I Wanna Share A Theory About The Silly Blue Haired Scammer Boi

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I wanna put him in so many little 60s outfits

Mr Sampo Wormski because I care him

you ever think huh i havent drunk anything in a while, i guess i'll just have a little sip- glug gLUG GLUGGLUG HOLY SHIT GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUGGLUGLGUGLUG

boogie woogie woogie

으르렁!!

was talkin bout sampo koski's canonical story of being disguised as a female journalist who is implicated to have a full job n apartment n shit. like just straight up livin as brughel poisson. n my brother said it sounds more like hes not a drag queen w brughel as his drag persona but a drag king n sampo is the drag persona. n i been thinkin bout that all day

Silco and his terror of a daughter

Okay look here's the thing, here is the thing -

This is Sam. He's a eight foot tall robot with glowing eyes. In this trailer he sends fiery lasers out from his body from every available crevice.

But in Blade's character stories and in the relic set about his backstory, he describes Sam as such:

Blade always calls Sam either "walking armour" or "a person wearing colossal armour".

Blade probably hasn't ever met a robot before! The dude's a boomer.

Which is doubly funny, because of Blade's leaked "About Sam" voiceline:

Which makes me wonder... When Sam does his emo speech about wanting to be alive etc etc and "I'm just a cold metal husk of a man" etc etc and "oh I'm not even a human being!!!" - what does Blade think he's talking about?

Maybe Blade has since gotten the low down on robots and perhaps someone explained it to him. But for most people robots would be so mundane that the other Stellaron Hunters might not realise Blade has no fucking clue. Which is already funny, but it's kind of sweet that Blade has accepted Sam's motivation no questions asked?

Like, Blade loves a good "I am a monster" metaphor(?) as much as the next person, so I do buy that he'd just assume Sam is being verbose.

On the other hand, if Blade does know at this point, who explained it? Sam? Kafka? Does Elio give out pamphlets to new members? How long did it take? Even if Blade does know what a robot is by now, that doesn't mean he necessarily understands all the nuances of AI and like there's obviously a range of robots. Does Blade think Sam is basically a microwave with a cooler voice? Or he could be on the other end of the spectrum, thinking Sam is basically a normal dude but his species is Robot, like the foxians or Vidyadhara.

And I understand why Blade might not get it, because Sam is the guy who sends cute emojis from his phone, and helps Silver Wolf with her gaming without needing to be asked and he chastises Kafka about being unnecessarily cruel. Like he's almost the most human person in this group, and that's really tragic. But I do foresee that Elio's "I can make you into a real boy" promise will end up being "humanity was literally the friends [Blade, Kafka & SW] you made along the way".

Anyway I'm off to write fluffy found family fanfiction about these idiots.