Every-fucking-one.

jesus christ, be polite to children and show them manners. fucking say excuse me when you walk past them, apologize to them when you cut them off, thank them when they’re courteous to you. they’re not little objects that don’t matter. you should be a fucking example and teach them how to treat people, instead of acting like they’re these invisible THINGS that don’t have feelings or don’t notice when they aren’t acknowledged. be polite to children the same way you’d be polite to someone of your own age group or older. you can respect a child.

Sat, Feb 20, 2021 - Sun, Feb 21, 2021 (Hah. I wrote this at 11 PM and finished at 12 AM.)

Have you ever envied people because they have group of friends? Their bond: the meet ups, group dates, group pictures, tagging on social medias because they somehow reminded them of this thing, and the way they talk to each other—yes, the comfortability.

Because I have. And I dislike it. I dislike feeling this way. It reminds me of how much of a loner I am—which shouldn't seem negative but it feels like it.

I don't have friends, and I say it's my fault. I am so asocial. Searching up my name results to the synonyms cold, dismissive, bitch-faced, nerd. Or may be, looking it up results to nothing at all because I am just no one. I am a nobody.

I want to have friends. But thinking about it now, it's impossible.

The kinds of friends I want? The extroverted ones. And extroverts seem to not like introverts. According to them, us, introverts are plain, boring, awkward, stoic. We are not fun to be with.

That's why it's really impossible to have what I want.

Imagine having a group photo where everyone else is posing so carefree, so chaotic and... there's me, standing straight, posing a peace sign, with an of course, awkward smile. Really not nice, right?

So what I'm saying is... I don't know. Really. Just why can't I have friends like that? Why can't I experience those things?

Maybe, my friends are really just books. Only that, I can't converse to them verbally. I can't share foods with them. Laugh together—because it would be so weird if books really laugh with me.

Hmm-mm. Friends.

...

...

Didn't I just wish earlier to be away with people?

Shit.

do you wish you were seeing somebody

a therapist 

Delicate | 180602

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” - Albert Einstein

:)

Library slash bedroom in Treme, New Orleans

I told Papa yesterday that I want to take BS Forensic Science in college and I asked him if he's fine with it. He don't seem to understand what I'm saying at first. I thought, he's only acting that he can't properly hear what I'm saying because he doesn't want that course for me. Then when he finally clearly heard it, he said, "It's up to you. You're the one who's going to study." And AAAAAH! Every fiber in body danced happily!