Be Mindful Of Your Parasocial Relationships Because Just Because You Feel Like Matpat Is Your Dad Doesn’t

Forever giggling like a little girl over a drawing

When you have to be scared of men because of others experiences but you also have to be scared of women due to your own so you just never leave your house and wallow in your trauma

Can you do C, J, T with Asmo please?

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Asmo’s cum tastes so good- it’s the perfect consistency too. He’s developed a routine of drinking pineapple and cranberry juice and only eating salad if he knows he’s getting head. Sucking his dick is like sucking on a fucking lifesaver

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

You just know he makes a whole show out of it. Velvet red sheets, his favorite silk robe, a tingly lube, his favorite toy, whatever he needs. He doesn’t jerk off often cuz he has you but sometimes he just likes to do it by himself…and also he can film it and send it to you to tease

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Asmo has all of the toys! Like any toy you could think of, he has. His favorite toy to use on himself is definitely that Hitachi with the fleshlight attachment, he swears it’s almost as good as real pussy. But his favorite thing to use on you would have to be a massage gun and his fingers…if you know you know

Y’all ever have anxiety nd then your Tiktok fyp starts showing you scary shit-

If I see “we’re moving forward with other candidates” one more time im going to kms

It doesn’t matter if nobody got me cuz I got me and Taylor Swift got me and it’s me and blondie against the world

My dads always know when they’re needed

When I was little I didn’t understand the difference between Betty White and the Queen of England I truly thought they were synonymous