleam in his eyes revealed that he liked the idea.

However, as the evening went on, something changed.

As you conversed with some acquaintances, you noticed diverted glances, muffled whispers, and a growing discomfort began to settle in. It wasn’t paranoia; people were definitely talking about something. Their polished smiles and courteous greetings barely masked the tension on the faces of those you knew well.

It was during a pause in the music that you saw it.

Alexei was on the other side of the room, speaking to someone you immediately recognized: Anna.

She looked stunning in a red dress, her dark hair perfectly arranged, and a smile that seemed to enchant everyone around her. Alexei was slightly leaned toward her, which in itself wasn’t unusual—he had always been attentive in conversations. But there was something in the way he looked at her, an intensity you had never seen before.

Your heart tightened, and you felt the world around you slow down for a moment.

You quickly averted your gaze, pretending to be interested in a glass of champagne that a servant offered. Your face betrayed nothing; you knew how to control your emotions in public. But inside, questions began to form, each one more difficult than the last.

Alexander approached with a cordial smile, his imposing figure standing out in the already rich environment of ornaments and luxurious dresses. His suit was impeccable, a deep gray that contrasted with his brown eyes, so different from Alexei’s. Despite the physical and personality distinctions, there was something about him that inspired the same aura of confidence and power as his brother.

"Allow me to steal you for a walk, my dear sister-in-law," he said, his voice low and polite, but still carrying the warmth that always made you feel welcomed.

You accepted without hesitation, offering him a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. "It would be a pleasure."

Alexander extended his arm, and you took it, allowing him to guide you away from the conversation circle you were in. The murmurs and laughter from the ballroom seemed to grow in the background as you moved at a slow pace, wandering between the marble columns and the glow of the chandeliers.

"How has your return been so far?" he asked, the conversation casual, but his observant eyes betrayed something deeper.

"Tiring," you replied, with a practiced lightness. "But I’m relieved to finally be back."

Alexander let out a soft, almost imperceptible laugh. "I imagine it wasn’t easy to leave everything behind for so long."

"It wasn’t," you admitted, turning your face to watch the guests dancing in the center of the ballroom. "But some things can’t be ignored, as you well know."

He nodded, but didn’t say anything for a moment. Then you felt it: the looks he gave you, longer than they should’ve been, almost condescending. There was no judgment in them, but a kind of compassion that made you feel an increasing discomfort.

"Does something about my appearance seem off?" you asked, trying to hide your unease with a light joke.

"Not at all," he replied quickly. "You look stunning tonight."

You knew he wasn’t just being polite, but the weight behind his words was hard to ignore. Alexander wasn’t one to speak too much, but his ability to convey the unspoken was almost unbearable.

"Did Alexei mention anything about my absence?" you asked, finally gathering the courage to address the matter that had been on your mind since you entered the ballroom.

"Alexei..." Alexander began, but then stopped, his eyes fixed on something—or someone.

You followed his gaze. There was Alexei, still by Anna Karenina’s side. She was laughing at something Alexei had said, her head slightly tilted toward him. And Alexei… He had that look in his eyes. Something soft, something captivating. Something you rarely saw when he looked at anyone else.

The world around you seemed to slow down, every sound muffled, as if the entire ballroom had fallen silent. You felt Alexander’s arm move slightly beneath your hand, bringing your attention back to him.

"Anna is a remarkable lady," Alexander said, his voice low and controlled.

"I know who she is," you replied, almost not realizing you had spoken out loud.

"Of course you do," he murmured, but there was something in his tone that suggested more than mere confirmation.

You continued walking, but your attention kept drifting back to the sight of Alexei and Anna. The way he leaned slightly toward her, his smile—not forced, but genuine.

"Alexander," you began, your voice sounding more hesitant than you would’ve liked. "Is there something I should know?"

He hesitated, just enough for the tension in the air to rise. "You know Alexei has a restless heart. He’s like a bird who sees an open window and can’t resist the curiosity."

"That doesn’t answer my question," you retorted, your hand tightening slightly on his arm.

"Because some questions don’t need to be answered," he said, giving you a look that was both understanding and protective.

There was a latent pain in his words, as if he understood perfectly what you were feeling, but knew that no explanation could ease the weight in your chest.

You glanced at Alexei again, and this time, you met his gaze. He saw you, and for a moment, something in his expression changed. It was as if the magic of that moment with Anna had been broken, as if he were a boy caught in a forbidden act.

You adjusted your dress with an automatic gesture, while the muffled sound of the orchestra seemed like a distant soundtrack to the turmoil inside you. Alexander stepped away after a brief farewell. Each step he took toward Alexei and Anna was a decision that reverberated in your chest like the echo of a heavy bell. The distance between you seemed like an abyss, but still, you kept going. There was no turning back now.

Alexei straightened up, adjusting his suit as if that could somehow protect him from the intensity of your gaze. Beside him, Anna turned, offering a calculated smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

"Darling," Alexei began, his voice sounding controlled, but without the familiarity you so longed for. "We were just talking about—"

"Don’t worry," you interrupted softly, your tone impeccable but with a hint of ice. "I don’t want to interrupt."

Anna tilted her head, as if analyzing every word you said. "It’s always nice to meet such a courteous soul," she said, the smile remaining but with something sharp hidden in her expression. "I was just commenting to Alexei how charming this ballroom is. It’s no wonder so many important events happen here."

"Ah, yes," you replied, keeping your tone polite but feeling the lump in your throat grow. "This is the kind of place where people meet, isn’t it? But I must say, I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting your husband, Anna. Isn’t he joining you?"

Her smile faltered for a moment, but quickly recovered. "Unfortunately, he couldn’t come today. Business, you understand."

"Certainly," you murmured, letting the word hang in the air, laden with meanings that no one dared mention. "I imagine it’s difficult to keep up with all the engagements when one is so busy. I’ve felt the same since I returned. It seems there’s so much I’ve missed."

Alexei cleared his throat, his unease evident. He shot you a quick, almost pleading look, but you ignored it, keeping your eyes fixed on Anna. "But it’s good to know that Alexei has been in good company while I’ve been away," you added, a soft, almost imperceptible smile touching your lips.

Anna responded with a polite laugh, but you noticed the slight tension in her shoulders. "Ah, of course, Alexei is a gentleman. He was just telling me about some… society matters."

"He’s truly very helpful," you said, tilting your head, as if reflecting. "Always so thoughtful."

Alexei intervened, his voice low but firm. "Darling, I’m sure Anna doesn’t want to monopolize our evening. Perhaps we should..."

"Don’t worry," you cut in, your voice as sweet as it was sharp. "I’m just catching up. Three months is, after all, quite a long time to be away."

The words fell like stones on a glass surface. The ballroom around you seemed to grow quieter, or perhaps it was just your perception, distorted by the growing pain inside you. Your fingers trembled slightly, but you hid them between the folds of your dress, struggling to maintain the flawless appearance.

Anna smiled, but this time the gesture seemed more like a mask than anything else. "Well, I won’t steal any more of your time. It was a pleasure, as always."

"Certainly," you replied, nodding your head in farewell, but the look you cast at Alexei was not one of farewell. It was something deeper, something you knew he would understand.

As she walked away, the silence between you was deafening. Alexei reached out to touch your arm, but you took a step back, keeping your gaze fixed on him.

"Not here," you murmured, your voice low and controlled, though the tremor in your hands betrayed the chaos inside you.

He hesitated, as if wanting to argue, but the weariness in his eyes seemed to silence him. You turned on your heel, head held high, and began to walk away, but the weight in your chest was overwhelming.

As you moved through the ballroom, the noise around you slowly returned, but it felt distant, as if it came from a world you no longer belonged to. With each step, you felt the pieces of the puzzle falling into place, and each one pierced your soul like a sharp blade.

As you walked between the guests, your dress impeccably adjusted and your smile carefully positioned, the emptiness in your chest seemed to expand with each passing moment. The conversation with Alexei and Anna had revealed more than words could express; it was as if a veil had been torn, exposing something you had suspected, but refused to accept.

The glances that always seemed to last a second longer than necessary, the muffled whispers when you passed... now it all clicked. It wasn’t just your imagination, it wasn’t just the insecurities of a wife who had been away too long. It was something tangible, something that everyone there knew and that you were just beginning to understand.

You moved between the groups, smiling and waving mechanically, refusing to stop long enough for anyone to notice the crack growing in your mask. Alexei, for his part, kept his distance, respecting the space you clearly required, but still, you felt his gaze on you, heavy and silent, as if each time your eyes met, he was trying to say something.

The dinner table was a lavish sight, filled with delicacies that would have been irresistible on any other occasion. But now, just looking at the dishes made you feel nauseous. The last thing you could bear was pretending to have an appetite. You grabbed a glass of wine, more out of a need for something to hold than a desire to drink.

You tried to engage in the conversations, but the words of the others reached you like indistinct echoes. It was as if everyone in the room spoke a language you no longer understood. When someone mentioned Alexei, even casually, you felt the weight of the words, as if they were stones thrown at you.

The night seemed to drag on endlessly, each minute a silent torture. You deliberately avoided Alexei, moving from group to group.

When the moment to leave finally arrived, relief mixed with anguish, as if leaving the ballroom could ease the pain, even if only for a moment. Alexei waited for you by the entrance, as he always did, but this time there was something different about him. He didn’t try to touch your hand, didn’t make any casual remarks to break the silence. He simply opened the carriage door, and you stepped in without looking at him.

The ride back home was enveloped in an almost unbearable silence. The carriage swayed gently along the road, but every movement seemed to intensify the tension in the air. You kept your eyes fixed on the window, watching the passing lights and trying, in vain, to find some sense of normalcy in what had once been so familiar.

Alexei tried to speak once. "I..." he started, but his voice died the moment you turned to him, your gaze firm yet silent, saying everything that needed to be said. He sighed, leaning back in his seat, and didn’t try anything further.

The ride home was a blur, and when the door to the bedroom clicked shut behind you, echoing in the heavy silence of the house, it felt like an inevitable trigger. What had once been carefully controlled—the expressionless face, the calculated steps, the impeccable posture—crumbled as soon as you found yourself alone.

The first tear slipped silently down your cheek, warm and heavy, followed by another, then another. You tried desperately to stifle the sound rising in your throat, but the sob came, breaking the silence like a desperate wail.

Your legs gave way, and you leaned against the edge of the bed, your hands trembling as they gripped the fabric of your dress. All the weight of what you felt seemed to collapse at once—the pain of betrayal, the humiliation of the glances in the ballroom, the emptiness growing inside you.

Then, without warning, you heard footsteps behind you. Alexei. He must have heard the muffled sound of your crying or simply knew he couldn't leave you alone in that moment. He entered the room, and upon seeing you like this, his eyes filled with something impossible to describe — regret, pain, perhaps even desperation.

"No," you managed to say, your voice choked, your teary eyes meeting his. "Don't come closer."

But he didn’t stop. He ignored the warning in your voice, the protests in your expression. His large, firm hands gently landed on yours, which were still trembling, trying to push him away, but he didn’t give in.

"Don’t do this, Alexei," you whispered, your voice breaking. "No... I can’t..."

He didn’t respond with words. He simply pulled you close, wrapping you in his arms, the firmness of his touch contrasting with the gentleness with which he held you, as though you were something precious and fragile he feared breaking even more.

"Why?" you asked, your voice desperate, almost a muffled scream against his chest. "Why wasn’t I enough? Why, Alexei? I tried... I always tried..."

Your hands pushed against him, or at least tried to, but he remained still, his own hands holding you tighter, as if fearing you would escape. You struggled, but it was futile. He was stronger, and you didn’t have the energy to fight against his grip or the storm of emotions consuming you.

"I loved you," you continued, the words coming out in broken sobs. "I still love... And that wasn’t enough, was it? I gave up everything for you, and you... you..."

But the words were lost in the crying. Your voice disappeared, but the tears kept coming, hot and relentless, soaking the fabric of his shirt as you collapsed. Alexei still hadn’t said anything. He didn’t try to explain, didn’t try to justify. He just held you, pressing your face against the top of your head, his lips touching your forehead in a gesture that seemed desperate.

"Why don’t you say anything?" you murmured, your voice weak and hesitant, mixed with the sobs. "Say something, Alexei... Please..."

But he couldn’t. His hands held you as if he could keep you whole with just his touch. His breathing was irregular, almost as frantic as yours. He seemed as lost as you, as incapable of dealing with what was happening as you were.

Eventually, his strength gave out. The crying subsided, the sobs becoming more spaced out until exhaustion overtook you. You stopped trying to pull away, stopped fighting against his grip. Your body went limp in his arms, exhausted, defeated.

Alexei remained there, holding you as if he could rebuild everything with the strength of his embrace, as if he could erase the pain with his closeness. But the space between you, invisible and overwhelming, seemed to grow with each passing second. Your breath, once broken by crying, was now just a tired whisper against his chest.

He finally loosened his grip, just enough to look at you. His eyes, so familiar, were now filled with a weight you had never seen before — something almost unbearable to face. He raised one hand, hesitantly, to touch your face, but you turned away slightly, pulling back in a way almost imperceptible. It was enough for him to freeze.

"Please," you whispered, your voice hoarse and broken, barely more than a thread of sound. "Please, Alexei, go away."

His eyes widened slightly, as if your words had hit him hard. He opened his mouth, perhaps to say something, to protest, but the silence in the room seemed to swallow any attempt.

"I can't..." He stopped, his voice faltering. "I can't leave you like this."

You turned your gaze away, unable to bear the way he looked so desperate, so lost. "I can't sleep with you here tonight. Not like this," you admitted, feeling each word tear at you like glass as it left your mouth. "Please, Alexei. Just... just go."

He took a step back, as if the words had physically pushed him away. The pain on his face was evident, as if you had taken something essential from him. He looked at you with a mix of disbelief and anguish, before slowly shaking his head.

"You can't push me away like this," he murmured, his eyes shining with torment he couldn’t hide. "We never... we never sleep apart."

You closed your eyes tightly, trying to ignore the tremor in his voice, the weight of the memories those words brought. "I know," you replied, your voice barely audible. "But tonight... I need it. I need space, Alexei."

For a moment, he seemed about to argue, to take another step toward you. But then he saw something in your eyes — something that made him stop. The pain you were feeling was there, raw and open, impossible to ignore. And seeing it, something inside him seemed to break.

He stepped closer one last time, hesitantly, as if each movement was a battle. "I..." His voice faltered, and he swallowed hard. "I never meant to hurt you. Never."

You didn’t respond. Not because you had nothing to say, but because you were too broken to find the words.

When he raised his hand, this time to touch your cheek, you instinctively pulled back. It was subtle, but enough for him to notice. The pain in his eyes turned into something deeper — pure despair, as if that small gesture had taken away any ground he still had left.

"I will," he finally said, his voice low and rough, each word weighed down with something that felt like a ton. "But that doesn’t mean I’m not here. I... I’m not going anywhere, understood?"

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes, your body still tense with the weight of everything that had happened that night.

Alexei stood still for another moment, as if trying to memorize the moment, or perhaps gathering the courage to leave. When he finally turned, the sound of the door opening and closing behind him was both a relief and a final blow.

You stayed there, alone in the room, the silence once again filled only by the sound of your irregular breathing. And for the first time in a long time, the bed felt immense, cold, and empty.

The night was an endless torment. The silence of the room felt larger than any physical space, filled only by the echo of what had happened. You stayed sitting at the edge of the bed, staring into the emptiness, unable to lie down on the surface that still held his warmth. The feeling of Alexei’s absence was suffocating, but the thought of sharing the same space with him again so soon was even more unbearable.

The minutes dragged on until they became hours. Every sound in the house seemed amplified: the distant creaking of wood, the rustling of the wind against the windows, the occasional footsteps of someone downstairs.

When morning finally began to break the sky, painting the room with a gray, hesitant light, you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps in the hallway. Slowly, almost hesitantly, they approached the door. The knock was soft, almost restrained, but still it echoed like thunder in your chest.

"I'm leaving," his voice came through the wood, low and hoarse, carrying a weight that seemed to suffocate every word. "Please... take care of yourself."

You remained silent. Every part of you screamed to respond, to open the door, but the pain weighed heavier. Silence became your only answer. On the other side, you heard a nearly imperceptible sigh, and then the footsteps receded. When the front door closed, the sound reverberated through the house like a final warning, leaving everything even emptier.

When you finally found the strength to leave the room, the sun was higher, casting a soft glow over the halls of the house, but you didn’t feel any warmth. The cold seemed to have settled inside you, a constant weight that made each movement feel like a Herculean task.

Little Natasha was in the living room, playing with a set of dolls, her face illuminated by the innocence you knew you should protect at all costs. But at that moment, even before she looked up at you, something changed in her expression.

"Good morning, Mommy," she said, her sweet, hesitant little voice.

You forced a smile, but it felt as if every muscle in your face was being pulled against your will. "Good morning, my love."

She put down the dolls and ran to you, her small arms wrapping around your legs. It was such a simple, genuine gesture that it made something inside you break again. You bent down and held her, squeezing her to your chest as if she were your anchor.

"Are you sad?" Natasha asked, her voice muffled against your shoulder.

"No, my angel," you replied, but the hoarseness in your voice was deceitful. "Mommy is just a little tired."

Natasha pulled away slightly, her blue eyes — so incredibly similar to Alexei’s — locking onto yours. They were curious, deep in a way that seemed impossible for someone so small.

"You look sad," she insisted, her little fingers reaching up to touch your face, as if she could wipe away a tear that hadn’t even fallen yet.

You held her tiny hand, squeezing it gently. "Mommy is fine, I promise," you said, but the lie was so fragile that it felt like it could shatter at any moment.

She didn’t respond, only nestling back into your arms. You closed your eyes, inhaling the soft scent of her hair, and allowed yourself to simply feel the moment. But even in that tenderness, there was a throbbing pain.

Natasha was a living reminder of Alexei. Every feature of hers — the eyes, the soft hair, the curious expression — was a painful reflection of the man you loved, but who now seemed so distant. With each glance at her, you were reminded of what was at risk, of what seemed to be crumbling beneath your feet.

You held your daughter a little tighter, trying to find comfort in that closeness. But the pain was there, persistent and unbearable, like a shadow you couldn’t shake off.

The Return

The attraction to Anna had been as unexpected as it was unsettling. It wasn’t something Alexei had sought or even desired, but there was something about her that seemed to challenge every fiber of his sensibility. She was enigmatic in a way that eluded him, a vibrant presence amid the salons and social gatherings that otherwise seemed so monotonous. Her beauty was undeniable, but that wasn’t what fascinated him. It was the way she seemed to exist in her own world, as if she were always one step ahead of the expectations society imposed on them.

In the early casual encounters, he had thought it was just a passing curiosity, an innocuous distraction. But as the months dragged on and the absence of his wife was felt more acutely, Anna became a beacon of something undefinable, something he couldn’t ignore. They never crossed any lines. Not a touch, not a kiss. But the long conversations, the glances that lasted a second longer than allowed, were enough to create a chasm of doubt within him.

Now, looking back, Alexei hated himself for letting it happen. It was a betrayal not only to his wife but to everything they had built together. He couldn’t deny that the distance between them during her absence had fed something dark. With her gone, the days had become unbearably empty. Her absence was a constant echo that resonated in every corner of the house, and he, in his weakness, had sought comfort in a presence that should have meant nothing.

But Anna wasn’t his wife. She wasn’t the woman who had shared his fears, his dreams, his life. She wasn’t the mother of his daughter, the companion he had sworn to protect above all. And now, in the present, the price of that weakness was almost unbearable.

The days since the ball had been torture. She avoided him with an almost supernatural skill, and he couldn’t blame her for that. All he knew about her came from the servants, who neutrally mentioned the places she was or the hours she spent with Natasha. He didn’t see her, and it was killing him.

That morning, while holding his daughter in his arms, Alexei felt an almost suffocating despair. Natasha, with her silky hair and eyes so incredibly like his, was a reminder of everything he could lose. She nestled against his chest with unwavering trust, her small fingers clutching his collar as she murmured something about playing in the garden. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to find some peace in that moment, but the guilt was overwhelming.

“How could I do this?” he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. His wife’s face came to mind, not the hardened look from the ball, but the way she used to smile at him when she thought no one was watching. The memory was so painful it almost made him lose his balance.

His mother had warned him countless times, her words as sharp as they were precise. He still remembered her stern tone during a recent argument, one of the few moments when she had truly lost her patience with him.

“Anna is not for you, Alexei,” she had said, her eyes flashing with something bordering on disdain. “Your wife deserves more. Your daughter deserves more. And you... you should be ashamed.”

He had stormed out of that conversation furious, but now he understood the weight of her words. He was ashamed. Deeply. And the worst part was knowing that, no matter how hard he tried, there was no way to go back in time and undo the damage he had caused.

Natasha, sensing the tension in his body, lifted her face to look at him, and her innocent gaze completely disarmed him. She was so small, so confident that her father was the best man in the world. He felt a sharp pang of desperation as he realized that, if he continued like this, he might lose that too.

The Return

Alexei couldn’t take it anymore. The silence that once was an almost invisible wall between you two now felt like an impenetrable barrier. He saw the servants walking through the halls, casting furtive glances of pity and caution, bringing scarce news about you. “She’s still in the room, sir,” they would say. “She hasn’t eaten anything again today.” Every word was a stab, and that morning was no different. When the maid returned with the untouched tray, Alexei felt something inside him break.

Without a word, he took the tray from her hands and climbed the stairs, his heavy footsteps echoing through the house. The door to the room you used to share was closed, and for a moment, he hesitated. Since that night, he hadn’t crossed that threshold. He hadn’t dared. But now, he had no choice.

Pushing the door open, he found you sitting in front of the vanity, impeccable as always, but so different. The dress perfectly aligned, your hair styled with perfection. Not a strand out of place. But what hit him the most was the absence. The absence of color in your face. The absence of the sparkle in your eyes. And the absence of any trace of the love he used to feel, even without you needing to say it.

“You need to eat.” His voice came out harsher than he intended. He placed the tray on the small table next to the bed, watching you through the reflection in the mirror. “If you keep going like this, you’ll end up sick.”

You didn’t respond, your fingers busy with a small brooch pinning your collar. The silence that followed was suffocating, until your voice cut through the air like a blade: “Alexei, I want a divorce.”

“Please,” he said, his voice hoarse, almost inaudible at first. Then, stronger, more desperate. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t say that. No…”

You remained firm, your eyes fixed on him, but the trembling line of your lips betrayed the colossal effort you were making to keep your composure.

“Alexei…” your voice was low, almost a whisper, but the weight of what you said was like a direct blow. “I can’t anymore… I just can’t.”

“But you love me.” He said it like a prayer, as if repeating those words could undo everything that was happening. He stepped forward, his eyes pleading, shining with a desperation he could barely contain. “You said you loved me. You still love me.”

“I love you.” Your confession came quickly, but as harsh as a blade. “And you know that. But it wasn’t enough, Alexei. It was never enough.”

He fell to his knees in front of you, his chin trembling, his hands outstretched toward you as if begging for his very life. “Then what do I do?” He asked, his voice breaking. “Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this. I’ll do anything, anything you ask. But don’t ask me to let you go. Please, I can’t…”

You turned your gaze away, but he saw the tears threatening to spill, even as you held them back with all your might. “I don’t know if there’s anything to fix.” Your voice faltered, but you quickly regained composure, lifting your chin. “I don’t know who we are anymore, Alexei.”

“We are us.” He almost shouted, desperation taking over him. “We are us! No matter what happens, we are us. I can’t... I can’t imagine my life without you. Without Natasha. I can’t bear that.”

“And I can’t bear being with someone who destroyed me like this.” Your tone was firm, but the pain you felt was as evident as his. You saw him close his eyes tightly, as if trying to push away the weight of your words, but they had already lodged themselves in him like splinters.

"Please." He reached out again, this time gently holding your arm, his touch trembling, almost reverent. "Please, don't do this. Tell me what I need to do to fix this. Tell me... anything."

You finally looked at him, and his eyes were so full of desperation that for a moment, something inside you wavered. "I need time." Your voice broke, and you hated how much saying that hurt. "I need time, Alexei. I can't even think straight with you like this. With us like this."

He slowly shook his head, as if he didn’t want to accept it. "Time?" He asked, the word coming out like a sentence. "I can give you time, but... what if you decide you don’t want to come back to me? What if you decide that... it's over?"

You took a deep breath, the tears you were trying to hold back finally streaming silently down your face. "I don’t know, Alexei. I don’t know."

The room fell into unbearable silence, broken only by the uneven sound of his breathing and your stifled sobs. Finally, he stood up, his hands trembling, his eyes red. "I’ll wait." His declaration was low, but carried a firmness that seemed impossible given his state. "I’ll wait as long as it takes. But don’t give up on us."

You didn’t answer, unable to find the words. And as he left the room, the door closing softly behind him, you collapsed to the floor, feeling as if every part of you was falling apart.

In the days that followed, Alexei’s absence in the room was like a constant shadow, a gap you didn’t know how to fill. He had respected your decision for space, yes, but he wasn’t truly absent. It was impossible to ignore the small gestures that betrayed him: a tray of tea and biscuits appearing on your table, accompanied by a short but warm note. “At least this,” the latest one said, with slanted handwriting and a palpable care.

The servants didn’t comment, but you knew. You knew he asked about your meals, about your health, about anything that could ease the guilt he carried. He was present in a discreet way, almost invisible, but so tangible that you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was always near, still caring, still watching.

The Return

Alexei’s mother’s visit came without warning, on a gray morning, when the heavy clouds outside mirrored the weight you carried in your chest. The maid announced her presence, and you felt your stomach churn. Though there was respect between you two, Mrs. Vronskaya had always been an imposing figure, surrounded by a natural authority that seemed to demand reverence.

You hesitated before going downstairs to meet her, but you didn’t have the strength to refuse. Deep down, you knew this conversation was inevitable.

When you entered the room, Alexei’s mother was already there, sitting impeccably in one of the armchairs, her heavy coat carefully folded beside her. She raised her gaze as soon as you entered, and for a moment, something in her eyes seemed to soften.

“You’re so thin,” was the first thing she said, instead of a greeting, her tone direct but filled with concern.

“I’m fine,” you replied, your voice soft but firm.

“No, you’re not.” Her response was immediate, with no room for debate. She gestured for you to sit, and when you did, the silence that followed was as thick as the cold morning air.

Mrs. Vronskaya wasn’t a woman who minced words, and you knew she was there for a reason. Still, it was you who broke the silence. “Why are you here?”

“For you,” she said simply, her eyes fixed on yours. “And for Alexei.”

You clenched your hands in your lap, trying to maintain composure. “If you came to defend him, know that you don’t have to. He’s already done that on his own.”

His mother slightly tilted her head, as if weighing her words before responding. “I didn’t come to defend him. I came to listen to you. Do you think I don’t know what’s going on in this house? That I don’t see the pain in both of your eyes?”

The mention of pain stung like a sharp needle. You looked away, staring at the floor, but her voice continued, firm and soft. “I never supported Alexei’s involvement with Anna. I made that clear from the start. Not because she’s married, but because I knew something like this wouldn’t end well. My son has always had this weakness... this tendency to be captivated by the new, the different. It’s part of who he is. But I also know he’s a man who loves deeply. When he loves, he gives himself completely.”

You raised your eyes to her, and there was something there, a mixture of hope and desperation that you couldn’t hide. “And what guarantees me that this love will be enough?”

“I can’t guarantee,” she admitted, her words direct but without cruelty. “But I can say that, since you entered his life, Alexei has changed. He found balance in you. I saw it with my own eyes. And I know that, even with the mistakes he’s made, the love he feels for you is real. I know that you still love him.”

Your heart tightened, and for a moment, you almost wanted to deny it. But what would be the point? “Loving doesn’t seem like enough,” you murmured, more to yourself than to her.

“Maybe it’s not,” Alexei’s mother replied, leaning slightly forward, her hands resting on her knees. “But sometimes, love is what gives you the strength to find a way, even if it’s painful. I’m not here to ask you to forgive my son. I’m here to tell you that, whatever your decision is, you won’t be alone.”

The sincerity in her words hit you like an unexpected blow, and you felt your eyes burn. But no tear fell. “I don’t know if I can get over this. Sometimes, it feels like the distance between us is insurmountable.”

“The distance is great,” she agreed. “But you’re speaking as if he’s on the other side of an abyss. He’s not. Alexei is trying to reach you, even if awkwardly. Don’t you see that?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to control the emotions threatening to overflow. “I see. But every gesture of his just reminds me of everything that’s been lost.”

Alexei’s mother nodded, her gaze softer than you’d ever seen. “That’s natural. But I also want you to know that you’re important to me. Not just as my son’s wife, but as the woman who made his life better. If you decide that you can’t continue, I’ll understand. And even then, you’ll still be part of my family. Always.”

Those words broke something inside you, but they also brought a small relief. You stood up, and she did the same, holding your hand firmly for a moment before letting it go.

“Thank you,” was all you could say.

“Take care of yourself,” she replied, her voice carrying an unexpected gentleness.

Later, as you walked down the hallway, you heard Natasha’s laughter echoing through the house. Peeking through the slightly open door, you saw Alexei sitting on the floor, holding the little one in his arms, her golden hair shining in the light coming through the window. Your chest tightened painfully. It was impossible to deny how much Natasha looked like her father — in her features, her smile, even in the way she seemed to light up the room.

You stayed there for a few seconds, watching. Alexei could hardly believe it when he lifted his eyes and saw you standing there, at the door, your gaze fixed on him and little Natasha. For a moment, he froze, as if any movement could shatter that fragile moment. The weight in your eyes hit him like a punch, and for a second, he wondered if he should call you, ask you to join them.

But before he could even open his mouth, you looked away and disappeared, leaving the door slightly ajar. The absence was an immediate emptiness, a cold that spread through him even with Natasha still nestled in his arms.

“Daddy?” The sweet, small voice of his daughter broke the silence. Natasha tilted her head to look at him, her golden curls falling over her forehead. “Who was there? Was it Mommy?”

Alexei swallowed hard, trying to hide the tightness in his chest. He adjusted Natasha in his arms, snuggling her close. “It was, my little one. But... Mommy had to go.”

“Doesn’t she want to play with us?” Natasha asked, her big, bright eyes searching for an explanation.

Alexei closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather his strength. How could he explain something that he himself didn’t fully understand? How could he justify the choices that had led them to this point?

“It’s not that, sweetheart. Mommy is... tired. And sometimes, when we’re tired, we need some time to rest alone.”

Natasha furrowed her brow, clearly thinking about the answer. “But Mommy told me she loves us. She still loves you, doesn’t she?”

Those words, so simple and direct, pierced Alexei. He took a deep breath, feeling the weight of it all on his shoulders. “Yes,” he finally replied, his voice low and hoarse. “Mommy loves you very much. And I’m sure she still loves Daddy too.”

“Then why don’t you stay together? Grandma said that love makes everything better.”

He felt his stomach twist when he heard the mention of his mother. Her visit was still fresh in his mind, a reminder of how much he had failed — not just with you, but with himself. She hadn’t spared any words, and the silent disapproval in her gaze still burned in his memory.

“Because Daddy made a mistake,” Alexei finally said, choosing his words carefully. “And sometimes, even when you love someone, you need to show that you can get better before things get better.”

“Will you get better, Daddy?” Natasha asked, her little fingers touching his face as if she wanted to make sure he was paying attention.

“I will,” Alexei replied, his tone now firm. “I promise you, Natasha, that I will fix things. I’ll do everything I can to bring Mommy back to us.”

“Can I help?” Natasha smiled, as if the simple thought of being helpful could solve any problem.

Alexei chuckled softly, kissing her forehead. “Your help already means everything to me, little one. Just having you here with me gives me strength.”

He hugged her tighter, letting that moment between father and daughter carve itself into his memory. Meanwhile, behind the affection he shared with Natasha, Alexei felt the weight of a decision solidifying. He knew he couldn’t allow himself to fail again. He couldn’t disappoint you, or himself, or that little creature who looked at him with so much love and trust.

When Natasha finally got distracted with one of her toys, Alexei stayed there, silently watching her. His conversation with his mother echoed in his mind, every word heavy with meaning. He felt ashamed, crushed by the realization that he had ignored advice and gut feelings that could have prevented all this pain.

But the shame wasn’t enough to paralyze him. It was a flame, something he would use to fuel his determination. Alexei knew the road to you would be difficult, painful. But looking at Natasha, so much like you and so full of life, he found a new resolution.

He didn’t just want to fix things — he needed to. And he would do it, no matter how much time or effort it took.

The Return

The change didn’t happen all at once, but it was like spring after a long winter. Alexei didn’t let a single day pass without trying, without showing how much he was willing to repair the mistakes that had brought so much pain.

He started with simple gestures. A fresh rose picked from the garden, carefully placed in your room. He would stop in front of closed doors, hesitating, but not knocking, respecting the space you had asked for, yet unable to stop leaving something, no matter how small, to let you know he was there.

Over time, he began to include Natasha in his attempts, inviting both of you to join him for a walk in the garden or for a special snack. And although you still didn’t join him, he noticed that the coldness from before was fading, replaced by something more neutral. More human.

The maids would mention that you were starting to eat normally again, that the pallor that marked your face had begun to give way to its natural color. Alexei saw this too, in brief glimpses — a soft curve at the corner of your lips when Natasha said something funny, a distant look, but less painful, when you thought no one was watching.

And then, that night, fate brought the opportunity he had been waiting for.

The storm had started earlier, with thunder echoing in the distance and gusts of wind blowing through the windows. Alexei was in the living room when he heard the door open, and before he even turned around, he knew it was you.

You entered the hall, your hair drenched and stuck to your face, the dress weighed down with water. He immediately got up, his heart racing at the sight of you like that.

"My God, you're completely soaked." His voice was low but full of urgency as he approached. You hesitated for a moment, as if considering pulling back, but eventually allowed him to come closer.

Alexei grabbed a wool shawl from a nearby chair and gently wrapped it around your shoulders. "Come. Let’s get these clothes off before you get sick."

His tone was practical, almost automatic, but there was something in his movements — the way his fingers trembled slightly as he adjusted the fabric over you, the care he took to avoid looking directly into your eyes — that betrayed the depth of his feelings.

You followed him to the bedroom, your steps light and almost silent on the carpet. The tension was palpable, an almost visible thread between you both. He gestured for you to sit in the chair near the fireplace. You did, your eyes fixed on the flames as he moved around the room, grabbing clean towels.

Without saying a word, he knelt before you, gently removing the pins that held your hair with firm, yet tender fingers. Each pin made a soft metallic sound as it fell onto the towel he had spread across his lap. You didn’t pull away.

Alexei then stood up, hesitating for a moment before reaching for the ties on your dress. He paused, looking at you for permission. You nodded slightly, enough for him to continue.

The knots loosened slowly, and the sound of the wet fabric coming undone seemed to fill the room. He helped you stand and wrapped a dry robe around your shoulders before stepping back, giving you space to sit again.

When he finally spoke, his voice was almost a whisper. "I’m so sorry."

You lifted your eyes to him, something shining there that he couldn’t decipher. “What about her?”

Alexei froze. For a moment, it seemed as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. “Anna?”

You nodded, your expression still unshaken, but the tension in your shoulders betrayed the effort you were making to stay strong.

“It was nothing,” he said finally, his eyes searching yours as if he wanted to beg you to believe him. “Nothing that justified... nothing that was worth this.”

“And why?” Your voice was soft, but cutting, like a blade piercing straight through his heart. “Why her? What did she have that I didn’t?”

Alexei ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. “I don’t know. She was... different. Something new, something I had never known. But it wasn’t love, it wasn’t... you.” He knelt in front of you again, his hands gripping yours tightly, but without hurting you. “Nothing ever came close to you. I was a fool for letting this come so close.”

You looked at him, your face still unreadable, but your eyes starting to shine. “What if I had stayed away longer? What if it were someone else, Alexei? How can I trust that this won’t happen again?”

Alexei remained kneeling in front of you, his eyes glowing with a desperation that seemed to suck the air out of the room. He didn’t move, neither closer nor farther, as if even the slightest shift could break the fragile connection that still existed between you.

“You are everything to me,” he repeated, his voice heavy with raw vulnerability. “But I know that just saying that isn’t enough. I know I can’t erase what I did, the pain I caused.”

You didn’t answer immediately. Your mind was in turmoil, each of his words crashing against the walls of your own pain, echoing. Finally, almost in a whisper, you asked, “Did you... did you two ever...”

Your voice faltered before you could finish the sentence, but the meaning was clear. Alexei’s eyes widened, as if the question had cut deeper than anything else. He shook his head quickly, almost frantic.

“No,” he said firmly, his voice a little louder, but still choked. “Never. I never did that. I never even kissed her.” He swallowed hard, lowering his gaze for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “I was a fool, a complete idiot for letting her occupy so much space in my head, but it wasn’t... physical. It wasn’t love. It was... it was a weakness of mine, a fascination with something I didn’t even know I was seeking. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for hurting you this way.”

You felt the weight of every word, the warmth of his sincerity reaching something deep within you, but the pain was still there, alive and pulsing.

Alexei leaned in slightly, his hands still holding yours, but loosely, as if preparing for the inevitable moment when you would pull away. “I’d give anything to go back in time, to make the right choices from the start. To never have allowed anything to come between us. But all I can do now is this. Ask, beg for a chance to be better for you.”

His eyes shone, tears threatening to fall, but he didn’t look away, as if he couldn’t allow himself to hide anything from you. When he finally moved, it was to wrap his arms around your waist, a hesitant, almost fearful gesture.

“Please,” he whispered against the fabric of the robe you were wearing. “Please, tell me there’s still something in your heart that will let me fix this.”

You stood still, your body rigid as if you were trying to decide what to do. He didn’t dare move any further, his face hidden against you, breathing deeply as if it were the last time he could do so.

And then, almost imperceptibly, you raised your hand, your fingers hesitantly touching his hair. It was a small gesture, but to Alexei, it felt as though the whole world had stopped. He lifted his face, surprised, but didn’t say anything.

Your fingers threaded through his blonde hair, the touch soft, but steady, and something in him gave way. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against your stomach as he let out a sigh that sounded almost like a sob.

“I don’t know what to do,” you admitted, your voice low but filled with emotion. “I don’t know how to get past this, Alexei. But... I can’t stop loving you.”

He lifted his gaze to you, his eyes misty, but with a spark of hope. “I don’t need you to know right now,” he said, his voice trembling. “I just need you to let me try. Let me prove that I will never disappoint you again.”

The silence that followed was thick, but not empty. It was full of all the unspoken things, all the emotions that still needed room to exist between you.

Finally, you nodded slightly, the gesture almost imperceptible, but enough for him to understand. He didn’t smile, as if he knew there was still no room for joy, but the tension in his shoulders eased, and he held you more firmly in his arms without hurting you.

“Thank you,” he murmured, so softly that you almost didn’t hear it, but the weight of that word hung in the air between you, carrying all the love, regret, and promise he had to offer.

The Return

The night was calm, wrapped in a stillness broken only by the soft sound of rain against the windows. You were in Natasha’s room, the little one’s hair illuminated by the warm light of the lamp. She was lying on the bed, hugging the battered teddy bear she insisted on carrying everywhere.

“Now close your eyes, my love,” you said, your voice low and gentle as you adjusted the blanket around her small body. “It’s time to sleep.”

“Will you sing for me?” she asked, her eyes, identical to Alexei’s, shining with expectation.

You smiled, a small but genuine smile, as you began to hum a melody your mother used to sing to you. Her little hand held yours, as if that gesture were essential to the moment.

The door creaked softly as it opened, and Alexei stopped in the doorway, his tall figure illuminated by the hallway light. He hesitated when he saw her there, his eyes resting on the scene with an expression of tenderness so raw that it seemed to contradict the strength of his presence.

For a moment, he considered turning back, letting that moment belong only to the two of you. But then Natasha turned her head, her sleep-messy hair spreading across the pillow.

“Daddy,” she called, a sleepy smile lighting up her face. “Are you going to put me to sleep too?”

Her request was an unexpected bridge between the two of you. Alexei looked at you, a silent question in his clear eyes, the same ones Natasha had inherited. There was something so vulnerable in his gaze that the air seemed to grow a little heavier.

You nodded almost imperceptibly, making space beside the bed. He stepped into the room, each movement carrying a rare hesitation from him. When he approached, Natasha reached out her arms, and he leaned in to kiss her forehead before sitting beside the bed, opposite you.

“Now we’re all here,” she said, content, holding both of your hands.

“Does that mean you’re going to sleep for real now?” Alexei asked, his tone soft but tinged with amusement.

She shook her head, a mischievous smile appearing. “But I like when you’re both here with me. Daddy, mommy...”

The sound of that word hit him like a sweet blow. Mommy. It was simple, but hearing it from his daughter’s lips, in the context of that intimate scene, felt like a reminder of everything he was trying to protect.

Natasha shifted between you, her eyes slowly closing as she mumbled random words about the day. “I want a brother,” she murmured suddenly, her eyes blinking lazily before closing again.

Alexei let out a soft laugh, surprised, and looked at you. “A brother, huh?”

“Yes,” Natasha answered with a yawn, her eyes already closed. “To play with me.”

You and Alexei exchanged a glance, his expression softening in a way that rarely happened. When she finally fell asleep, her breath light and steady, he carefully adjusted her in the bed, leaving a kiss on the top of her head before standing up.

He moved closer to you, extending his hand to help you rise. You accepted, and he didn’t immediately release your hand, holding it between his as if afraid that the moment might slip away.

“She’s just like you,” you commented, your voice low as you looked at Natasha.

“No,” he replied, his eyes fixed on the small, sleeping face. “She’s the best of both of us.”

There was a comfortable silence between you, the usual tension replaced by something softer, more hopeful. He looked at you, his clear eyes carrying a tenderness that seemed almost shy.

“About what she said…” he started, hesitating for a moment.

“Alexei,” you interrupted, your tone almost exasperated but with a small smile.

“I know, I know,” he said, raising his hands in surrender, but his smile was back, something rare and so genuine that it made your heart ache.

The door to Natasha’s room closed softly, muffling the sound of her calm breathing. You and Alexei stayed in the hallway for a moment, as if the moment required silence, a reverence for the scene you had just shared. He seemed to hesitate, his hands sliding into the pockets of his suit jacket, a nervous gesture you knew well.

“She’s always known how to disarm us,” you commented, breaking the silence, your voice low but full of tenderness.

He looked at you, the corners of his lips curving into a nearly shy smile. “It’s an innate talent. I don’t think she got that from me.”

“Maybe from me, then,” you replied, your tone playful, something he hadn’t heard in a long time.

His smile widened, but there was something deeper in his eyes, something that kept him quiet for too long. You were about to ask what he was thinking when he turned slightly, his body leaning as though about to leave.

“Alexei.”

He stopped immediately, turning to face you again. You took a deep breath, gathering the words you wanted to say.

“You don’t have to go back to the other room,” you said, your voice soft but carrying something more. “If you want... you can come back to our room.”

The words came out before you could reconsider, and for a moment, the silence in the hallway seemed absolute. Alexei blinked, disbelief written on his face, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard you correctly.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, his voice so low it was barely a whisper.

You looked at him for a moment, your eyes searching his, which seemed to scan every nuance of your expression. “It’s a step, Alexei,” you replied, sincere. “I think we’re ready to take a step.”

He let out a breath that seemed to have been held for a long time, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “I...” He stopped, shaking his head as if the words were too difficult.

“And besides,” you continued, your voice light but carrying something almost mischievous, “if we really want to give Natasha a sibling, I think it makes more sense for us to be in the same room, don’t you think?”

His eyes widened, surprised, and for a moment, he stood completely still, as if the words had been a shock he hadn’t expected.

“You...” He started but didn’t finish, his gaze fixed on your face as if trying to process the subtle, but significant change.

You raised an eyebrow, the playful look returning to your expression, something he immediately recognized. “It’s just a practical matter,” you finished, your voice slightly provocative.

He stepped forward, the hesitation giving way to something more determined, his gaze intense and fixed on yours. “Practical,” he repeated, as if testing the word.

The air around you seemed to carry a familiar tension, something that had always been there but now felt more tangible, more urgent. You saw the shadow of a smile play at the corners of his lips, and you couldn’t resist.

“You’re taking this very seriously, Alexei,” you teased, your voice lower now, only to be interrupted.

He leaned in, his lips meeting yours with an intensity that made your heart race. The kiss was both tender and desperate, as if he were pouring everything he couldn’t say into words. Your hands went to his shoulders, a gesture to steady yourself, but instead of pushing him away, you pulled him closer, allowing yourself to finally give in to the moment.

When you pulled apart, your breaths were shallow, and Alexei kept his forehead pressed to yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this,” he murmured, his voice hoarse, full of emotion.

The night seemed silent, the kind of silence that embraced the house like a heavy blanket, protecting the sounds that belonged only to that space. The room you once shared was almost exactly as before, but something felt different now. It was the same space, but it carried the weight of everything you had lived through—and survived.

Alexei was sitting at the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, watching you as you took off your robe and prepared to lie down. His gaze was intense, but not unsettling. It was a gaze of reverence, as if he couldn’t believe he was here again.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” you asked, breaking the silence, your voice soft but full of emotion.

He looked up at you, a small smile appearing on his lips. “Strange... and familiar at the same time.”

You moved closer slowly, feeling the warmth radiating from him even before you sat down beside him. For a moment, you stayed there, side by side, your hands almost touching. The small space between you seemed heavy, but also filled with something new—hope.

“I thought about this so much,” he murmured, turning slightly to face you. “About what it would be like... having you here again. Being with you like this.”

“And how is it?” you asked, your playful tone trying to mask the vulnerability behind the question.

He chuckled softly, but there was a gleam in his eyes, something deeply sincere. “It’s better than I allowed myself to imagine.”

You felt your heart tighten, but it was a different kind of tightness now, something less painful and closer to healing. You reached out to him, your fingers touching his gently. He intertwined his fingers with yours, the gesture so familiar it brought tears to your eyes.

“Alexei...” you started, but he interrupted you, his eyes fixed on yours.

“I know,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I know it will take time. That this is just the beginning. But please, tell me there’s a beginning.”

You nodded, feeling your throat tighten with emotion. “There’s a beginning,” you replied, your voice almost a whisper.

He leaned forward, his forehead touching yours, and the world seemed to shrink to that moment, to that touch. “I won’t fail you again,” he promised, his voice heavy with something so deep that it made your eyes well up with tears.

“I know,” you said, the sincerity of your voice making him close his eyes for a moment, as if he were absorbing it.

You both moved together to lie down, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. When Alexei pulled the covers over you, he did it with the same care as always, as if every small gesture had meaning. You curled up next to him, his body fitting to yours as if it had never stopped being like that.

He ran his fingers through your hair, untangling the strands that had come loose throughout the day, the movements slow and almost reverent. “I feel like I’m holding a piece of the future in my hands,” he murmured, almost to himself.

“And what do you see in that future, Alexei?” you asked, lifting your gaze to meet his.

He smiled, the kind of smile that made your heart tighten with both longing and hope at the same time. “I see us. Natasha... maybe a little brother for her, if you still want,” he added, his tone lightly teasing, but his eyes shining with tenderness.

You laughed, a light and almost new sound. “Maybe,” you replied, teasing. “But one step at a time, right?”

He leaned in, his lips brushing your forehead in a gesture that seemed to carry all the promises in the world. “Right,” he agreed, his voice soft and full of emotion.

Silence fell again, but it was a different silence now. It was a silence of peace, of new beginnings. And as you curled even closer, your hearts beating in a slow, synchronized rhythm, you knew you were finally finding your way back to each other.

3 weeks ago

marauders as things my friends and i have said:

some words have been changed to fit the theme. pureblood = brown

Sirius: So then I was like, 'Yeah mum, I would marry someone for their money!' and then she was like, 'Okay at least marry someone who's pureblood' like ew, shut up you inbred cousin fucker.

Remus: ... I really, deeply, truly, believe you would benefit from therapy.


Tags
2 months ago

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐖𝐒𝐊𝐈 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

❝𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨, 𝐢'𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭... ...𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨. 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.❞

he was sooooo fucking adorable in this movie. he's such a neville longbottom. ughhhh dave lizeweksi you make me want to faint

pairings: dave lizeweksi x fem!reader

REQUESTS: Open / Closed

TW for this section:

cussing

smut

kinks

violence

angst

ED

SA

SH

drinking

talk of body dysmorphia

discrimination

bullying

feelings of anger or sadness

these warnings are not as bad as tangerine's one so. this is just a general outlook of the types of TW's you'll see in this section, but as always, i will have the warnings labeled at the top of every fic.

i'm a little extra, so i went ahead and made a snapshot of what your camera roll would look like if you were dating dave, and i got bored so i made one of dave's camera roll too!

y/n's camera roll:

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐖𝐒𝐊𝐈 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

dave's camera roll:

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐖𝐒𝐊𝐈 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

now, without a further ado...

PRESENTING...

→ 𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐖𝐒𝐊𝐈

smut:﹗

fluff: ♡

angst: ✦

miscellanies: 𖦹

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐖𝐒𝐊𝐈 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

❝𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐂𝐊-𝐀𝐒𝐒?!❞

one shots:

Interrupted ﹗

mini series:

n/a for now

more is on the way!

click here to go back to NAVIGATION


Tags
2 months ago
❝𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭❞

❝𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭❞

now playing — 𝔤𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔢𝔫 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔴𝔫

AURORA; she/her. entp. dancer. writer. brown. 18. dramatic. brat. golden. mind engraved by aaron taylor johnson. slytherdor. sirius black kinnie. tony stark kinnie. classic asshole. romantic anarchist.

— i tend to be a bit strange, but all the good writers are anyway.

❝𝐨𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠❞

welcome to whatever chaos i’ve created .ᐟ

dms are always open — requests are open m.lists | m.boards | teasers

personal blog — @auroras-philosophicals

my names aurora, but you can call me rora .ᐟ

some things to note before you venture into my blog even more;

i go by she/her; but im not that sensitive about it — call me whatever. i may write under dark theme but please note that this is all fiction, none of it is real (sadly i know).

i do take requests but i will pick and choose to my liking — if it is under themes that i quite literally cannot bring myself to write, i won't write it.

somethings im not comfortable with:

piss kinks

necrophilia

maschalagnia

misogyny

rape kinks

by all means, this is an open space, feel free to ask me anything you want. comments, reblogs, and likes, are very much appreciated. i love it so much, i might even print your comment out and paste them on my walls.

and please do note, some of my works are directed to mature audiences, i am not responsible for whatever it is that you read, but i will warn you before you continue any further.

if you see me doing asks anywhere, you did not. you were just overthinking it.

& that's pretty much it... have fun .ᐟ

𝔫𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔞 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔴𝔫, 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔤𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔢𝔫 𝔟𝔯𝔬𝔴𝔫


Tags
1 month ago

marauders as things my friends and i have said

Remus: And trust me, I love her to death, but sometimes I feel like-

Sirius [gasping]: WHY ARE YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT HER?!

Remus: ...

Sirius: ...

Remus: ...

Sirius: tries to hold back a laugh

Remus: gets up to leave

Sirius [yelling and trying to grab onto Remus]: WAIT NO I NEED THE TEA, I'M SORRY!


Tags
4 months ago

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝

pairing: tangerine x reader

tw: nothing, fluff, cussing

message: to the ones who seek to be comforted whilst the outermost layer of your uterine wall sheds.

1.3K words

The rain outside softly hit the window, making sounds that could make even a colic baby sleep peacefully. Bonus is that it's cold and dark outside. Your stomach felt like the battle field when they were fighting for Helen of Troy; the Trojan War. You were in your soft bed in fetal position with a warm quilt over you, watching the raindrops fall onto the window sliding door that lead to the balcony of your apartment. Your phone was on silent, half because you couldn't muster the energy to converse with people, and also because you didn't want to.

Suddenly you heard the front door of your apartment slam open.

"Y/N!!?" A fimilliar voice yelled out, he sounded concerned. You furrow your brows and use all the core strength to sit up in bed. "Love are you here?!" He yelled out in concern. You rubbed hands against your face and laughed into your hands. The door to your room slammed open with a very distressed and worried Tangerine at your door.

"Hi" You smiled at him sheepishly. He let out a breath he was very obviously holding in. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a shirt with your face on it (initially it was a joke, you had given him the shirt on his birthday - not the only gift you got him - but maybe it isn't a joke anymore).

"Baby, you're not answering my texts or calls, I was worried" He said softly as he closed the door and made his way to the bed, he sat down beside you and put a hand on your cheek. You sighed and leaned on his hand.

"I know, I'm sorry. I was on do not disturb, didn't feel like replying to people" You sighed and closed your eyes slightly. He furrowed his brows, concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I got my period" You whispered and looked at him with tired eyes. He relaxes his brows and nods.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" He asked generously, you shook your head and lied down into your pillow softly. You grabbed his hand and tugged it towards the other pillow on the bed.

"Cuddle me" You said and opened your arms and made grabby hands towards him. He ran his hand through your hair and kissed your forehead then stood up.

"I'll be back in a bit" He said then left the room. You turned around and covered yourself with the blanket and got comfortable. After a bit he came back, your back was turned to him. You felt the bed dip and him lifting the blanket slightly and you felt his cold feet against yours. You took in a sharp breath.

"Tan you're feet are cold" You said hiding a small smile. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his body. You turned around and wrapped your leg around his hips and burried your head into his chest, taking in his scent. 

"Why'd you leave the room?" You asked.

"Locked the front door and turned the lights off" He explained, getting comfortable. You hummed and nuzzled your face into his chest. You pull away slightly and look at his shirt and look back at his face.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Take the shirt off" You squinted your eyes at him. He let out a small laugh.

"You sure you want to?" He asked, hiding his smirk as he sat up and took his shirt off and threw it on the floor before going back to laying in bed. You softly slapped his chest and buried your face into his chest.

"No I just don't want to stare at my face when I cuddle you" You laughed into his chest. He chuckled and pulled you closer.

"You know I wear it when I'm away for work" He said as if it was a fun fact.

"Good to know you miss me while you're away" You joked.

"I'm always missing you" He added and put his hand up your shirt -well his shirt- and traced circles on your back.

"Really? I always thought you flirted with other women while you're away" You smirked and lifted your head slightly to see his face. He tusked and glared down at you. You smiled at him and he kissed the top of your head. Then there was a silence. A comforting silence. The sound of the rain hitting the window, the sound of the wind blowing outside. It was the perfect weather, and laying beside a perfect man. Life couldn't get any better.

"You know how you have the keys to my place, and I have the keys to your place?" Tangerine started, still tracing shapes on your bare back. You nodded, too tired and in pain to respond properly.

"Well I've been thinking for a while, and we've been dating for a long time" Tangerine started.

"Where are you going with this?" You asked lifting your head.

"Move in with me" He said simply looking into your eyes. You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. Moving in with each other was a big deal, but what was the point of dating if it's not going anywhere?

"What do you say?" He asked still looking at you with hope in his eyes.

"Don't you live with Lemon?" You asked.

"He lives next door. He's just over a lot when you're over there because he loves you" Tangerine rolled his eyes, but you know that it's fake annoyance. He loved that the only other person he's ever cared about approves and loves you.

"Only if Lemon approves" You teased.

"Please he'd be the first person to help you move your things over there" He scoffed. You laughed and laid your head on his chest again.

"Well I'll have to pay off the rent for this month for this place" You explained and started worrying.

"I'll pay it off" Tangerine shrugged as if it was nothing.

"Fuck no" You lifted your head and glared at him.

"My love please" He sighed.

"No I am an independant woman, in a modern world and you, a man, are not going t- mmmph" You started your little speech about feminism but he cut you off with a kiss. Once he pulled away you slowly opened your eyes to see him with a cheeky smile.

"Some feminist, letting a man shut you up by kissing you" He teased. You glared at him and opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it.

"Baby, you know I support women, I respect women, but please let me do this for you. I'd do anything for you, whether you'd like for me to or not" He said and kissed your slightly pouting lips.

"Okay" You whispered and laid back down on his chest.

"But only this one time, once I get my name on the lease at your place, I pay for half the rent" You explained.

"Lemon put your name on the lease already" Tangerine whispered, hoping you wouldn't hear.

"WHAT?" You sit up and stare at him.

"I told him to, it's been there for three days now, I just needed to find the courage to ask you" He gave your a sheepish smile. You laughed, but it turned into a wince when a new cramp hit.

"Woah take it easy" He sighed and made you lay back down on him.

"Tangerine, the man who kills for a living, the man who came home from a bullet train job with a bullet hole in his neck, the man who has countless of times slept with me, was nervous to ask me to move in with him?" You giggled into his chest.

"Alright" He mumbled and rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. "You're just asking for it now" He warned.

"You wouldn't, not when I'm literally bleeding out" You giggled.

"Oh yeah?" He threatened. You nodded. He started tickling your stomach making you fall into fits of giggles.

"S-stop Tan" You laughed as he continued to tickle you.

"I warned you" He laughed.

"S-stop I'm gonna piss my pants" You laughed, making him laugh even harder.

fin.

tangerine masterlist


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