Yes Goddess

Denied once more

You may have thought my ways of teasing and denying you from afar were finite.

That was before I made you Facetime me while you were in one of your very important video conferences. One where you needed to look dapper, be switched on and contribute your valued opinion. One where you were required to focus and concentrate on the matter at hand. One where you couldn’t afford to let your mind wander, to be distracted.

In short, a perfect setting for me to demonstrate what tease and denial can mean.

And so I offered you a quick and silent FaceTime call to show you my freshly painted nails. How could you not? How could you ever turn that offer down? Of course you couldn’t. Of course you would accept the call, place your phone ever so carefully against the side of your laptop screen, and go about your work call.

Or would you?

For when the call opened and I smiled at you, were you really able to not look?

What were the odds of you concentrating on solving a professional problem when you saw my feet on your screen? When I showed you my toes, the ones you so love to lick, to suck, to smell and to taste? I saw exactly what was happening to you. I saw you part those beautiful slutty lips of yours, the ones I have seen do unimaginable things, in desire. Your eyes widened, darted away from the laptop, onto the phone screen. They pleaded with me to show you more in ways that didn’t need for words. As I moved ever so slightly in front of the camera, I granted you a glimpse of my body barely covered in a robe. And then covered in the thick and heavy want in your eyes, darting back and forth between screens.

So I smiled, placed my finger on my lips in a secret ob you and I share, and mouthed “Do you want to see more?”, lasciviously writhing in the sheets, as if that really was a question. As if what you just saw wasn’t enough on any day, let alone during a work call.

I know your face and I know your expressions. And I could tell then that your subtly raised eyebrows and the clenched jaw was your best effort at not losing your professional front. How does a man nod vigorously and say “yes please” without moving? You managed, it’s just one of your many talents.

“You’re in for a treat” I promised and got up, phone in hand. My robe open, revealing the curve of my breasts as I walked along the corridor, watching you talk to your client. I mustn’t distract you. Only I will! Keep on talking, my boy, keep on being the professional you are, while I placed the phone on the bathroom vanity, facing the shower. Keep negotiating terms, my boy, as I sensually traced the lines of my body with my dark red fingernails before letting the robe slip off my shoulders. As I stood naked before you and watched you stutter mid sentence.

There was no need for you to explain or show me what you were going through in that moment. I knew you were rock solid, twitching and dripping a mess onto your stomach. Watching your lips move, forming sentences full of professional jargon as opposed to the many versions of “fucking hell” that you would normally utter, I stepped into the shower and soaped my body, washed in all the places your tongue so eagerly licked. Were you concentrating, my boy? For the look on your face had since lost its polite professionalism.

Your eyes followed as the water jet rinsed my skin off the lather first, then was guided lower, to my most intimate of places. Keep listening to your client, boy! Don’t mind me pleasuring myself as the sounds of surprise and desire rolled over my tongue.

Frustration at how you cannot give me your utmost attention now plainly visible on your face, I made sure you got a good view of my hands moisturising my body. We both knew it should have been your hands. We both imagined they were. But while I was able to fully commit to this image, you were forced to let it slip away again and again as you answered queries on your call.

I can do better than that, boy. If you thought there and then this was the end of my tease, you were wrong. For then I placed my phone on the floor, to show you exactly what you would be seeing from the position you so naturally inhabit, when you so willingly give in to the magnetic pull of the floor beneath me.

And as you finally ended your work call, only to immediately sink onto your knees and give me all of your focus, I smiled and nodded and waved you goodbye, too, leaving you to your own devices. Denied once more.

You know now that teasing is way more than touching and that not being able to fall into the subspace of the moment is as much denial as not getting to orgasm.

You know now that I own every aspect of it.

ORGASM CONTROL vs DENIAL

A recent spate of asks and not so friendly dialogue over at @instructor144 blog left me thinking about these two distinct items (distinct in my opinion).

I define Orgasm Control as part of a D/s agreement where the sub/bottom agrees to seek permission before an orgasm and if yes, to cum as directed by the Dominant/Top. I seperate control from denial at the “no,” specifically at the length of time. To simplify it, let’s break control into short term, and long term as Denial. There are many reasons to use edge and denial (short term) control regimes with a sub/bottom –too many to delve into here.

Before you give consent to either orgasm control or orgasm denial, DEFINE the length of time for your understanding.

The example given for denial was in the 45 day range. I’ll use that as a kind time frame reference.

Okay, so let’s talk Orgasm Denial. Some may be seeking the lack of sexual desire or pleasure. I assume that’s self explanatory. But, in my experience, most Denial involves edging, usually repeatedly. The edged state is the state the parties involved are seeking.

Okay folks, time to get nerdy. Both edged denial and orgasm involve lots of brain chemistry and hormones. Now some of us have more complicated chemistry and hormones like being trans, pregnant, menopausal, prostate treatments, or any numerous endocrine issues, which will require additional thought on the part of those involved – well beyond what scraps of info I have to offer up.

Some of us humans have brains that just work better when inundated with higher levels of some of these chemicals and hormones. So we manage that with all kinds of things – pain, pleasure, food, thrill seeking, exercise, etc. Some brains actually function more to its owner’s liking when living in a state of Edged Orgasm Denial in a D/s context. But make no mistake, that state is an altered one. It is different from their baseline. [ Before anyone loses their shit, neither the term altered nor different means “bad.” ]

In the end, Edged Orgasm Denial is a kind of self regulation, like maintenance spankings (pain). Both require responsible, knowledgeable Dominants/Tops and consent from the subs/bottoms

I have one caveat that I’ll put out here. There is a difference between consent and informed consent. In medicine, informed consent means all other options are presented as well as all the risks of the preferred one. So in this case, if you’re looking to try to self regulate through long term Edged Orgasm Denial, I will tell you if it were me, or someone I loved, I would seek out a kink aware professional to learn all of the other options and any personal risks of long term Edged Orgasm Denial.

There ARE inherent risks with long term Edged Orgasm Denial. Specifically, the rebound effect when orgasm, ruined or otherwise, occurs. Many self report serious depressive episodes. So D-types, SSC requires you are prepared to deal with all effects, side efects, and risks before, during and after edges and orgasms in this kind of denial.

Now we all know shit happens and goes wrong in D/s. Life happens, bodies change, whatever it may be, there is a way to deal with it within the dynamic.

S-types are responsible for communicating needs to their D-type. D-types are responsible for providing for those needs. So in the context of Edged Orgasm Denial, when “something” goes wrong during the edge/denial regime, first decide if a meta talk can attempt to solve the issue or if you NEED to safeword and cum. Edged Orgasm Denial is not some extra special D/s thing. Safeword rules apply! As in, the safeword is used, then everything stops (in this case edge and denial) and aftercare is instituted after immediate health and safety has been assessed. Later, at an appropriate time, debrief and plan a way forward eother with or without Edged Orgasm Denial.

I have deliberately chosen to only focus on the physiology and none of the emotional, reparionship, or D/s reasons, motivations, or consequences. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

As in everything I type out here, this just my two cents on the topic. And you can take it for what it’s worth to you or leave it.

My only request is that you do not be so presumptuous as to assign negative motives or evil intent to me or my words if you find them deficient, clueless, or poorly chosen.

I can assure you, I am well aware of my privileged and blessed state if living. But publicly shaming me for my ignorance or hamhanded attemps at communicating does nothing to further my growth, equality, or the conversation.

Andreea Rosse

No words needed… 

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