Ashlynbdsm - Just A Kinky Submissive Slut

My kik username is cougarlovingcub

Lead my heart and soul into 24/7 sub space.

Syphilis Heights.

Sacramento

What part of the Sacramento area?

Omg so fucking hot!

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Tips for going down on a girl?

Don’t be a bitch. If you’re gunna do it, do it well. 

Tease the fuck out of her before going in. Put that tongue away. Kiss every inch of her, except her pussy. Inner thighs, neck, lips, nipples. Start at her mouth, work your way down. Did you get her neck already? Good, now do it again. Build the anticipation. She’ll love it even more.

When she can’t handle the anticipation any more, go in for the kill. Eat that pussy like you’re on death row and it’s your last meal. 

Most girls respond really well to clit stimulation, but don’t over work it. Some girls like it when you stick your tongue in, some don’t, so be cautious when exploring that option.

The best way I’ve learned to do it is to start off slow. Long licks. Cover all of it. Slowly work your speed up. Go a little faster. Every been told to write the alphabet with your tongue? Fuck that. It’s stupid. 

Have her lay on her back, put her legs over your shoulder. That’s the one of the best positions for her to get max pleasure. It also allows you to use your hands. While your mouth is going to down reach up with your hands, grab her breasts, (some girls like their nipples squeezed when getting eaten out. Try exploring that option if she’s down). You also have the options of using one of your hands to finger her or rub her clit while you lick. If you get into a good motion of licking while you rub her clit with your tongue, I can almost guarantee that she will go crazy.

Think you’re done after she cums? WRONG. You’re not done until she grabs you by the hair and pulls you up because she can’t take it any more.

Now go my student, go and eat that pussy like it’s your sole purpose in life to make that girl scream your name, Gods name, and every swear word she’s ever heard in her life.

I'm back for a little bit.

Chastity Lifestyle (A long but detailed summary)

Nine times out of ten, or maybe 99 times out of 100, it is the man who brings up the idea of male chastity and his fantasy of being denied.

The woman’s reaction will vary…. from complete disgust…. to obvious disinterest…. maybe mild curiosity…. all the way to emphatic embracement.

No wonder it can be nerve wracking for a guy to broach the subject of male chastity to his partner.

Her reaction will make or break his day!

Keep in mind that he would not have brought it up if it wasn’t important to him, so it’s a good idea for the woman to keep her wits (if she possibly can!) and carefully consider her initial reaction.

The smart approach is to calm down, collect her feelings and then suggest a time for a lengthy sit-down discussion.

A short ‘on-the-spot’ superficial little chat will not do the subject of male chastity proper justice!

Scheduling the discussion for later will buy her some time to not only reflect on his desires, but allow some time to do some preliminary research into male chastity, so she has a better idea as to what she’s dealing with.

During the sit-down discussion, it’s best to let him do most of the talking while she encourages him to bare his deepest and darkest secrets.

Listening and asking questions will give her some valuable insights into what is actually going on here.

Her final question to him should be….

What’s in it for ME…

She should listen to his answer very carefully as it will help her out later.

Time For Some R&R

No, not rest and relaxation. If you’re a woman that chooses to embrace a male chastity lifestyle, there will be plenty of opportunity for that later on.

R&R in this case stands for ‘research’ and ‘reflection’.

This 2nd step to living a male chastity lifestyle is all about the woman doing her due diligence, rolling up her sexy silk sleeves, and doing some research as to what makes her man ‘tick’.

The more she can get inside his head and find out what he really wants and needs, the better this lifestyle will work for both them.

A little investigation into the mind of the man who craves being put into a chastity device and denied will reveal something very important to the woman.

She needs to realize that if she doesn’t have a mean streak in her now, it will serve her (and him) well to allow the cruel side of herself to blossom.

In order to deal with all of the bullshit that will soon be coming forth from him, it will be mandatory for her to be (at times), tough minded, mean and yes….

…. even somewhat of a bitch.

While her research will enlighten her to all of his male chastity fantasies, she will need to adopt a tough-minded attitude in order to effectively use those fantasies to her benefit.

Now for the 2nd part of the R&R…. reflection.

It’s time for her to reflect on his answers to What’s in it for ME…

He undoubtedly gave her some excellent ideas as to what she will get out of the tedious task of training him to be locked away in male chastity.

But his ideas are just a start. What about her deepest and darkest desires?

How will she benefit from this arrangement?

She should take some serious time to reflect on this as it will come in handy soon.

She Makes the Rules!

Now we’re getting to the fun part…. where she gets to make up the rules.

Okay…. You’ve had your sit-down with each other.

She’s finished with her research assignment.

Now it’s time to make up the rules as to how you’re going to play the male chastity game.

Although he’s got plenty of ideas of his own for ‘rules’ as to how he would like all of this to play out, in order for a male chastity lifestyle to work seamlessly over the long term….

…. there can really only be one rule-maker… HER

It’s just the best way to make this male chastity thing work.

In coming up with a set of rules, she will of course take into consideration his male chastity fantasies that he revealed to her during their initial discussion.

She will also factor in the information she uncovered during the research phase.

The reflection time she spent on sorting out her fantasies and desires will also play a major part in making up an appropriate set of rules.

But the first rule of male chastity and the most important is this one….

Every subsequent rule made by her is to be followed explicitly and directly by him with absolutely no questions asked or allowed…

If he can’t deal with this over-riding theme of Female Supremacy, FemDom, FLR, D/s, Female Keyholder or whatever you prefer to call it, then she simply refuses to be involved any further and expects no further mention by him of male chastity.

It’s imperative that she holds all of the cards for this game to work.

There can be absolutely no exceptions, wiggle room, backsliding, second-guessing or topping from the bottom.

None of that bullshit!

This one rule firmly and succinctly sets the tone and direction for a fulfilling, fun and exciting male chastity experience.

From then on, she makes as many or as few rules as she wants. She can add, delete, change or modify any rule, anytime at her whim…. with no prior notice.

If she’s in a benevolent mood, she can even entertain suggestions from him as to the nature of the rules.

This predominant position puts her in a place of prodigious power.

And this level of power will pay off in big benefits.

Time For Lockdown Mode…

There are many factors you should consider when looking to buy a male chastity device.

» Type: chastity cage or belt? » Material: plastic, leather or metal? » Security: used with a piercing or without » Custom made to order or off the shelf? » Price? » Manufacturer: reliable customer support

Let’s go over these considerations, one-by-one.

If this will be your first chastity device, it’s best to stick with a cage type. Chastity belts are very secure and look sexy but they do have their drawbacks.

They are usually custom made so will take longer to receive, plus they are on the expensive side. A chastity belt can also be harder to hide under certain types of clothing.

As far as material, leather looks sexy but is not very secure (it can be cut easily) and is not particularly hygienic.

Metal is definitely sexy looking and usually quite secure. But devices made from metal are obviously heavier, harder to get used to, and pose a problem with airport security.

Plastic is the way to go when first starting out.

Most chastity cages, whether made from metal or plastic are pretty damn secure! Although there are men who can finagle their way out of them, my experience has been that when properly fitted, they won’t be coming off without a key.

For added security, many modern chastity devices can be used with or without a penis piercing.

Custom made chastity cages are typically of the belt variety or made from metal. Like I mentioned above, they are usually expensive and can take quite a while to receive. Also, initial measurements are critical to achieve a good fit.

Off the shelf chastity devices come with different sizes of rings and spacers that will ensure a good fit. It is usually necessary to experiment with different combinations of spacers and rings to come up with a comfortable fitting device.

As far as price goes, an off the shelf, plastic chastity cage such as the very popular CB-6000, while not cheap, is well within the budget of most.

You can find cheaper, Chinese knock-offs on Amazon but the quality is not to be trusted…. they crack and break a lot.

On the other hand, custom chastity devices can get quite expensive and are best left for when your chastity lifestyle has been allowed to season a bit.

Male chastity is becoming more popular all the time which brings more designers and manufactures into the arena with new and innovative products.

These manufacturers can come and go like the wind so it’s always wise to pick a chastity device made by  a company who has been around for awhile in case you need customer support or replacement parts and accessories.

There is a reason devices like the CB-6000 are so popular.

It’s affordable, secure, comfortable and hygienic!

Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as ordering a male chastity device, locking him up and embarking on a fun and exciting male chastity lifestyle.

There is a critical process that must be carefully navigated before the mayhem can begin.

This is what you’ve been waiting for? Your male chastity device has arrived and you cannot wait to get started.

Break him in…. Slowly but surely

Whoa boy (or girl). Take a deep breath, relax and read what I have to say on this matter.

Before wildly embarking on this male chastity adventure it’s necessary for an adjustment period….

…. a physical and emotional one. He needs to be slowly but surely, ‘broken in’.

First, take a little time and make sure you get a good fit, not too tight, not too loose, but just right.

Once that’s done, lock him up for 24 straight hours.

After a day, you’ll both have a good idea as to how things are fitting down there. A little initial discomfort along with some minor pinching is to be expected.

No big deal, at least not for the keyholder anyway.

Any major discomfort can now be dealt with at this time. A larger ring, a different sized spacer, shaving the genitals, applying lotion.

Now go for another 24 hours. If everything is hunky-dory (aside from the minor chafing, pinching, etc.) then it’s time to go for 72 continuous hours (Yes, 3 full days) in lock-down mode.

He will now be getting used to and/or moving beyond any minor discomfort.

He will soon find it more practical to sit down on the toilet and pee like a girl.

He will get used to the feeling of not being able to touch his dick.

He will begin to experience a yearning feeling deep inside his balls (as well as his mind) that comes with sexual denial.

The next phase is to remove the chastity cage, re-shave, re-lube, re-adjust rings and spacers and lock him back up for seven straight days!

This is the phase where any final physical adaptations will take place and more importantly, where the psychological process begins.

This is where the fantasy begins to morph into reality.

He now will be getting what he asked for and begins the transformation from a macho man to a compliant and devoted husband or boyfriend.

Seven continuous days of no whining, complaining or cumming marks the point when your relationship is ready to take on a new level of meaning.

It’s now time to make a very big decision!

Now that he’s adapted, both physically and mentally, to being locked up for seven straight days, he’s proven that he can ‘handle’ things.

The big decision

In order to set the proper ‘tone’ of how the relationship is to eventually evolve, a mandatory (and lengthy) lock-up and denial period will have to be agreed upon and then strictly enforced.

This ‘conditioning phase’ is necessary so that both partners are fully committed to the idea that male chastity is no longer just a fantasy or a mere game, but a lifestyle decision to be taken seriously.

This ‘lock-down’ phase should be anywhere from a month (bare minimum), to a full year. Three months seems to be the ‘sweet spot’ for most couples.

This may sound like ‘harsh’ treatment but is absolutely necessary in order to instill the proper mindset in the male.

This lengthy stretch of total denial will also empower her to be tough-minded during some tough times.

She will also use this time to thoroughly train him to sexually please her without the use of his now caged-up cock.

He will become adept at transmuting his feelings of frustration and denial into the satisfaction of providing for her needs and desires.

During this training period, it’s wise to tease him un-mercifully in conjunction with verbal humiliation and an occasional whipping session, if she’s into that.

Nothing can approach the emotional intensity of her being licked to orgasm-after-orgasm by a locked-up and denied male right after he’s being worked over with a riding crop.

At the end of the ‘conditioning phase’, she will have elevated herself to a position of complete control and power while he will have learned to happily (for the most part) take on the role of a subservient sexual slave.

At the end of this period of lock-down and denial, his input into matters will no longer be necessary.

She may ask for his thoughts, but it’s now all about her! She makes all the rules and he simply answers, “yes Dear”.

His ‘Cumming Out’ Party

He is now perfectly primed and positioned for his first release in quite some time.

It’s been soooo long since he’s experienced an orgasm. Perhaps maybe a wet dream, but that doesn’t really count now, does it?

A firm benchmark has now been established within the relationship.

He’s proven (with her help) that he can endure a long period of sexual denial, all the while attending to her ever escalating sexual desires.

Denying a man while you are free to experience sexual ecstasy is an incredible turn-on and power rush for a woman…

She, on the other hand, has become capable of maintaining a disdainful demeanor to his ‘predicament’ all the while providing him with the necessary ‘guidance’ (which can sometimes be cruel and humiliating) without flinching.

But now that he has ‘paid his penance’ and she had become sufficiently empowered, it is time for her to decide on how his future orgasms will be ‘managed’.

The first area to consider is how often he should be allowed to cum.

Most women opt for a set time interval…. but it should never be more often than every two weeks!

Once per month is better. In my experience, once every two to three months is optimal.

Some keyholder’s choose to keep their men guessing; orgasms are allowed only at her whim, and he never knows when that might be.

That sounds quite cruel but some women get off on the look on a male’s face when she leads him to believe that the time is near, only to change her mind at the very last minute.

This tactic is suitable for women who prefer to emotionally ‘break’ a man down and render him as a mere shell of his former self.

For most women, this is ‘over-the-top’ and they prefer to let their man hold onto a portion of his self-dignity so that he can still function effectively out in the ‘real’ world.

And then there are women who prefer performance based or ‘earned’ orgasms.

An ejaculation can be conditional upon completing chores, performing tasks, maintaining proper behavior standards, losing weight, hers-to-his orgasm ratios (100:1), chastity games, etc.

One important thing to remember; the time between orgasms can always be extended because of ‘bad’ behavior on his part.

Once the woman has established a fair frequency for his orgasms, she must then decide on how he will be achieving these rare ejaculations.

This is where things get incredibly fun but quite spicy and dicey.

We now know the when…. What about the how?

Now it’s time to consider how he will be cumming. This is the fun part, especially for her.

After going through the ‘conditioning phase’ he has had plenty of time away from regular intercourse. If she has a penchant for penetrative sex, a dildo or a strap-on (for him) solves that issue.

She may decide that his days of fucking are over. No big deal for her since she has the options above at her disposal.

Many women choose to deny the male the privilege of traditional intercourse as a matter of principle.

It is quite common for a woman holding the key to insist that any of his orgasms are of the humiliating variety.

I have a friend who handcuffs her husband’s hands behind his back and then just tells him to go for it.

He inevitably winds up humping the hardwood floor in the kitchen, then meekly licks up his mess afterwards.

I’ve heard of one woman who has her man hump one of her girlfriend’s legs while she hurls degrading insults his way.

Other women are particularly amused by, and have become masters of, the ruined orgasm.

One particularly cruel acquaintance of mine insists on performing an emasculating prostrate milking in front of a girlfriend, boyfriend or sometimes both.

I’ve witnessed a pro-domme at a party order a man to polish a pretty girl’s high heeled boot with his cum, followed by his tongue, while she whipped his ass from behind with a riding crop.

My favorite? Instructing him to cum on her ass followed by a thorough tongue clean up. Ummmm.

It can also be exciting to incorporate some sort of ‘dice’ or ‘spin-the-wheel’ type of game, leaving the matter of ‘if he gets to cum’ and the manner in which he does it, up to pure chance.

You’re really only limited by your kinky and perverse imagination.

Now that you’ve both settled in and become comfortable with your personalized version of a male  chastity lifestyle, it’s time to reflect on an extremely important matter.

Once everything has been set-up properly within a male chastity lifestyle, everything should now be smooth sailing.

Not So Fast

The reality of enforced male chastity typically does not measure up to the fantasy he once had about it.

The fantasy was much more erotic than the stark reality of constant denial and severely limited orgasms.

Now that he’s securely locked up, with no release on the horizon, second thoughts on this course of events begin to haunt him.

But it’s a completely different story for her!

The reality of male chastity for the woman is much more powerful and fulfilling than the initial fantasy ever was.

At first, it was about his fantasy. Now it’s all about her reality.

Now that she holds the key to his manhood and has the situation well under control, she can’t understand why she was ever hesitant to begin this in the first place.

Sure, she has had to initially expend some major time, energy and effort with all of the rule setting, conditioning, attention to detail, discipline and compliance issues. To be honest, this is no small feat and is not for a weak willed woman!

But she will have emerged from the back-end of this process with superior self-confidence and complete sexual liberation.

He, on the other hand, has relinquished his ability to orgasm, something so importantly powerful that he can’t help but wonder if he has made the right choice.

He will, at some point, inevitably began to start ‘missing’ his frequent orgasms, the ones he had become so addicted to for most of his adult life.

If she acquiesces to this inherent weakness that resides within most all males, the lifestyle that they have expended so much effort to build, will began to fold like a cheap lawn chair.

When the subject rears it’s ugly head, she will need to firmly put her high heeled foot down and say no!

There can be no going back. She is living the perfect, pampered life that she deserves while he, for maybe the first time in his life, has found some real peace, even though it’s of the frustrating variety.

If he continues to complain and have regrets about his situation (the one, by the way, he so desperately lobbied for) she has several options, including but not limited to….

» institute a policy of permanent orgasm denial » increase his chore/work load by 50%

» a severe cock caning or whipping session » make an appointment to have his penis pierced » discontinuance of all male chastity activities » threaten to leave the relationship

Any unreasonable demands on his part should be firmly countered with strict and swift consequences.

It’s really only matter of time when she will need to draw a bold line in the sand and not put up with any questioning of her authority.

Consider this to be an honest and fair representation of possible ‘fall-out’ issues when embarking on a male chastity lifestyle.

Male Chastity is not for every couple…

To successfully incorporate it within a relationship, both partners will need to have the courage to move beyond traditional sexual and romantic roles that are played out by most couples.

Social conditioning, as it pertains to relationships, is powerful stuff and can lead to feelings of guilt, fear and inadequacy where none should ever exist.

Both men and women instinctively know who they are at a ‘gut’ level. Being in tune with that inner knowledge and living your life exactly how you want, results in true happiness and freedom.

If you’re a guy who is sick and tired of being in control all of the time, then maybe it’s time to let go.

If you truly adore a woman and enjoy treating her like a Princess, elevating her pleasure above yours, then go for it.

If you’re a woman who would like to see how it feels to ‘turn the tables’ and be the one who wields the power in a relationship, why not give male chastity a try.

Freeing yourself from all household duties (or just the ones you dislike) while experiencing exquisite sexual ecstasy, precisely the way you want it, when you want it, cannot be adequately expressed in words.

A man that can provide all of that for her, and then some, will evoke emotions that will reverberate all the way down to his inner core.

Training a male to accept his new life of being denied is a fun, frustrating (at times), and extremely rewarding endeavor. You will need to get a chastity device early on in the training process.

Denied once more

You may have thought my ways of teasing and denying you from afar were finite.

That was before I made you Facetime me while you were in one of your very important video conferences. One where you needed to look dapper, be switched on and contribute your valued opinion. One where you were required to focus and concentrate on the matter at hand. One where you couldn’t afford to let your mind wander, to be distracted.

In short, a perfect setting for me to demonstrate what tease and denial can mean.

And so I offered you a quick and silent FaceTime call to show you my freshly painted nails. How could you not? How could you ever turn that offer down? Of course you couldn’t. Of course you would accept the call, place your phone ever so carefully against the side of your laptop screen, and go about your work call.

Or would you?

For when the call opened and I smiled at you, were you really able to not look?

What were the odds of you concentrating on solving a professional problem when you saw my feet on your screen? When I showed you my toes, the ones you so love to lick, to suck, to smell and to taste? I saw exactly what was happening to you. I saw you part those beautiful slutty lips of yours, the ones I have seen do unimaginable things, in desire. Your eyes widened, darted away from the laptop, onto the phone screen. They pleaded with me to show you more in ways that didn’t need for words. As I moved ever so slightly in front of the camera, I granted you a glimpse of my body barely covered in a robe. And then covered in the thick and heavy want in your eyes, darting back and forth between screens.

So I smiled, placed my finger on my lips in a secret ob you and I share, and mouthed “Do you want to see more?”, lasciviously writhing in the sheets, as if that really was a question. As if what you just saw wasn’t enough on any day, let alone during a work call.

I know your face and I know your expressions. And I could tell then that your subtly raised eyebrows and the clenched jaw was your best effort at not losing your professional front. How does a man nod vigorously and say “yes please” without moving? You managed, it’s just one of your many talents.

“You’re in for a treat” I promised and got up, phone in hand. My robe open, revealing the curve of my breasts as I walked along the corridor, watching you talk to your client. I mustn’t distract you. Only I will! Keep on talking, my boy, keep on being the professional you are, while I placed the phone on the bathroom vanity, facing the shower. Keep negotiating terms, my boy, as I sensually traced the lines of my body with my dark red fingernails before letting the robe slip off my shoulders. As I stood naked before you and watched you stutter mid sentence.

There was no need for you to explain or show me what you were going through in that moment. I knew you were rock solid, twitching and dripping a mess onto your stomach. Watching your lips move, forming sentences full of professional jargon as opposed to the many versions of “fucking hell” that you would normally utter, I stepped into the shower and soaped my body, washed in all the places your tongue so eagerly licked. Were you concentrating, my boy? For the look on your face had since lost its polite professionalism.

Your eyes followed as the water jet rinsed my skin off the lather first, then was guided lower, to my most intimate of places. Keep listening to your client, boy! Don’t mind me pleasuring myself as the sounds of surprise and desire rolled over my tongue.

Frustration at how you cannot give me your utmost attention now plainly visible on your face, I made sure you got a good view of my hands moisturising my body. We both knew it should have been your hands. We both imagined they were. But while I was able to fully commit to this image, you were forced to let it slip away again and again as you answered queries on your call.

I can do better than that, boy. If you thought there and then this was the end of my tease, you were wrong. For then I placed my phone on the floor, to show you exactly what you would be seeing from the position you so naturally inhabit, when you so willingly give in to the magnetic pull of the floor beneath me.

And as you finally ended your work call, only to immediately sink onto your knees and give me all of your focus, I smiled and nodded and waved you goodbye, too, leaving you to your own devices. Denied once more.

You know now that teasing is way more than touching and that not being able to fall into the subspace of the moment is as much denial as not getting to orgasm.

You know now that I own every aspect of it.

#datsme anyone who wants to collar me better have a super sadistic and strong side to them. But I also love soft dommes.

A dream come true