Your Cheatin' Heart, A Dark Flash Fiction By Nick Desjardins Aka A-new-american-classic, As Narrated

The Old Man Bar is the opening scene of the upcoming novel by Dylan O'Toole, and is narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original here. 4 mins.

A young out-of-town writer hits a dive bar, angling for some inspiration. He meets a grouchy old dude - and what a vivid character he is, the old geezer! Coincidence promptly entangles them both in a web of misunderstandings and threatening behavior.

I think most of us have met him along the way at some point.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Chilly film noir, a monologue written by Eric Boyd that was published in issue nine of The Fourth River.  It's called Anything For Johnny. Performed by Russil Tamsen. 10 minutes. Original text here.

Today we have a serious drama, just in case you were thinking I could only do goofy! We follow an inmate through the last bitter moments of his incarceration, his release from jail, and his first disappointing moments of freedom. It's rough for a guy having to start over with empty pockets in the middle of winter, but he's got one thing going for him: at least one Jamaican thinks he looks like Johnny Depp. 

[Funny thing: my gf thinks I look like Depp also, but it 's probably her rose-colored classes talking.]  All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

This is a panoramic shot of most of Dear Aunt Gertrude, my comedy improv troupe. I'm sporting the orange tie to the left, to the left.

A nutty short story called Sleepy Daze by Tumblr's how-to-shoot-a-squid, comically narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

Possibly my favorite narration so far! The story follows a charmingly stoic poor bastard, a put-upon dufus named Justin. We track his hospital misadventures after his ear falls off one day - and starts talking to him!! The bloke gets beaten down by his harpie of an ex and by a sadistic nurse, but he keeps on going... and he's going to give his agent a heart attack.

There's a great rhythm to the writing in this piece, a lilt you wouldn't know without having lived somewhere near London. Chris asked for Estuary English, so I gave it my best shot! Thanks for the opportunity to do a longer piece, mate! (17 mins).

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Cry It Out Baby, a short story by Ariadne Paige aka mslabyrinth, narration by Russil Tamsen. What a touching piece of magical realism this is. Or you might call it a parable. So beautifully written - not a comma out of place, nor an unnecessary word! Original text here.

A dumped lass slowly repairs her emotional self one step at a time, but her decision to skip the grieving stage has some paranormal consequences. Is she losing her mind - as well as her hands? It's only through the kindly intercession of a nearby babushka in the girl's greatest moment of need that the healing tears are finally triggered.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

A steamy erotic story by Wonderstruck on Tumblr, narrated by Russil Tamsen! 3 mins. Original text here.

I needed a change of pace from the sad and dark, so I narrated this tasteful yet scorching scene where we stumble into a couple having a quickie in a doorway. (If that doesn't sound pulse-quickening to you, scroll down my blog, poke around, there are plenty of pieces to choose from.)

Wonderstruck's poetic cadences made me reach fo' a spoken word artist's kind of microphone flow. No I didn't do any accent for this narration, WS, I just didn't hear one in my head!  Maybe next time :-)

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Waves of Loyalty:  the final novel in a trilogy from the prolific pen of Susie Harrison.  The book is available on Amazon, and the complete audiobook (including this chapter) will be released on Audible.  Excerpt narrated by Russil Tamsen, 13 mins. In this chapter, a thirty something army field tech, Jesse, briefly relates his life journey so far. From learning to swim to fishing in the stream behind his house with his high school best pal but archrival for girls’ attentions - especially for the heart of Sandi. Jesse doesn’t get the girl but his flame never goes out either. He marries another gal who soon dies young of cancer. He goes into a tailspin, and is only pulled out by a tech job that flies him to warzones around the world with Black Water consulting...

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor. Book editor and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!

Gratuitous Photo of My Silliness

Back in March of this year a well-established author approached me to do an audio book for her. I had done erotica narrations before; this one was a bit of a stretch for me, being a gay erotic romance. Came out pretty well, actually! Lots of fun character voicings. Even some steamy humor, all fresh out of the oven and for sale! Pass along 2 your gay pals...

10. The Thief and the Poet, part 2.

Short story written by Jen Mountebank, narrated by Russil Tamsen. Original text here.

Here's the conclusion to the saga of a strange trio who find themselves in the same prison cell: one 'uninhibited' nutjob of a thief, a distressed poet who likes to pontificate, and a stammering Manhattan Jew of a narrator. They will wrestle with the inability of writers to keep an audience's interest without in some way plagiarizing. Part 2 is 7 mins. 

This short story was pretty intellectually funny, and dark too. A warning for all youse authors like me who find youse selves straddling both high brow and low brow worlds! 

Part One here.

All rights reserved. Russil Tamsen: narrator, comic improv actor, book editor, and author of 21 ebooks. Please visit my ebookstore at QuirkEbooks.com and follow audiobooknarrator. Know a piece of Tumblr fiction that deserves a great reader? Run it by me!